


Vital Signs

by Star_trekkin_across_theuniverse



Series: Vital Signs [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-01
Updated: 2013-11-01
Packaged: 2018-01-19 23:21:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 55,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1487857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Star_trekkin_across_theuniverse/pseuds/Star_trekkin_across_theuniverse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alexandra Richmond is a non-combat cog (OC) in the SHIELD machine. In her job as a nurse and then a doctor on the Helicarrier, she rubs elbows with most of the Avengers, at some point or another. Rated M for language, Lex is a potty mouth. Will add the characters as they make their appearances. Story starts after Thor and Captain America, but before Avengers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The thought crossed my mind that had university not been so damned expensive, I never would have found myself in this mess. It crossed my mind as I hit the floor during sparring practice. Despite toeing the party line, and understanding that in a ‘military’ operation, all members of the team needed to be capable of self-defense, I still didn’t quite understand why the nurse needed to be versed in hand-to-hand combat. Running, sure. Ducking, absolutely. Avoiding being killed, you bet. I even agreed that self-defense and target practice were important parts of being job ready. I just didn’t get the hand-to-hand combat part. That’s what the agents were for. That’s what the Avengers were for. I was just there to patch people up after. I found that I thought about this a lot on days when I kissed the mat more than usual. Those days were always assessment days. And while it was reassuring to know I wouldn’t lose my job for being inept at throwing punches, it was still frustrating to have monthly assessments. Particularly when I failed them all so spectacularly. 

Still, the job at SHIELD was worth the aches and pains. My degree was paid in full upon on recruitment, and for the most part, I never got into the thick of things. While technically a trauma nurse, I spent most of my time doing annual physicals, patching up owies from the tech department and giving immunizations and tetanus shots. A lot of tetanus shots.

“I think you’ve actually become worse, Lex.” I was pushing myself up off the sparring mat. My trainer, Jackson, grabbed my hand and helped me up.

“Well, it’s not for lack of trying. Can’t we just agree that I shouldn’t be in situations where I could need this skill, and go from there?” I tried my most winning smile. He laughed. Agent Jack Jackson (really, his parents should have been shot) smiled back.

“Even if we just parked you here on the Helicarrier for your entire career, you wouldn’t get away from the need for hand-to-hand. I’ll see what we can do about getting you some more training time. With a better instructor. I’m just not equipped to manage your needs.”

“I’m a helluva nurse, Jack.”

“That you are. If only we could keep you locked away where you would never need to defend youself..”

“Or? You could put the infirmary down the end of a long narrow hallway. Because I’m an awesome shot.” That got Jack laughing. But I was. Learning to shoot a gun had been easy. I’d grown up bow-hunting and winning international youth archery competitions, so the conversion to a handgun had been simple.

“I don’t think we can retrofit the boat to suit the nurse’s needs, but I will talk to Fury about getting you some remedial training. In the meantime, hit the showers and head back to work.”

I grabbed a towel and headed to the locker rooms. I should have felt worse, but the reality was, I was an amazing nurse, and I was passably good at everything combat related. Except hand-to-hand. So I figured since I was capable to dropping a stitch into an open wound in a war zone (and was field tested at that, no less), I wasn’t going to beat myself up over the inability to make a fist with my pathetically small girly-hands. I wasn’t Agent Romanoff, after all.  
Lost in my thoughts, I didn’t notice I wasn’t alone in the showers until she spoke to me. Romanoff, that is. It was like she’d materialized simply because I had thought of her. Weird.

“Hey, you suck.”

“Yeah? Your patient enters the ER complaining of jaw pain, headache and has an elevated heart rate. What do you do?” I hoped that pointing out our differences would make her back off. She rolled her eyes.

“I don’t expect you to be an awesome fighter. I expect you to be an awesome nurse. I was just gonna say, you know, I could help. If you’ll help me with something.” It didn’t escape my notice that we were chatting about this while naked in the showers. I could just imagine the raunchy commentary from some of the guys.

“Don’t tell me you want to learn first aid.”

“Nope. I want you to take down Barton.”

“The fuck? What? Didn’t we just establish that my hand-to-hand is asstastic at best?” I stopped scrubbing my hair to stare at her.

“We did. But I’ve read your file. And you medalled in archery at the Olympics the year we recruited you.”

“That was 6 years ago.” I rinsed my hair and grabbed a towel. She followed me out of the shower.

“You still shoot. I’ve seen you on the range.”

“And you think I’m better than Barton?”

“At target archery, absolutely. Maybe not in the field.” She shrugged.

“I took down a 400 pound moose with my bow when I was 11.”

“Even better.”

“And you’ll help with my hand-to-hand if I do what, exactly? Beat him at a target competition?”

“Exactly.”

“Why exactly?”

“I love to fuck with his head. Come on, Richmond, it’ll be fun!” She slapped me on the shoulder and headed to her locker.

“I’m sure I’ll regret this, but okay. Since you have access to my file, which is crap, by the way, check when my time off is, and let me know. Gimme a week to practice too. And no exploding magic arrows.” I toweled off, put my scrubs back on and headed to the infirmary, wondering if I was the most stupid woman on the planet.


	2. Chapter 2

I was standing at the range, fully drawn and aiming when I felt something tickle the back of my knee. I exhaled and released the arrow, ignoring the tickle. The arrow flew true and hit the centre of the gold ring. I turned to face Clint Barton and raised an eyebrow.

“Seriously? Dude, I medalled at the Olympics. I’m not some novice archer.”

“Had to check out the competition.” He shrugged.

“And your verdict?”

“You should practice more. 3 days left.” He smirked. I wondered why I let Romanoff talk me into this in the first place, and then recalled the slow, but steady improvement in my hand-to-hand skills in the last few days. She was a good teacher. It was worth it. I headed toward to target to retrieve my arrows. He followed.

“Cocky, Barton. Could be your downfall.” I pulled my arrows from the target, from a tight cluster at the centre. He ran his hand across the target face and nodded in appreciation.

“How are you under pressure, though?”

“Medal. Olympics.” I walked back to the line and put my gear away. He chuckled and mumbled something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like ‘Stark will distract you.’ I squared my shoulders, shook my head and left the range.

I had a line-up at the infirmary when I got back from stowing my bow in my bunk. I looked at my schedule in confusion. I only had one physical booked, and a few tetanus shots. I’d planned on using my afternoon for charting and following up on files, but the infirmary was busy. The nurse’s aide approached me quickly with a stack of paper.

“These are all drop-ins. Everything from slivers to sprains to scratches and –“

“Other things that start with the letter S?” I interrupted and flipped through the clipboard at the top. She wasn’t great a triage, but no one on the list was emergent anyhow. And no one was hurt badly enough to need the doctor. I looked at the line suspiciously. Mostly active-duty agents, who generally avoided the infirmary unless it was life threatening.

“How many of you are here just because they found out about Agent Romanoff’s wager?” Most of them couldn’t make eye contact with me, “Look, I have a job to do. If you are just here to figure out for whom you should wager, I would recommend you save yourself some time. I’m not going to help you decide. On the other hand, if you’d like to stick around, I’d be happy to update anyone’s immunizations that might be due. There’s a huge backlog on tetanus shots. You can ask me whatever you like in the time it takes to drop your shorts for the needle.”

Half the line vanished in about 30 seconds. Sure. They didn’t want to be treated when they were injured because they were too tough, but they were terrified of a small needle. 

“The rest of you will be seen in order of how you appear on the clipboard after I have finished my scheduled appointments. Jana, is my 1330 here?” I asked the nurse’s aide. She nodded. I picked up the chart and my stethoscope and headed into the exam room. 

“Captain Rogers?” I asked without looking up. I have to admit; it was hard to stay cool with Captain Goddamn America sitting in my exam room in nothing but his shorts. His adorably outdated old-timey army issue shorts. I seriously needed to get out more.

“Ma’am.”

“Captain, you’re old enough to be my granddad. Please don’t call me ma’am.” I smiled, hoping to soften the impact of the words. He was sitting on the exam table, looking decidedly uncomfortable. I flipped through his chart and looked back up at him, trying not to ogle him. It’s considered unprofessional to drool on your patients. 

“Why are you here, Captain? Your last physical was just a couple weeks ago.” I was confused. All his follow-up labs were fine and he was physiologically unmarred from his ordeal. Very physiologically unmarred. The man was chiseled, beautiful perfection. I reflected again on how very little romantic action I had seen in the past months and resolved to do something about it before I mauled someone important.

“I needed to talk to someone. I don’t feel right.” He offered. I sat down.

“Okay.”

“I feel like something is wrong. I just can’t figure out what it is. I’ve never been sick, not since I had the serum. Haven’t felt weak, haven’t felt tired. Definitely have felt beat up, but I heal fairly quickly, so that’s passing. But something else is wrong. I’m not sleeping well.” His eyes were sad. 

“Captain, you’ve been through a pretty major trauma and life change. Without really having any time to adapt. It’s understandable to not feel right. I’m not sure what I can do for you. Have you had a chance to see one of the SHIELD psychiatrists?” I offered.

“I don’t really trust them. Talking about feelings isn’t really something I’m used to, and won’t they just report on me?”

“They’re not supposed to.” I was honest.

“But they might?”

“It’s been known to happen. When they are concerned that the mental wellbeing of an asset could affect an assignment.” I’d had this conversation before. No agent wanted to be seen as a liability, so they rarely took advantage of any counseling services.

“I’m not crazy!” He was defensive.

“Captain Rogers, there have been so many advances in what we understand about the chemistry of the brain in the last 60 years. Mentally not feeling 100% is not a sign that you are crazy, it’s a sign that something could be out of whack. I don’t understand exactly how the serum you were given works, so I don’t want to assume that it would have corrected any psychological illness you may have struggled with. It should have, Dr. Erskine was brilliant. But you could have a situational depression, or just have a case of culture shock. A lot has changed. It would be entirely understandable.”

“Can I come talk to you? Or will you report back on me as well?”

“I won’t report on you. Unless you ask me to.” I felt for him. It would be difficult to talk to other agents about what had happened when you’re expected to be the ultimate superhero. 

“Thank you, ma’am.”

“It’s Lex.” I corrected.

“Then please call me Steve. Can I come back whenever I want?”

“Anytime I’m on duty, I’ve always got openings. Just maybe not a lot. You are a super-soldier after all. You shouldn’t be getting sick regularly. I can only say I’m monitoring your lab work and vital signs for so long.” I scribbled some notes in his chart and tossed it in my outbox for filing.

“I appreciate it, Lex. I don’t feel like I have anyone to talk to. The nurses in the war were always someone you could count on.”

“Well, don’t count on me smoothing your fevered brow, Steve.” I laughed. He smiled, genuinely. I stood and excused myself so he could get dressed. I was digging a sliver out of Jackson’s hand when he left.

“Thanks again, Lex.”

“Sure, Steve. Have a good afternoon.” I waved. Jack raised an eyebrow.

“Captain America doesn’t get sick.”

“He’s only been thawed out for a few months, Jack. We still need to monitor him. No one else has ever had the serum, and we don’t know how it will be affected by the deep freeze.” I shut him down and yanked the sliver out, “Seriously? A sliver? Why didn’t you just ask about the wager at sparring practice tomorrow?”

“Because I hear you’re getting better, and I didn’t want to get hurt.” He smiled broadly. I smacked him on the shoulder and laughed.

XXX

I was getting better, I reflected as I stared down at Jack after tossing him over my shoulder. He was lying on his back, looking completely stunned. 

“All this in 5 days, Lex?”

“Romanoff is a good instructor.”

“Ouch, thanks!” He laughed and sprang to his feet, “I’ll remember that this time, and I won’t go so easy on you.”

“Don’t hold back on account of my suckage, Jackson.” Before I knew it, I was pinned again. And totally not minding on account of the pretty on top of me. But I was getting better. He pulled me back to my feet again, and we kept at it. I could tell I was steadier on my feet and was reacting more intelligently, if not more quickly. He was still able to throw me to the mat nine times out of ten, but that was one fewer times than earlier in the week. 

“This wager is doing you a world of good, Lex. Are you worried?”

“Not really. I don’t care about the outcome. I mean, I want to win because Barton’s reputation is amazing, and I’d like to prove I’m not dead weight around here. But I’m not going to be heartbroken if I lose. I don’t think he gets that. He keeps trying to sabotage me.” I told Jackson about the constant interruptions while I was practicing on the range. Barton was always there when I was there. It was kind of endearing that he felt threatened enough to check up on me everyday.

“Stark is wagering on you winning, you know.” He tossed me to the mat again, and held me down.

“Stark has more money than brains, Jackson.” I laughed, “I’m just a nurse. I’m no one special, I’m just here to keep you lot on your feet.” Jack nodded and leaned back, letting go of my arms. I punched him lightly in the stomach.

“Get off me. I stink, and I need to be back in the infirmary in about 20 minutes.”

XXX


	3. Chapter 3

“You look pale, Richmond. Are you nervous?” Romanoff eyed me suspiciously. I rolled my eyes and laughed.

“Not in the least. I don’t get nervous.”

“Really?” She turned to face me full on and assessed me carefully.

“Really. It’s just another competition. It’s not like I’m being assessed to be a field agent. It’s not like my country’s pride is on the line if I lose. It’s just you, messing with your friend, and using me as the means. As long as you’re okay that I may not win.” I shrugged. She smirked.

“The mindfuck has been the best part of this. Because he doesn’t know if he’s going to win or not. That said, there are a lot of wagers now.”

“I’ve heard. I think the odds on me are 10 to 1.” I nodded, and waxed my bowstring.

“You’re okay with the crowd that’ll be watching then?” Romanoff narrowed her eyes, almost disbelieving my calm.

“Agent Romanoff, I am not a field agent. I am a nurse. A trauma nurse. Sure, I have a background in Olympic sport, but I’m certainly not one of you guys. I’m just a woman with a bow. If Barton can’t beat me, I’d be surprised, but you know, archery is such that on any given day, any individual can win. Maybe my concentration will be better than his. Maybe my bow is in need of tuning. Who knows. But I got over being nervous in competition when I was a kid. And quite frankly, it’s significantly more nerve wracking to have your Prime Minister watching you shoot for your country than have the likes of Iron Man looking over the proceedings.”

“Prime Minister?” She looked confused. I pulled up my sleeve and showed her my national team tattoo.

“I’m Canadian.” I shrugged and pulled my sleeve back down. It shouldn’t have been surprising to her that SHIELD recruited outside of the United States considering her background, but she seemed surprised nonetheless. Maybe because I wasn’t an agent. 

XXX

The viewing gallery of the range was full to capacity with agents who wanted to see how the contest panned out. From what I’d heard over the past few days, there was a lot of beer riding on the outcome. I’d even heard of a couple of guys who’d bet their vacation time.

I wanted to avoid looking, but I had to know how many people I knew who were watching. There had to be at least 50 crammed in the gallery. I saw Agent Jackson talking to the infirmary doctor. They both waved and smiled. Jackson gave me a wink and thumbs up, and then pointed over his shoulder to where Tony Stark was sitting, chatting with Agent Coulson. Why Stark was even on the helicarrier was beyond me. In the back corner of the gallery, Captain Rogers had slipped in. No one really noticed him though, as very few people were even aware of who he was. Most of the other agents looked familiar in some way. After six months on the helicarrier, that was no real surprise. I’d probably given half of them tetanus shots after the incident in New Mexico with the hammer and the giant space robot.

Barton stepped over to me, and offered his hand. I shook it and smiled.

“Good luck, Agent Barton.” 

“Don’t need it.” He winked. His confidence was evident in everything about him, the squared shoulders, the smug grin, even the way he walked. He was certain of his victory. The ego that he displayed struck a nerve, and for the first time in years, I really wanted this victory. I smiled with just as much arrogance as I took my place on the line beside him.

“Actually, Agent Barton, you do.” We stood back to back waiting for the signal to begin, and I wondered how long it had been since he’d shot in a competition. In my experience, it unsettled most competitors that I was left-handed because it threw off what they saw in their peripheral vision, but Barton wasn’t target shooting at an indoor range regularly enough for that to be to my advantage, I didn’t think.

The light at the end of the range turned green, signaling that we could begin shooting. I took my time, got comfortable and spaced my arrows out, taking time to breathe and refocus between them. Barton proved he was unused to the range by sending off his volley of arrows in rapid succession, as though the target was suddenly going to shoot back if he didn’t kill it. We waited for the targets to be scored, and our arrows to be retrieved, and again loosed our shots down range. We repeated the process 8 more times, until all 10 ends had been shot. I noticed that Barton never once asked what his score was. I was the same way. I had a fairly good idea of how I’d been shooting, but I never liked hearing the score until the end, otherwise I would worry too much about making up lost ground. He was obviously cut from the same cloth. Or just that much more confident in his shooting.

When our final arrows were shot, I laid my bow down and stretched. My shoulders were tight and the muscles in my back were aching. My left shoulder in particular was absolutely killing me, reminding me of why I’d quit shooting in the first place. Romanoff stood beside the agent who’d been scoring us, reading over his shoulder and suddenly let out a whoop of surprise.

“Richmond! You won!” She laughed. I was mid-stretch and stopped dead in my tracks. The previously silent gallery erupted in noise, as people started collecting their winnings from one another. I saw Jackson collect from the doctor, laughing and watched as Tony Stark held out his hand to collect what appeared to be a bottle of scotch from Coulson. I looked back at Barton in shock, honestly not registering what Romanoff had said. He looked equally surprised. He reached into his quiver, pulled out an arrow and handed it to me.

“Congrats. It a shame you’ll be stuck in the infirmary for your whole career. You’d be a good asset.” He offered. I took the arrow and offered him one of my own.

“I’m much more use in the infirmary. I don’t know that I would be able to hit a moving target anymore.”

“Maybe there’s a rematch in that.” He laughed, and slapped my bad shoulder, eliciting a wince and yelp of pain. His eyes widened, and he snatched his hand back.

“I was originally recruited as a field agent, Barton. When I blew out my shoulder, the agency paid for med school.” Not many people knew that about me, but I figured his ego was hurting and it would help for him to know I was recruited because of my ability to shoot a weapon.

“But you’re a nurse.”

“Yeah. Circumstances changed. Nursing became the option.” I shrugged. He didn’t really need to know the whys of the situation in order for the knowledge to be a balm for his beat-up ego.

“You must have some incredible backstory.”

“Don’t we all?” I laughed.


	4. Chapter 4

There’s a certain amount of notoriety that comes with a victory against Hawkeye and it can attract unwanted attention from all corners. The infirmary got busy again for a few days after the competition. To my advantage, it meant that all immunizations, boosters and vaccines were up-to-date. But it also meant I was falling behind on my paperwork, and taken away from more important tasks. The helicarrier infirmary ran with a very small staff. We had one doctor, 4 nurses and 4 nurse’s aides for everyone on board. We were never really busy, but had certain protocols that needed to be met, as we were essentially a mobile medical unit. Disaster routines needed to be practiced and altered (my favourite protocol was ‘First Responder Duties in the Event of a Destroyer Attack’, mostly because I’d managed to get it approved with the second step ‘Don’t pee yourself’, although ‘The Physical Assessment of Norse Deities’ was a very close second), supplies needed inventorying frequently, charting needed to be completed. We also did physical assessments of every agent as they reported for duty to the helicarrier and before they left for other assignments. So as a small clinic, we had a steady flow of traffic. Having extra people through who were essentially coming to gawk was irritating to the entire staff. Particularly because I was the head nurse, and should have been a better example.

The disruption to services in the infirmary did not go unnoticed from up the chain of command either, I learned. I was called in for a meeting with the director about a week later.

I reported to Fury, not without a certain amount of trepidation. The man unsettled me in a big way, and usually you were either really important or in huge amounts of shit to be called to his carpet. I was not even remotely important, so I assumed the worst.

“Richmond. Sit.” He was behind his desk; with my personnel file open in front of him. He flipped through some pages to a section he had actually flagged off with one of those plastic post-it arrows. I took a deep breath and sat. My stomach cramped.

“It says here you were recruited to be a field agent after you took an individual bronze and a team silver in archery at the Olympics 6 years ago.”

“Yes sir.”

“And somehow you became a nurse instead of an agent.”

“I wrecked my shoulder and couldn’t shoot anymore, sir.”

“And yet somehow you managed to hand Barton his ass in an archery competition last week.”

“Yes sir.”

“How, exactly, did you pull that off?”

“Desperation, sir?” I didn’t want to say too much.

“Explain what you mean. In detail. I have time.”

“My hand-to-hand sucks, sir. It’s probably in that file. Agent Romanoff approached me and offered to give me some remedial training in hand-to-hand if I would be willing to compete against Agent Barton in an archery competition. She just wanted to mess with him a little. Agent Romanoff had access to my file, obviously, as she knew my history, so I assumed she was also aware that she would be using my reputation as an Olympian to fuck with Agent Barton and not my actual ability. I practiced a little, and then the day of the competition I shot really well. My shoulder had been killing me since. Doc gave me a cortisone shot this morning, but I might need something stronger if this keeps up,” I offered. 

“It says here that you declined the surgery to repair your shoulder when you were initially injured.” He raised an eyebrow. The, uh, eyebrow that wasn’t under the eye patch. Wow. Awkward.

“It wouldn’t work. The surgery? It doesn’t work, sir.”

“You don’t think we have access to the best surgeons in the world, Richmond? That maybe we’ve got some medical advances under our hats that others don’t have access to?” 

“With all due respect, sir, don’t you think that would be highly unethical to have access to medical advances that can fix destroyed tendons, and not share it with the world?” I shot back. I immediately regretted it. Fury laughed in response. Not sure if that was good or bad.

“It probably is. Sometimes the good guys need the advantage. So rather than cut you loose after your injury, we then funded you for medical school, but you wound up a nurse instead of a doctor?” He redirected the conversation.

“Yes sir.”

“And that is because? There’s no notation in your personnel file on why that changed, and your transcripts certainly don’t paint a picture of you flunking out. ”

“I got pulled to New Mexico to deal with the aftermath of the Destroyer. Couldn’t get my head back in the game after. My S.O. suggested I take the NClex until my brain settled.” The nightmares had taken a year to get past, but I no longer woke at night with the smell of charred flesh in my throat.

“You were finished, with the exception of your boards. And there’s no mention of PTSD on your file.” He flipped to the medical report on me.

“There should be.” I was puzzled by its absence, as I’d had to sign off on about 60 different SHIELD forms. Forms for time-off, forms for compensation, forms for benefits coverage for therapy, forms for medication reimbursement. I had begun to think SHIELD ran solely on paperwork. He ran a finger down the medical report and stopped.

“’Richmond shows signs of PTSD, reporting nightmares, fatigue, depression. Further report when diagnosis follows’. And then no further report.”

“Sir, if you will give me permission and use your override, I can pull my medical file for you.” He logged into his computer and turned it toward me. I pulled up the report and the related files from therapy and turned it back to him. He scanned the document quickly and looked up.

“Your therapist feels there is nothing to prevent you from returning to your residency. We could definitely use a board certified doctor, instead of having you continue masquerading as a nurse.”

“Nothing to prevent me returning except that I lost my placement when I quit. I like being a nurse, sir.”

“SHIELD didn’t pay over 100 grand for you to become a nurse regardless of your talent. We paid for you to become a doctor. It’s time to write your boards, finish your residency and take on a medical assignment.”

“Sir, with all due respect, I don’t have anywhere to finish.”

“This is SHIELD, Richmond. I will have your assignment for you by morning. Pack up your bunk and be ready to hop a chopper to the city by 0600.”

“Yes sir.” I replied. I was seeing spots. I did not feel ready. He waved me out of the office and went back to whatever it was that he did. I didn’t really want to know. 

“Richmond!” He stood as I was heading out the door. I turned back to him.

“Get your fucking shoulder fixed too.”

“Sir –“ I began.

“I don’t want to hear it. The world changed when that hammer hit New Mexico. Every member of SHIELD needs to be field ready. Who knows what will come next, but I’ll be damned if I have a doctor on the ground who can’t defend herself or her patients.” He slammed his fist on his desk in emphasis. 

“Understood, sir.”


	5. Chapter 5

I woke up to my pager and was momentarily disoriented. I lifted my head from the textbook I’d dozed off into, wiped the drool from the corner of my mouth and checked the message. As usual, I was wanted in the ER. 

After returning to finish my residency at Midtown General, it became apparent very quickly that SHIELD, and in particular Director Fury, had made it clear to my residency program that I was to be accelerated through to finish as soon as possible, and that I needed my focus to be trauma. As a result, I always kept a clean set of clothes in my locker, and I hadn’t seen my apartment in about 6 days. TV shows might lead you to believe that a lot of naughty happens in the on-call rooms, but I would have killed anyone who came near me looking for blow off steam. I was too tired and too worried about my boards.

I ran down to the ER to find out what was happening. I checked in with the triage nurse.

“Hey, thanks for answering my page. There’s a really hot guy here with a deep laceration on his arm, and he said he knows you and only wants you to treat him. Curtain two.” She handed me the chart. I flipped it open as I opened the curtain and couldn’t help but smile when I looked up.

“Captain Rogers! It’s been too long.” I said warmly. He smiled back and then directed his gaze to his arm. He pulled back the makeshift dressing he was holding on it. I dropped the chart.

“Holy shit, Steve. What the hell?” The gash in his forearm was about 3 inches long and oozing blood. I grabbed a pair of gloves and started poking at it.

“Would you believe this is a gym injury?” He blushed.

“Really? The equipment is fighting back?” I pulled a dressing cart behind the curtain and set about cleaning it up. It was a clean tear, but it was deep.

“Actually, yeah. It’s a long story, but part of a press machine popped apart.”

“At least I know your tetanus shot is up to date,” I laughed, “but you’re going to have to help me out. I know your healing is accelerated, but is it enhanced too? If you were a normal guy I would put a couple of internal stitches in and then stitch up the laceration, but I don’t know if that’s appropriate here? You must have been hurt at some point during the war, right? What did the docs do then?” I was trying to keep quiet. Most people had no idea that Captain America had been found, and thawed back into life. It was probably why he sought me out for treatment.

“I’m not magical, Lex. If you would put stitches in a normal guy, then I need them too. I’ll just need them out sooner than the average guy.” He chuckled. I shot him a look and opened the dressing cart to dig for sutures. I stitched his wound closed and put a dressing on it.

“I’m going to guess you’re still susceptible to infection as well, so I’m going to give you a shot of penicillin too. But otherwise, you are all fixed up. I can take those out in a few days for you, pretty much as soon as they start to itch.” I wrote the penicillin order in his chart and dropped it back in the chart rack so the nurse could get the med ready. I returned to his bedside to clean up. 

“You didn’t mention you were a doctor when we spoke.”

“Because I wasn’t, Steve.”

“But your name tag says Doctor now, Lex. I might have been asleep for a while, but I know med school takes longer than a few weeks.”

“It’s a long story.” I gestured to the busy ER.

“Meet me for dinner sometime and tell me about it.” He shrugged, and stood up.

“Why, Captain Rogers, are you asking me on a date?” I couldn’t help but smile. He was very hot. And he seemed really nice, so far. And he was Captain Fucking America, which was kind of cool, and seemed to suggest he was probably a pretty decent guy.

“I don’t know. Am I?” He seemed surprised, and looked down at his feet before looking back up at me. “Listen, I’ve been told that I can use my phone to send letters, if I have your phone number. Is that true?” He dug into his pocket for his phone.

“It is. Do you want me to put my number in there for you?”

“Yeah, I’m still figuring it out. I feel pretty stupid sometimes.” He handed it to me. I added my number, and sent myself a text from his phone so I had his as well before handing it back.

“There, now I have your number too. I’m supposed to have tomorrow and Thursday off, but I’ve been up for about 36 hours, so I am not going to be great company tomorrow. Let me know if Thursday works for you.”

“Sure. Thanks Lex. I don’t know a lot of people, and Fury has asked me to keep a low profile.” He blushed. I had to wonder exactly how awkward he’d been before he got the super serum that turned him into a hero. He seemed awfully shy.

“You don’t need to apologize for wanting to be friends, Steve. I’m lonely too.”

“Thursday then.” He said and shook my hand, which was a little weird. I nodded and excused myself. I checked in with the head nurse to make sure he got his antibiotic shot, and went back to the on-call room to keep studying. If I was going to take an evening off to hang out, I needed to redouble my study efforts. The boards were in just a few weeks.

XXX

I was jogging through Central Park when my text alert chirped in my ear. I stopped running and pulled my phone out of the running sleeve to check the message and immediately cracked up. 

“Dear Alexandra,  
I hope you are well and got some sleep last night. The weather has been great the last couple of days, it would be a shame for you to miss out on enjoying it. Further to our conversation on Tuesday at the hospital, I wanted to make sure you were still available for dinner tonight. If you are, I would like to meet you at the hospital at 1800, and from there we can continue out for the evening. I am looking forward to seeing you, and hope you enjoy the plans I’ve made. Please let me know if you received this letter. It seems very strange to be sending you a letter through this tiny phone.   
Sincerely,   
Captain Steve Rogers”

I was laughing so hard I started to cough and had to sit down on a bench. I quickly typed a response, careful to make sure it would make sense and not seem short with him and continued on with my run. I received another text back from him as I was running up the stairs to my apartment.

“Lex,   
Thank you for writing back so quickly. I had no idea the letter would reach you as fast as it did. I’m glad we can still get together. And thank you, I will remind you to show me how to make text messaging easier. I would appreciate it. I’m having a hard time with how much technology has changed.  
Steve”

He was so naïve it hurt. And I was really looking forward to our ‘date’.

XXX

True to his word, at six p.m., Steve was waiting outside the doors of the ER. Even better, he was holding out a Starbucks cup.

“The clerk said I should try a caramel macchiato, but I like mine black. I hope you do too.” He smiled. I was totally taken in by his offer, and accepted the coffee while giving him a quick appraisal. Yep, lots had changed since the 1940s. He was wearing a button down shirt, open at the collar, and I could see he had a white t-shirt underneath it. It was paired with khaki Dockers that were belted appropriately at his waist, and not hanging down showing the top of his underpants off. He looked old-fashioned and at the same time, so incredibly hot. 

“You look great, Steve.” I offered.

“Thanks, you look fantastic. I had no idea your hair was so long. Or so red.” He said. And then blushed. 

I’d been careful in picking out what to wear. So far, he’d only actually seen me in scrubs or my archery whites, and he’d been back long enough that I didn’t think the pants on women would be really shocking anymore, but I opted to wear a wrap dress anyhow. And to be honest, it was the only dress I had. I was wearing a heeled boot that brought my height to just above his shoulder, which was nice. I usually wore flats around guys just because anything more than 2 inches and I wound up six feet tall. It’s unnerving to be that tall. Steve was tall enough that I didn’t look like a giant. I linked my arm in his and smiled at him.

“Where to, Cap?”

“I hope this isn’t too forward, but I was hoping we could go to my apartment. I’ve discovered that I really like cooking since I’ve been… back.” He waited for my response.

“I love a man who can cook.” We walked off the same direction I’d come from and when he stopped in front of my building I couldn’t help but laugh.

“You live here?” I asked. He nodded. I held my door key up.

“It must be SHIELD building.” He laughed. 

He definitely had the better apartment. I had a bachelor suite, no bedroom, tiny kitchen, miniature bathroom. He had a separate bedroom, and a decent sized kitchen that opened into a living room that was roomy enough to accommodate a big TV. I was jealous. The aroma in the apartment was amazing. He’d obviously figured out enough about the 21st century to realize that I was not going to have a problem having dinner at his place, as he’d already set something in the oven. Whatever it was, it was mouth watering. I sat down on a bar stool across the counter from where he was working and watched him. He immediately set about making a salad, obviously not used to company, as he was humming tunelessly. To say I was smitten would be an understatement. He probably drank a gallon of milk every day and cared for orphans too.

“What’s that you’re humming?” I couldn’t resist asking. He turned bright red.

“Oh, uh. It’s old. You probably wouldn’t know it. Glenn Miller.” 

“Love Glenn Miller. I just didn’t recognize the tune.” My grandfather had been in a band in the 40s, and his love of playing had been one of the highlights of my childhood. The thought gave me pause. Steve was probably born around the same time.

“Yeah, the serum didn’t cure me of being tone deaf.” He laughed, “Oh, I’m a terrible host. Can I offer you a drink? I have Coca-Cola or milk. Or water, I guess.” I bit the inside of my cheek. He did drink milk. 

“Still working on my coffee, but thanks.” We sat in an amiable silence for a while as he continued to prepare dinner.

“It smells amazing,” I offered when he pulled the pan out of the oven. He dished up and came and sat on the bar stool beside me to eat. But first he said grace. I wasn’t sure who was suffering worse culture shock, him or me. Alone in his apartment we were equally odd to one another. I could understand wanting to spend the evening together here. After dinner, he invited me to stay for a movie. I decided I probably could stay, as I just needed to go down a single flight of stairs to get home. I got comfortable on the couch while he made popcorn and chatted excitedly about how much he was enjoying catching up on the movies he’d messed.

I woke up to my phone ringing, stretched out on the couch under a blanket, with the sun shining brightly into my eyes. 

“Yeah?” I answered.

“Dr. Richmond. You are late for rounds.” It was the chief attending at the hospital.


	6. Chapter 6

I checked in with the chief attending and waited to be yelled at. Which he didn’t.

“Dr. Richmond, sit.” He gestured toward a chair in the student lounge. I sat.

“I’m really sorry, Dr. Jameson. I fell asleep watching a movie and hadn’t set my alarm. Not that there are excuses, but that’s all I’ve got to offer.” I had a bad habit of picking at my cuticles when I was nervous. I was definitely picking.

“I understand you must be exhausted. We’ve been pushing you exceptionally hard because of what your employer has requested of us. But I think maybe too hard. Dr. Johnson says you were here for six days in a row before these days off. Without going home.” It was a question, not a statement.

“Yes, sir.” I nodded.

“We’re cutting back your floor hours. Your boards are significantly more important at this point, and in light of your previous experience, I’m comfortable with your skills.”

“But I need the hours to qualify-“

“Your hours in New Mexico count.” He interrupted. He handed me a revised schedule. They weren’t cutting my hours by much, but enough that I might not drop from exhaustion before boards. Both our pagers went off. Back to work.

“Make sure you get changed before you come to the ER. Wouldn’t want to ruin your date outfit.” Dr. Jameson winked at me. I flushed and headed to the locker room.

XXX

There had been a gas leak or something in the subway, and we were getting loads of people coming in with respiratory issues. Fortunately, it was just respiratory issues, so the all-hands-on-deck call was kind of unnecessary once we got the first few patients managed. 

“I’m leaving you in charge, Dr. Richmond. Do not hesitate for call for assistance if anything changes.” Dr. Jameson patted my shoulder and left the floor. It didn’t really change anything about how the ER ran. The triage nurses were so good that as a doctor, all I really needed to do was pick up the top chart on the pile when I was ready to see another patient.

XXX

Despite being a manageable disaster, the subway accident pushed patients to us for at least another 12 hours. It was ridiculous that whatever was causing the respiratory issues was not resolved within the first few hours, but at the same time, a lot of people went through the station early in the day and were just noticing their symptoms as their days progressed. As the New York Transit Commission couldn’t tell us what had leaked, we had been running labs on everyone all day to ensure it wasn’t something more sinister. Everything came back clear though, so we just kept giving ventolin and oxygen and sending people home as they were feeling better. It wasn’t a mentally difficult day, but I was physically exhausted by the time we sent the last subway patient home. I flopped into a chair at the nurse’s station and sighed.

“So who was the hot guy the other day?” One of the nurses, Kim, asked.

“Oh, just a guy I know from my old job.”

“Where you were a nurse?” She asked. I nodded. She smiled at me. 

“Did you have to take care of him? I would have happily given him a sponge bath.” She leered. I laughed. The nurses I worked with now knew they could make those jokes because I understood that the naughty nurse stereotype couldn’t be further from the truth.

“He is definitely easy on the eyes.” I admitted.

“He was super polite when he came in too. He just kept saying, ‘I’m supposed to ask to see Alexandra Richmond.’ What do you suppose that means?” She asked. I laughed.

“Steve is new in town. Our boss probably told him to come here and find me when he got hurt.”

“Do you have super special healing powers?” Kim laughed.

“No, but Steve has some health issues that I am aware of. The kind that can affect the kind of care he gets.” It was hard to explain, obviously. I figured making him sound sicker was probably better than announcing he was a super soldier.

“What kind?” I should have known Kim wouldn’t let it go. She was a great nurse, and being vague with her was kind of like suggesting she wouldn’t understand.

“Well, without blowing patient confidentiality, he was in the army and deployed overseas. He’s got some ghosts that haunt him.” I lied. It sounded way better than saying he was essentially a super hero with super powers. Kim nodded and didn’t asking any other questions. I finished off some charting and then headed out to the lounge to study.

XXX

“Hey, new girl. Did it suck being stuck in the pit today?” The resident’s name was Smith, I think. I hadn’t bothered spending a lot of time getting to know my colleagues. I wasn’t going to be around long enough, and they were, for the most part, quite resentful of my being shoehorned into their residency program to meet my board requirements. Smith was the nicest of the bunch, but he struck me as the guy who fit in the least with his cohort.

“It kind of did.” I admitted. He nodded and sat down across from me.

“You seem more worried than the rest of us about boards.” He pointed at the stack of books that nearly constantly surrounded me.

“I took a couple years off.”

“Look, Lexy, you’re better than all of us. You’ve proved that about fifty times since you came here.” 

“Please don’t call me Lexy, Smith.” I flinched. He rolled his eyes and got up to refill his coffee cup. He topped mine up too.

“Then stop calling me Smith. My name is Jamie. You might fit in better if you learned our first names.”

“Jamie, what are you going to do when you finish your residency, and pass your boards?” I asked.

“I’m staying here. I’ve already been hired.” He shrugged.

“I’m not. This sounds so epically bitchy, but I can’t afford to make friends and get comfortable with all of you. It would be heartbreaking to leave. I’m trying to maintain professional courtesy, but I think maybe I’m failing at that. I’m used to a much more structured, formal work environment.”

“Yeah, you’ve come from some branch of the military, haven’t you?” He questioned.

“Something like that, yeah. I’m sorry I’m not more sociable, but the expectation is that once I’ve passed boards, I’m heading back from whence I came, which means it’s not likely I’ll see any of you again. It would suck so much to get close and then have that torn away. I’ll try to be friendlier.” I offered.

“I think that’s the most you’ve spoken to any of us since you arrived, Lexy.” He smiled.

“Please. Please don’t call me Lexy.” I requested. He laughed and grabbed my study deck and started quizzing me. It was kind of nice to have a study buddy. Even if he stalwartly refused to stop calling me Lexy.

XXX

After yet another all-nighter studying, I climbed the stairs to my apartment barefoot. Those boots were not made for walking. They were made for standing in one spot and looking pretty. I didn’t excel at either of those pursuits, in general. Steve was headed down the stairs with a laundry basket and smiled broadly when he saw me.

“Hey, how’ve you been?” I asked.

“Good. I think I need to visit you to have my stitches out.” He pulled up his shirtsleeve so I could look. The wound looked good, and I nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, gimme a half hour to get a shower, and then pop over. I’ll leave the door unlocked.” I felt decidedly more comfortable in my building once I had clarified that it was indeed entirely occupied by SHIELD staff.

The hot shower was exactly what I needed to wash the funk of the ER off. All I needed to make my day complete was a hard run, and I would be completely relaxed. I toweled my hair off and got dressed. I was sitting on my couch, brushing my hair when Steve came in. He looked around the apartment and then looked back at the door.

“Where’s your bedroom?” He asked.

“You’re standing in it.”

“You have no bed.” He looked completely confused. 

“It’s a fold away.” I laughed. I finished brushing my hair and braided it quickly, “Sit, I’ve got to find my suture kit. There’s beer, water and Coke in the fridge, help yourself.” Steve turned toward the fridge and opened it, fishing out a bottle of water.

“I don’t drink beer.”

“No?” I was digging in a drawer in my entertainment unit for my suture scissors, and some other supplies.

“Doesn’t affect me anymore.” He sat back down on the couch, “I also don’t really understand the obsession with bottled water.”

I sat down beside him and put some supplies in his lap. I cleaned the wound, and set about removing the sutures in his arm.

“I never understood it until I drank the water here. And then I totally understood.” I admitted.

“Yeah, I didn’t think you were from here.”

“I’m not.” I finished removing the stitches and rubbed some vitamin E on the scab.

“I don’t recognize your accent.”

“Because I don’t have one.” I laughed.

“But you do. You say some words differently than I do.”

“Maybe you have the accent.” I was being coy, but it really wasn’t that important.

“Where are you from, Lex?” He looked puzzled. I sighed.

“Canada.”

“Some of the best soldiers I fought with in the war were from Canada.” He looked nostalgic. Except it probably wasn’t really nostalgia, considering it probably felt like yesterday to him.

“So, put some of this on the scab every day until the redness starts to go away.” I handed him the small bottle of vitamin E.

“What does that do?”

“Makes the scar less noticeable.” He pocketed the bottle and stood up, awkwardly.

“Thanks for the assistance.” 

“Hey, Steve, do you want to go for a run?” I asked. I enjoyed his company. Even when we didn’t say anything. I didn’t normally enjoy having a running companion, but I thought he might be okay. He nodded.

“Sure. I’ll meet you downstairs in about 5 minutes.” He headed back to his apartment. It was refreshing to run with someone, and while I suspected that Steve slowed his pace to allow me to keep up, he seemed to enjoy it too. I made the concession of not running with my music, since he didn’t seem to have figured out that he could use his phone for that yet. We ran in silence, our pace set by the rhythm of our feet and breathing. We rounded the corner to our apartment about 45 minutes later. I was right, going for a run had been the last key to complete relaxation. I felt relaxed from the first time in ages. 

“Thanks.” I said as we headed back into the apartment. I needed another shower, but it was worth it.

“Tomorrow?” He asked.

“Sure, early? I have to be at the hospital at 0700.” It was so refreshing to use the 24 hour clock with someone. He nodded and continued up to his apartment. I really liked him. I was going to have to be careful I didn’t lose my heart to him. I somehow didn’t think that I would be Captain America’s type. And from what I heard, there’d been a girl before the plane crash.


	7. Chapter 7

Running with Steve every morning had been good for me in more ways than one. It motivated me to get home at night instead of staying at the hospital to study, and ensured I actually took the run that relaxed me every day. I was more focused when I was at work or studying as a result, and started to feel less worried about my boards. Which was a good thing as they were bearing down on me with alarming speed. I was scheduled for my oral exam in just days. 

I was getting ready to leave work, and was just cramming my books into my bag when the door to the locker room slammed open. I jumped, and my heart started to race. The rest of the residency cohort was coming in to knock off for the night as well.

“Lexy, are you sticking around for the all-nighter tonight? We are ordering pizza if we can get 40 questions right each in 30 minutes.” Erica tempted me. I shook my head, but Jamie jumped in to answer before I could.

“No, she’ll be going home. She has that guy she runs with every morning.” He winked at me. I rolled my eyes. Erica and Chan made that ‘woooo’ noise that little girls make when teasing each other about cooties and boys, and dissolved into giggles. I was actually kind of touched. I’d been making a bigger effort to be sociable with the other residents, and it was clearly paying off if they felt comfortable teasing me.

“Is he good in bed? He’s pretty hot. Even if he’s bad in bed, at least you can just look at him.” Erica asked. I choked. On nothing. I couldn’t even pass it off as choking on a drink because my hands were empty. I just choked. Jamie came running over to see if I needed the Heimlich, but he couldn’t help but laugh at me once he realized why it had happened. Pretty soon everyone except me was laughing. I was just trying to regain my composure and stop coughing. 

“I don’t know.” I admitted when I got my voice back. The laughter stopped.

“You haven’t slept with him?” Jamie was incredulous. I shook my head.

“We work together.” I offered as explanation.

“Oh please, Chan and Jamie slept with each other all last year!” Erica exclaimed. Chan threw a textbook at Erica and Jamie thumped his head against his locker in embarrassment. 

“Well, we haven’t.” I tried to shut down the conversation.

“But you’re into him!” Erica exclaimed. I pulled my coat out of the locker, “You must be into him, otherwise why would you be passing up pizza and board studying to go home so you can run in the morning?” 

“Because it keeps me sane.” I shut my locker and headed home.

XXX

I shouldn’t have been so surprised that my nightmares started again. I had never slept well when I was under stress, but with boards looming, not even my morning runs were helping anymore. I tossed most of the night. So much so that I contemplated actually heading back to the hospital to study, and then thought better of it. It would probably stress me out more. And bumping my run to 3am was also not a particularly bright idea. By morning, I was dragging, and almost texted Steve to back out of running. He knocked on my door before I could find my phone though.

“You spend the night studying?” He asked. I shook my head.

“No, just didn’t sleep well.”

“You’re off now until after your boards, right?” He asked. I nodded. He stepped inside and shut the door. He opened my fridge, looked disgusted, closed it, took my hand and led me out of the apartment.

“What are you doing?” I asked as he started dragging me upstairs. I was barefoot, and still in my pajamas. 

“Come on, I’m making you breakfast. You apparently don’t ever buy groceries.” He pushed me into his apartment and made me sit down on the couch. Before I could react, he had put a cup of coffee in my hand, and walked back into the kitchen. I found myself drawn to sit and watch him again. He was a pretty incredible cook, and watching him was like watching a show on the food network. In fact, he could probably get a show on the food network if he was willing to let everyone in the world know he was Captain America. Or if he cooked naked. He put a plate down in front of me, and handed me a fork. He stood opposite me, and dug into his breakfast. Bacon and eggs. It had been years since I’d allowed myself bacon and eggs. I didn’t need to be told twice. I devoured everything on my plate in moments.

“Thanks, Steve.” 

“Go. Sit on the couch. We’re going to watch some terrible action movie and relax, then we’ll go for our run. You can get back to killing yourself with studying this afternoon. I’m loving this Netflix thing you set up, by the way.” He started washing dishes with his back to me.

“Dude. You have a dishwasher.” I didn’t really mind. I was admiring the view. There was something so humble and unselfconscious about Steve. I think he probably knew he was insanely hot, but he just didn’t seem to care. And that lack of awareness, coupled with his incredible shoulders and really nice backside made for an amazing package. Shit, Erica was right. I was really into him. That was going to be problematic.

“I don’t trust it. And it’s faster to just wash them. The one time I ran the thing the noise was incredible and it took an hour. I can wash up in about 20 minutes without all the racket.” The stack of dishes beside the sink was starting to stack up. I grabbed a dishtowel and started drying.

“I don’t know where anything goes. Do you want me to wash and you dry?” I offered.

“I want you to get back on the couch and relax. But I’ll accept you drying the dishes because I know you’re going to fight me about it.” He hip checked me lightly. I checked him back and obviously took him off guard, as he stumbled away from the sink.

“Don’t start something you can’t finish, Steve. I grew up in Canada. Hockey wasn’t my sport, but I know how to throw a check.” I teased. He laughed and shook his head. When he finished washing, he took the dishtowel from me to finish drying. I protested, but he wound up the towel and snapped me on the ass to get me out of the kitchen. I surrendered, but not before topping up my coffee cup. 

“What are we watching, Steve? I’ll get us set up?” I asked from the couch.

“Pick something with lots of action, and not much plot.” He suggested. I turned on the TV and flipped to the action section on Netflix. That was about as far as I got before he jumped onto the couch beside me. I squeaked, clearly not expecting him to jump onto the couch from behind me. He laughed and put an arm around my shoulder. Turns out he just wanted to steal the remote from me, but he left his arm across my back, and I let him. Eventually, I relaxed enough that I leaned into his chest and got comfortable. He picked something that Stallone was in, that I hadn’t seen since I was a kid. It was a good choice, but I kept drifting to sleep. I would snap back awake every few minutes, but eventually, I just succumbed to my sleep deprivation and dozed off with Steve’s arm around me.

XXX

The smell of burning everything was everywhere. It was hard to describe, as it was a mix of burning wood, and gasoline, and human flesh. The air was thick with smoke, and my eyes were watering. I was making my way through the wreckage of the small New Mexico town, looking for survivors among the debris. It was madness. I shouldn’t have even been there, but I’d be doing a work-study rotation at a SHIELD mobile outpost to ensure I would fit with the ‘corporate culture’ once I finished my residency. And somehow managed to get into the path of an enormous fire-shooting robot alien from hell.

“Richmond, I have agents down on the roof of the Donutland. Go!” My earpiece chirped at me. I ran to the fire escape, threw my med kit on my back and started climbing. I was too late. 

“These two are gone. You’ll need dental for ID.” I called back after a quick assessment. They were charred to the point of being unrecognizable. The smell was overwhelming, and suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks. I’d never smelled or seen anything like it. I just made it to the edge of the building before I puked. I rinsed my mouth and headed back down the fire escape to see to the people I could actually help. But there weren’t many. They were calling the thing the Destroyer over the comms. It was an apt name. Everything it had targeted was obliterated in fire and smoke. 

I found another agent under a car that had been blown up. His arm was gone, his legs were crushed. I vomited again and started shaking. And screaming. It was more than I was ready or capable of handling, and it was far too soon.

XXX

“Lex, wake up! Wake up!” Steve was shaking me, and the most horrible screams I’d ever heard were coming from somewhere. I drew in a breath and it stopped. It was me. I put my hands over my ears and curled into a ball. Steve pulled me into his chest and rubbed my back.

“No. No. No.” I moaned. I couldn’t get the smell and taste out of my throat.

“What the hell, Lex?” Steve pushed me back so he could look at my face. I had never heard him use anything close to a curse word before. I took a gasping breath and started to cry. He smoothed my hair and pulled me close again, murmuring reassurances. I drifted back to sleep while still crying, secure in his tight embrace. When I woke, I was sprawled across his chest. His head was tilted back and he was snoring quietly. I put my hand on his chest to push myself off him. His hand covered mine and held me where I was.

“Oh no, you aren’t going anywhere. What the hell happened, Lex?”

“I had a nightmare. It’s nothing.” I stiffened. 

“You told me once I could talk to you and you wouldn’t say anything. I’m giving you the same courtesy. But if you don’t tell me what that was about, I will go to Fury.” He was stern. My eyes widened. He was serious. He was Captain Motherfucking America serious. I pushed myself into a sitting position and took a deep breath.

“A few months before they found you, there was an incident in New Mexico. This giant robot thing blew the hell out of a town. I was in a rotation with the mobile unit that was nearest, dealing with something we initially didn’t think was related. Anyhow, when the robot thing started blowing the fuck out of the town, the med team was sent in to deal with casualties. I had never been in the field. I’m not even a doctor yet. I wasn’t a nurse at the time. I was just a med student whose idea of trauma was broken bones and bullet wounds. I found three agents burned to a crisp by the thing. I didn’t think I was ever going to stop screaming.” I looked at my hands the whole time I spoke.

“You have shell shock. Lex, you should never have been in that situation, you’re a -“

“Steve, you can’t. You can’t make it go away because I am a girl. The world has changed so much since you crashed. Women are in combat situations all the time now. I just wasn’t prepared.” I interrupted.

“I knew a helluva lot of nurses in the war, and they were all women. It has nothing to do with a woman not being in a combat situation. I was going to say you were a med student, and shouldn’t have been out there without better training.”

“Oh. Uh, it’s called post-traumatic stress disorder now.”

“Sure. Steve’s not quite as backward and old-fashioned as you thought, is he?” He teased. I could tell he was hurt by my assumption though.

“I’m sorry.” I teared up again, and then flushed with anger. I had been fine for ages and suddenly the slightest stress and I was in crazytown again. Steve pulled me back into his arms.

“Hey, it’s okay. You are safe, and you are fine, and you will be ready next time.”

“I’m so sorry, I should have said something this morning.” I couldn’t stop the tears, but I was at least able to form words.

“What exactly would you have said? Oh, Steve, I slept poorly because I’m having nightmares, so even though I have no reason to share this immense trauma I’ve endured, I’m going to warn you that if I fall asleep on your couch, there’s a possibility I might wake up screaming? Alexandra, as far as my memory is working, it’s been about 6 months since I was fighting Hydra. I very keenly recall what shell shock looks like in soldiers, and it looks no different on you. You have nothing to apologize for.” Steve shook his head, “Now relax, and go back to sleep. You need rest. I am here.”

He gathered me back into his arms again, and rubbed my back rhythmically until I fell back to sleep. And stayed that way for the rest of the day, without another nightmare.


	8. Chapter 8

I woke up to a low rumble of amusement. I was snuggled into someone warm, an arm secure around me, and he was laughing. It felt wonderful and right and I was just about to snuggle back in when I remembered where I was, and whom I was curled into. I shot up, wiping the drool from my cheek. And slowly flushed crimson when I noticed the wet spot I’d left on Steve’s chest.

“Oh my god.” I scrambled across the couch, mortified. Steve glanced away from the TV and stopped laughing.

“Do you feel better?”

“How long have I been asleep?” I had been sprawled across most of him, from the looks of things. He was stretched out on the couch, and in my haste to move I’d only made it to his knees. I scrambled back and perched on the arm of the couch. He looked up at the clock.

“About 6 hours.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Why? You needed to sleep.” He was completely unbothered by my nap. I stared at him.

“What if you’d needed to pee or something? I had you pinned for six hours.”

“I did have to, and I moved you, and then I came back and pulled you back. You were only settled when I was holding you. I figured it was the least I could do.” He shrugged.

“Why?” It wasn’t as though he owed me anything.

“Don’t friends do that kind of thing for each other anymore?” He sat up and put what I’d come to think of as his game face on.

“Steve, you came to me and asked me to help, to listen to you, when we were both still on the helicarrier. Since then, I’ve done nothing for you. These last weeks have been all about me all the time. You feed me, you run with me –“

“You don’t think any of that was for my benefit? I came to you because I was lonely and felt out of place. Maybe our friendship would have evolved differently had we both stayed on the helicarrier, and maybe you would have just been the nurse I kept counsel with. I cook for you because I hate to eat alone. I run with you because I enjoy your company. If anyone here is selfish, it’s me.” It was probably the most he’d ever said about his feelings. I was stunned.

“I’m sorry.”

“What for now?” His brow furrowed in frustration.

“Because I keep forgetting that when you’re not Captain Fucking America, that you’re a real human being.” I was picking my cuticles again.

“Can I ask you a personal question?” He reached out and took my hands in his own to stop me.

“Okay?”

“How is your family coping with this decision you made? To join SHIELD? To leave home? You never talk about them.”

“I don’t have a family.”

“Everyone has a family.” He argued.

“My dad was killed in the line of duty when I was 16. My mum died a year later of breast cancer. My archery coach took me in until I finished high school, and then I moved into university residences until SHIELD recruited me after the Olympics.”

“I can see why you would have thought you were the only one benefiting from this friendship then. We’re equally alone. You just aren’t a walking anachronism.” His smile was sad. I wanted to cry again, and was determined not to.

“We need to run. Give me five minutes to get dressed and meet me out front.” I pushed myself off the couch and headed back to my apartment.

XXX

“I know this is highly inappropriate, but I think you should stay the night.” Steve announced as we ate pizza later that night. I dropped my pizza in shock and stared.

“What?”

“Every time I left you alone while you were sleeping, your nightmares started again. You have that exam in a couple of days. I think you should stay here, so that you get some rest.”

“I, uh, well-“

“I know. It’s totally inappropriate for me to ask you to stay the night. We don’t have a chaperone, and if we aren’t careful people will talk, but it’s for your benefit.” He was so noble. And impossibly innocent. I recovered enough to laugh uncomfortably.

“That’s not what my concern was.”

“Really? Has so much changed that no one bats an eye at a single woman staying the night at a single man’s house?”

“Actually, yeah. I know this will probably shock you, but everyone I work with thinks we’re already sleeping together.” I offered. He went pale, and then looked angry.

“I will not have people sullying your reputa-“

“Steve, it’s okay. I explained we weren’t. But yeah, the world has changed a lot since the last time you were on the dating scene. And no one would be the least bit surprised if one of us were to do the walk of shame from the other’s apartment.” I cringed and then realized I was going to have to explain what that meant. Instead of studying, I wound up giving Steve a brief history lesson in the sexual revolution, feminism and exactly how much dating had changed.

“Let me get this straight. Men and women routinely have sexual relations outside of marriage? And no one has a problem with that? What about when it’s time to get married? Don’t men want their spouses to be virgins anymore?”

“Not always? And women don’t mind if their husbands aren’t virgins either. It’s a two-way street.”

“What about you?” He asked.

“What about me?” I knew I wasn’t going to be able to deflect the uncomfortable series of questions that was going to come next.

“Are you sexually active?” He at least looked as uncomfortable as I was.

“Not currently, no.”

“But you have?”

“Tell me honestly that you’ve never been with a woman. During the war? When you were the nation’s greatest hero? You must have had women all over you. You never once did it?” I raised an eyebrow. He blushed.

“That’s not the point!”

“It is! You just asked me the exact same question, and I told you the truth!” I laughed.

“Honourable men don’t kiss and tell.” He was squirming in discomfort. Good. So was I.

“Did you love her?”

“It was during the war. I’m not proud of my actions, but we all did a lot of things just to remind ourselves we were still alive.” He squared his shoulders with the last statement, owning what he felt to be morally reprehensible behavior.

“Do you regret it?” I was curious.

“No.” He picked up another slice of pizza and we sat in silence for a few minutes. I got up and helped myself to a beer from the fridge. I was mid-swallow when I turned and looked at him.

“Why do you have beer?” I was completely confused.

“Because you drink it. If you weren’t worried about your reputation, why were you concerned about staying here tonight?”

“I was a little more worried about your reputation. Pretty much everyone thinks you’re the most innocent, naïve manchild in America.” I admitted.

“And you’re going to devour me whole?” He laughed. I couldn’t help but laugh, now that I knew he wasn’t the most innocent, naïve manchild in America.

“Only if you say please.” I winked. It was his turn to drop pizza.

XXX

Steve’s bed was much more comfortable than mine. And he was right. My sleep was utterly dreamless with him next to me. It was as though my subconscious understood he was a superhero. My conscious didn’t even believe in superheroes. But my subconscious was all about Captain America saving the day. 

Because of my epic nap during the day, I awoke in the middle of the night, feeling well rested and ready to study. I slipped down to my apartment and grabbed my study deck, and headed back up to Steve’s apartment. I made myself a cup of hot chocolate and sat at the kitchen counter reading by the light of the range hood.

Steve stumbled out in his pajama bottoms to see what I was up to at about five, and read over my shoulder for a few minutes before taking a long drink from my hot chocolate.

“You’re pretty smart.” He whispered as he leaned over my shoulder. His breath tickled my ear.

“You’re pretty.” I smiled, and patted him on the head. He chuckled.

“I’ll have you know, I am a brilliant strategist.” He tried to sound offended, but I knew he wasn’t.

“I’ll have you know, I’m very pretty.” I countered. He laughed and gave me a quick hug. He kissed the top of my head and wandered back toward the bedroom.

“Wake me up when you want to go for a run.” It was obscene the way he refused to wear a shirt to bed. Obscene and cruel. It was probably against the Geneva convention, actually. And not terribly bright strategically, unless he was aiming to get mauled by the sexually frustrated med student he insisted stay the night.


	9. Chapter 9

The day after my boards, SHIELD pulled me away for the surgery to my shoulder. I woke in the post-operative recovery room groggy and nauseated, but before I had a chance to say anything the nurse gave me something for the pain, and I drifted back to sleep. When I came to again, I thought someone was sitting beside me holding my hand, but I was too drowsy and drugged up to focus my gaze and figure out who it was. I chose instead to allow the pull of Morpheus to drag me back into unconsciousness. 

“Good evening, Dr. Richmond. How are you feeling?” The nurse asked me the next time I opened my eyes. My shoulder was killing me.

“I’m having some pain.”

“I’ll give you some more morphine, and then we’re going to transfer you to the recovery unit.” She pushed the morphine through my IV, and I drifted off again. SHIELD’s surgical centre was amazing, I realized when I awoke the next morning. The nurses were quick to assess and manage pain, and shortly after breakfast, physio came in to start my exercises. I was up walking by late afternoon, and my pain was completely under control. I was looking forward to being discharged home. I returned to my room to rest after walking a few laps of the unit and saw flowers on my bedside table. I picked up the card to see who they were from, although I suspected I already knew.

Out of town for a few days – Hope you feel better soon, Steve

I wasn’t as excited to get home once I found out he wasn’t going to be around. 

XXX

I was trying to balance my mail on the sling on my arm and close the mail slot and relock it when everything fluttered to the floor. I sighed and locked the box before bending down to pick up my mail. My recovery was taking longer than I’d anticipated, although it was going much better than I’d expected. I was regaining the strength in my shoulder, and I was no longer having any pain. I finally had to admit that the surgery was successful, I just hated being sidelined. I wasn’t able to go back to work yet, so spent the better part of every day haunting the mailbox, waiting for my board results.

I stooped over to pick up my mail, and saw that one of the letters was my results. I suddenly felt a little sick. I was scared to open it and find out what the result was. The exams had been difficult. I felt confident but they were hard work. It didn’t help that Steve had been held away on whatever assignment he was on either. I hadn’t had a single nightmare while I was in the hospital, but considering how quickly they started again once I’d been discharged, I figured there had probably been a great deal of sedation involved in my dreamless rest.

I must have been sitting on my living room floor, staring at the envelope in front of me, trying to work up the courage to open it for 2 hours when a soft knock came on my door.

“It’s open.” I called, without moving.

“Hey, I thought you might be hungry so I picked up steaks on my way ho- what are you doing, Lex?” Steve stopped short of stepping on the envelope. I looked up.

“I am starving.”

“Are those your results?” He asked.

“Are they big steaks? I feel like I could eat half a cow.” My focus had completely jumped from my marks to the bag of steak in Steve’s hand.

“Why haven’t you opened them yet?” He sat down across from me.

“Too nervous.”

“You have to open it eventually.”

“Can you?” I flicked the envelope toward him. He nodded and opened it. I could see him scanning the letter, no emotion on his face. He folded the letter back up and put it back in the envelope.

“Well?” I asked. He handed me the envelope.

“I think you need to look yourself.” He still betrayed no emotion. No smile, no frown. My stomach dropped and I pulled the letter out of the envelope and opened it slowly. A smile crept across my face.

“With distinction?” I shrieked. He leaned over and gingerly hugged me, trying to avoid my sling.

“Glad I bought steaks. Let’s celebrate.”

XXX

I returned to work only to empty my locker out. Once SHIELD had been apprised of my board results, I had been reassigned to the helicarrier clinic that I’d previously been a nurse at. I was sad to be leaving, surprisingly. Steve had, rather chivalrously, offered to help me carry my things back to the apartment, since I was still not supposed to be lifting heavy things. Erica and Jamie walked in while I was packing up.

“Hey, did you get your board results, Lexy?” Jamie asked. I nodded.

“Yep. I’ve been reassigned to my old post, but as the managing doc this time.”

“I guess all the extra time in the pit here paid off.” Erica laughed, and then saw Steve. She smiled broadly.

“Hey, Running Guy! How are you? We’ve never actually met. I’m Erica. I work with Lexy.”

“Lexy?” Steve raised an eyebrow at me. I shrugged.

“Steve, this is Erica and Jamie. They were both in my residency cohort here.” Steve leaned forward and shook both their hands.

“I’m glad you came back to get your things, Lexy. We’ve got an invite for you for the commencement party.” Jamie dug through his locker and handed it to me.

“Really?” I was surprised.

“You’re one of us now, even though you’re leaving,” he said. “It’s day after tomorrow – will you still be around?”

“Yeah, I don’t have to be at my new post until next Tuesday. I have a few follow up appointments from my surgery that I’ve got to get to.”

“So you’ll be there?” Erica demanded. I shrugged.

“Sure.”

“Bring your friend.” She ordered. Steve smiled. I finished pulling my things out of my locker and tossed them in the bag Steve was holding.

XXX

Steve knocked on my door before he came in. I was standing at the mirror, putting earrings on. He let out a low whistle.

“You look amazing.” I was wearing a black formal gown. It was fitted through the bodice but all flowy layers of organza in the skirt. And a killer pair of black heels. My hair was loose and curled. I actually did look amazing. I turned to thank him and lost my breath.

“You clean up good, soldier.” He was in a black suit that was tailored perfectly to his broad shoulders. He smiled.

“It was a toss up between this and jeans.” He teased. I couldn’t help myself, I had to touch him. I smoothed the lapels of his jacket, and fixed his pocket square. He helped me adjust my sling before we hailed a taxi.

The party was much more crowded than I’d expected. It seemed as though every doctor at the hospital was there, as well as the residency cohort, and their families. I was once again very happy to have been humbled by Jamie’s reproach those few weeks ago in the locker room, as I felt not only like I deserved to be there, but that I also belonged there with my colleagues. The chief attending approached.

“I understand congratulations are in order, Dr. Richmond. Passing with distinction is no mean feat. To have done so after the break you took is even more commendable.” He shook my hand.

“Thank you, Dr. Jameson. I credit this program entirely. The attendings were fantastic, and the cohort was very supportive. You run an awesome program. Thank you for making the space for me.” 

“I know you are headed on to more exciting things, but I do hope that you will remember us, should you need a place in the future. Now, introduce me,” he turned to Steve, “Are you Alexandra’s husband?” Steve had just taken a swallow of his drink and promptly choked. I laughed and rubbed his back.

“No, Dr. Jameson, this is Captain Steve Rogers. He and I work together.” I explained.

“I’m sorry, son. You look so at ease with one another. I assumed.” Dr. Jameson laughed. Steve recovered and shook Dr. Jameson’s hand when he offered it.

“No apology needed, sir. Lex and I are close friends.” The admission warmed my heart. Dr. Jameson excused himself to go speak to another colleague. We slowly made our way around the party so I could make my goodbyes to my cohort, and wound up near the dance floor. Steve smiled as the band played a slow song that we both instantly recognized. It was the Glenn Miller song he’d been humming the first night he made dinner for me.

“Would you like to dance?” I asked. He blushed.

“I never learned how.” He admitted. I pointed to the other couples.

“Look at them. They never did either.” I laughed. He raised an eyebrow and led me out onto the dance floor. I settled into his arms and as he confidently took the lead realized that not learning to dance mean something different in the 40s than it did now. His hand was strong against my back.

“Thank you for inviting me tonight, Lex. Or should I call you Lexy? Your classmates all seem to.” He teased. I rolled my eyes.

“I appreciate you coming with me.” I carefully ignored the inquiry about my name. We passed the rest of the song in silence. My shoulder was starting to ache and Steve took that as the cue to collect our coats and hail a cab. He walked me to my door and stopped.

“You’re off to your new post tomorrow?” He asked.

“I am.”

“I am going to miss our runs.” He looked at his feet before looking me in the eye. His eyes were impossibly blue. And sad.

“I’m going to miss you. Is it bad that I hope something goes horribly wrong so that you are needed on the helicarrier really soon?” I laughed weakly. He smiled.

“Maybe a little bad. Are you actually on duty tomorrow?”

“No, it’s a travel day.” All I was going to be required to do was make it to the helicopter that would take me to the helicarrier and check into my bunk.

“I have popcorn.” He stated. 

“Help me unzip and I’ll get changed and meet you upstairs in 20 minutes.” I laughed. He stepped inside my apartment and helped me out of my coat. He slipped my sling over my head and then turned me around and unzipped the top of my dress for me before heading up to his place. I put my pajamas on, brushed my hair, washed my face and unpacked my slippers. 

His apartment already smelled like popcorn by the time I got up there. He was flopped out on the couch with a bowl in his lap in a pair of plaid pajama bottoms and a SHIELD t-shirt. He patted the spot beside him on the couch, and slung his arm around my shoulder when I tucked in beside him. 

“I upgraded the sound system a few days ago, so I thought we should test drive it before you go.” He pointed the remote at the screen and the opening credits of Top Gun flashed on the screen. I laughed and grabbed a handful of popcorn. 

I was so used to sleeping at Steve’s that it came as no surprise that when I awoke in the morning, we were tangled up together on the couch still. The TV had put itself to sleep at some point, and the DVD symbol was bouncing around the screen. I disentangled myself from Steve and headed to the kitchen to make coffee. His head popped up a few minutes later.

“How soon do you need to head out to your flight?” He rubbed his eyes and yawned. I looked at the clock on the microwave.

“About two hours.” I poured us both cups and brought them to the couch. We sat in silence for a few minutes. Steve suddenly stood, taking me off guard.

“I’m going for a shower. I’ll come with you to the helipad.” He decided and headed to the bathroom. I nipped down to my apartment to shower and dress. He was still in the shower when I got back up, so I thought I would surprise him with breakfast. 

“Something smells amazing.” He wandered out of the bathroom with the skimpiest towel I’ve ever seen wrapped around his hips. He looked like a god. A wet, drippy, water beading across his chest like a trashy romance novel god. I stopped dead and took it in, in a highly unprofessional manner. When I realized I was staring, I turned back to the frying pan and blushed.

“Uh, could you go put some clothes on?” I asked, without turning back to face him again. He laughed.

“Weren’t we at a party last night celebrating you becoming a full-fledged doctor?” He teased.

“We’ve covered that you’re really pretty before, Steve. Please put some clothes on.”

“You may have mentioned it once or twice.” He laughed and from the corner of my eye, I could see he’d made no move to go get dressed. In fact, he was walking closer to me.

“It’s just a little awkward to see you naked.”

“This is my last chance to torment you for a while, Lex. Let me have it.” He wrapped his arms around me and rested his head on my shoulder. While still only wearing a towel. I turned in his arms.

“Steve, you are my best friend. But if you don’t put on some clothes, right fucking now, I will not be responsible for what happens next.” I kept my voice calm and steady, and kept my eyes on his. He quirked an eyebrow and made no move to let go of me. I bit my cheek.

“Really?” He dared me. He actually dared me. I put my hands on either side of his face and brought it down to mine and planted a chaste kiss right on his mouth. His arms dropped from around me, and he carefully pushed me away, and just stared at me. My hand dropped to my mouth and I cringed. He shook his head, took my hand in his and leaned back in to kiss me. It was tentative, and gentle, and the minute I responded just so so much more. He pushed me against the counter and I wrapped my good arm around the back of his neck and for about thirty seconds I forgot that I was leaving and he was staying and that he was my closest friend and that I didn’t want that destroyed and I just gave in to all the pent-up frustration and lust I’d been feeling since I first met him. And it was the most incredible kiss I’d ever had. And then the fog in my brain cleared and I panicked and pushed him away. 

“Oh God, Steve, I am so sorry!” I cried and ran out of his apartment. I flew through my own apartment, got dressed, and threw the last of my things into the duffel I was taking with me. I ran out into the street and jumped into the first cab I saw. I gave the cabbie the address and burst into tears. I had ruined everything.


	10. Chapter 10

“Lady, there’s a guy in a towel running after us. Should I stop?” The cabbie asked me. I swung around to look out the window, and sure enough, there was Steve, barreling after us. I hoped he wouldn’t catch up. Not something you would need to hope for with any other man.

“No. Please just go.” I reached into my purse for a tissue and wiped my eyes. I mentally beat myself up for the entire drive to the helipad. What had I been thinking, kissing him like that? What would he be thinking of me? I felt as though I had touched a torch to a pyre with our friendship strapped to the top of it. We finally arrived and I paid the cabbie before checking in with the pilot.

“You are early, ma’am. Can I offer you a cup of coffee?” He asked. I nodded and accepted the cup. He turned back to his computer, printed a page and looked back to me.

“Looks like you are the only passenger on my manifest and we are cleared to depart if you want to get going now.” He offered. I leapt at the chance. If Steve was willing to run down the street wearing nothing but a towel, who was to say he wouldn’t try to follow me all the way to the helipad? I strapped myself in and waited for the pilot to get clearance. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket but ignored it. I was sure it was Steve and I had just stopped crying. I didn’t exactly want to have to explain why I was bawling to the pilot if I started again. We left New York behind moments later, and popped through the clouds into a beautiful clear morning sky.

“If you look out the window on your right, you can see the helicarrier in the distance.” The pilot pointed out to the horizon, “We’ll be about 45 minutes.” My phone vibrated in my pocket again. I was suddenly grateful that I wasn’t allowed to use it while we were in the air. By the time we landed on the helicarrier deck, I’d counted 16 messages based on the vibrations against my leg. I shook the pilot’s hand and checked in on the deck before heading to the infirmary. I signed in to change my location and collected my duty package from the staff files. My room assignment and key were in it. And since I had the rest of the day to acclimate, I headed to my bunk without another thought.

Once I was in my room, I checked my phone. I was up to 33 unanswered texts and 4 phone calls. I sat on my bunk and took a deep breath. I didn’t want to be a coward, and I knew I was going to have to face it eventually. And with a significant amount of air space between us, I figured I may as well face up to him sooner rather than later. I scrolled to the start of the texts and read through them quickly. He was obviously more worried than angry based on the tone of the messages. I dialed into my voice mail.

“Lex, I’m sure you realize this is Steve. I suspect that’s why you didn’t answer. We have to talk about what happened. I know you don’t want to, but we do. Call me back.” I deleted it, and moved on to the next message.

“Okay, you don’t seem to be viewing your text messages either. Are you okay?” He hadn’t left messages with the other two calls, but my call display showed it was him. While I stared at my phone, trying to figure out what to say, his picture popped up on the screen and it started ringing. I answered.

“I’m sorry I didn’t answer sooner. I was on the helicopter to the carrier.” I didn’t say hello.

“You’re there now?” He asked.

“Yeah, just settling into my bunk.”

“In your haste to get away from me, you left your slippers and sling.” He sounded hurt.

“I wasn’t trying to get away from you, Steve.”

“Really? Because shoving me away and then disappearing in a cab made me feel you were.” He was definitely hurt.

“I’m sorry.” I was barely keeping my voice from breaking.

“You keep saying that.”

“Because I don’t know what else to say.”

“We need to sit down and talk about this.”

“I agree. But you are still in the city.”

“If you hadn’t run away, maybe we could have sorted this out.”

“I’m sorry.” The tears started falling again.

“Please stop apologizing. We can’t just leave things like this.”

“What else can we do, Steve? I’m going to be here for at least six months. You are being called away on assignments now. When are we going to get a chance to talk this out?”

“You said I was your best friend, so hear me out. What happened this morning doesn’t change any of that. It just happened. It’s my fault anyhow, I should be the one apologizing.”

“It’s not-“

“It is. I was giving you a hard time, I knew exactly what was going to happen, and I let it happen anyhow. It wasn’t fair to you. Now, I’ve spent most of my life thinking I was a pretty decent man, and I would like to think that hasn’t changed. We have to talk about this, but you’re right, we can’t do it over the phone. So here’s what I propose. Let’s forget about it for now, and we’ll stick with our original plan, where we email and talk and stay friends. The next time we can see each other in person, we’ll have a conversation about what happened and figure things out.” He was almost pleading. I sniffled and my voice caught in my throat.

“I just-“

“Don’t cry when I can’t be there to catch the tears, Lex.” He sounded pained.

“We’re truly okay?” I asked.

“Of course we are. Just… Don’t ever run away like that again.” 

“I promise.”

“I’ve already lost one girl I care about, Lex. I won’t have it happen again.” He said. I blinked away the tears and nodded, even though he couldn’t see me. Neither of us said anything for a few minutes. It was painful, not even close the usual companionable silences we shared. 

“I’ll send you an email when I’m more settled.” I finally said. He sighed.

“You’re my best friend too, Lex. Good night.” He hung up. I indulged in a good self-pitying cry and then took a nap. I awoke to pounding on my door and my name being called by a familiar voice. I pulled open the door to Jack.

“Good, you’re back. We need to get you back in shape.” He handed me a training schedule and walked away.

XXX

I was flat on my back on the gym mats by 0600 the next morning. 

“You weren’t even gone three months. How do you already suck so badly?” Jackson pulled me to my feet. I winced at the pain in my shoulder. It was healed enough that it didn’t hurt during regular activity. It hurt like hell when I landed on it or tried to throw people with it.

“It was a trade off.” I rubbed the scar, hoping the ache would go away. It didn’t.

“Did you do anything remotely physical while you were on the ground?” He asked. I nodded and reset my stance.

“Yeah, I ran 5k twice a day.”

“We’ll do an endurance test this afternoon then. See where you’re at. I’ve been in touch with Romanoff. She’s going to help you with your hand-to-hand again. It should be on your schedule. She’s on and off the boat a lot, so on days when she’s not around, you’ll be stuck with me, but I figure even a couple days a month with her will improve you.” He threw a punch at me, and I blocked it and swept his foot out from under him. He still somehow managed to pull me down and pin me.

“Don’t forget that I have an infirmary to run.”

“Fury wants all SHIELD employees to be able to pass field competency testing.” He got up and tossed a towel at me. I wiped my face and scowled. I understood the motivation, but honestly. After going from the triumph of finishing med school with distinction, returning to being the most inept and defenseless loser on the helicarrier was almost too much. I headed to the locker room and was peeling off my sweaty work out wear when I thought I heard Steve. Shaking my head, I continued into the showers. I was obviously not going to get over the embarrassment of kissing him easily, if I was hearing his voice in my head.

When I walked back out into the gym, I stopped dead in my tracks. It had been Steve. He was standing on the mats talking to Jackson. When he saw me, he smiled.

“I was looking for you.” He walked toward me and swept me up in a huge hug.

“I thought we were going to email.” I didn’t know what else to say.

“Fury tracked me down last night and told me to be here today.”

“Fury wanted us to talk this out?” I was puzzled and mortified. It’s not like I was in high school. Steve laughed.

“No, something about project that went badly, and a facility got blown up. He wants us to look into it.” He drew me away from Jack and toward the door.

“Us?” We walked out into the hall and toward my bunk.

“Stark, myself, a Dr. Banner, Agent Romanoff.”

“Ah.” I stopped at the door, hesitant.

“But right now is about us talking.” He looked over my shoulder at the door to my bunk expectantly.

“Right.” I opened the door and we both entered. He sat on the bed. I leaned against my desk, not quite comfortable enough to sit beside him.

“I owe you an apology, Alexandra. I was out of line yesterday. I’d been feeling at loose ends and after we’d talked about how different dating is now, I just. I don’t know. I guess my curiosity got the better of me, and I needed to know.”

“Needed to know what?”

“If men and women can balance friendship without this modern attitude about sex getting in the way.”

“So you pushed to see if I would what? Jump you? You’re right, you do owe me an apology.” I was angry. I was not a science experiment. Steve jumped up.

“No, that’s now how I meant it. Lex, you’ve been so honest with me, and so helpful. I don’t feel like I’m in the wrong place when I’m with you. But everything is so different now; I thought we must just be friends. But in being honest with me, you’ve said a few times that you find me attractive. And I just thought, you know, if I’m ever going to join this century, you’re the woman I’d want to spend time with.” He sounded unsure of himself. It wasn’t something I was used to.

“I don’t understand.” I furrowed my brow.

“Wow. Uh, this is a lot more uncomfortable than I thought it would be.”

“You don’t know the half of it.” I laughed awkwardly. 

“You know, I’m more a man of action than a man of words.” He laughed, and then pulled me into his arms. I leaned into his embrace, finally reassured that I hadn’t blown our friendship. He pulled back and looked down at me. And kissed me again. So thoroughly that I thought my toes would curl.

“Oh.” I couldn’t think of what else to say.

“I have nothing to offer you. I have no idea how I’m ever going to really fit in to this world. I don’t know how much we’ll see each other, I don’t know how we could ever make whatever the hell it is that we are work. But I don’t feel out of place with you.”

“Oh.” My mind was spinning, “so what you’re saying is-“ He interrupted by kissing me again. And then he proved that he really wasn’t the most naïve, innocent man-child in the world.


	11. Chapter 11

I had hoped that life aboard the helicarrier would settled into the same routine as it had my previous deployment, perhaps with the exception of all the tetanus shots. It wasn’t to be. Something was up. My security clearance wasn’t high enough to be privy to all the details, and Steve wouldn’t offer any information, but the rumours got back to all of us that the facility that had blown up had not been an accident, but an attack. By an alien. And something had happened to Barton. Romanoff had been cold and aggressive in training that morning. I could tell she was upset about her friend, but we weren’t close enough for me to ask questions. Instead I focused on the lesson of the day and if she was maybe a little to rough with me, I knew it wasn’t personal.

“You should ice your shoulder this afternoon. It’s swelling.” She tossed a towel at me, and hit the locker room. I sighed and got on the treadmill instead.

The comm channel in the gym opened about 2km into my run.

“Richmond, we need you to assess a prisoner. Report to the bridge.” I hopped off the treadmill and took a quick shower before heading to the infirmary for my kit. When I got to the bridge, the motley assembly was seated around a strategic operations computer. I could have been a giant table top version of PacMan. I really didn’t know. Tony Stark, Steve, and Romanoff were there, but there was also another guy who looked so unassuming I could only guess that he must be Dr. Banner because there was also a guy with armour and a red cape sitting there, who I recognized from New Mexico. Coulson saw me and headed my way.

“Dr. Richmond, I think you’ve met Agent Romanoff and Captain Rogers before. This is Tony Stark, Dr. Bruce Banner and Thor. Dr. Richmond is our chief medical officer on the helicarrier. She’ll be doing the medical investigation on the prisoner.” Coulson introduced me. Steve winked at me, which did not go unnoticed by Tony Stark. My gaze was drawn to the guy with the cape, and then back to Coulson.

“Thor?” I asked. “You mean, god-of-thunder-Thor?” Coulson nodded. I was just about to ask about the hammer, and spotted it sitting at his feet. Okay then. Fury approached and handed me some papers.

“You’ll need to follow protocol six. You are familiar with it?” He said. Protocol six was the ‘Physical Assessment of Norse Deities.’ I raised an eyebrow and glanced back at Thor. He didn’t look much like a prisoner.

“Sir?” 

“Not Thor. I’ll have you escorted down to containment.” He turned away to call an agent to escort me. Steve stood and approached me. He leaned down and whispered something in my ear, I think hoping no one would notice, but Stark had been watching us since the wink, and I think was determined to find out what was up. He didn’t seem malicious, but more interested in what knowledge he could gain that would be useful later when he needed to make a joke. The few times I’d encountered Tony Stark, he’d struck me as having a wicked sense of humour. He raised his hand like a little kid who needed to be excused to the bathroom. Fury turned back to the table and sighed.

“Yes, Stark?”

“Uh, I think I just heard Captain America say something to the lady doctor about panties. Do we all get to see the lady doctor’s panties? She’s kind of cute.” I could feel my face colour instantly, and shot Steve a dark look. He at least had the courtesy to also blush. I found my escort and left the bridge. As we headed to the containment cells, I flipped through the paperwork Fury had handed me. Thor’s brother, Loki. That’s who I was supposed to be assessing. The containment bay doors opened, and I saw him standing calmly in the middle of a glass cell that was suspended in the middle of the room. The agent pushed a few buttons on the console and spoke.

“This is Dr. Richmond. She is going to assess you.”

“I’m afraid my body is a bit beyond Midgardian medicine.” Loki sneered. I rolled my eyes. Despite knowing he wasn’t, he still seemed pretty human to me. He had the look of a misunderstood poet to him, with his leather pants and dark hair. Pale, like he had an iron deficiency, but tall, so he couldn’t have been malnourished for long. The total package was pleasing. Handsome even, in a regal and elegant way. He definitely had the look of a prince to him, and I realized if he was Thor’s brother, he was one. The agent pushed a few more buttons on the console and dropped the barrier so I could enter. It hissed shut as soon as I was in the room. Yeah, that wasn’t unnerving at all. 

“We have a protocol for that.”

“For Asgardians? I’m afraid that won’t help you either. I’m Jotun.” He informed me. 

“I fail to see how that changes things.”

“I’m sure your protocol was developed after my brother was imprisoned here. We’re not the same.” The way he said protocol was oozing disdain. 

“Regardless, I need to assess you.” I looked around the cell. The least they could have done was given me a table and chair, but the room was empty. I turned back to the agent who’d escorted me.

“I either need to take him to the infirmary, or you need to get me some furniture in this room.” The agent nodded and turned away. I’m sure he was having quite the conversation with Fury. He turned back and dropped the barrier.

“Fury said to escort you to the infirmary,” He put a set of shackles on Loki. I didn’t think it would stop him if he actually wanted to escape. The infirmary was cleared and put on lockdown, which probably would have done more to contain Loki if required. But he didn’t seem to want to go anywhere. I pointed at an exam table.

“Hop up, and remove your… is that armour or a coat? I need your arm bare, please.” I collected my blood draw supplies. He raised an eyebrow but complied. He leaned against the exam table and watched me, in unsettling silence. I prepped his arm, applied the tourniquet and slipped the needle into the vein. I filled the six vials needed for the protocol bloodwork, and a seventh just to be safe. Loki chuckled when I put the bandaid on the insertion site. He was looking at the blood vials. They all had frost on them, and the blood was crystalline inside them.

“Jotun.” I breathed, with sudden realization. “Of course, frost giant. You’re kinda short for a giant, aren’t you?” At least, I thought he must be short for a giant. He was definitely over six feet tall, but just. It didn’t seem very giant to me.

“I’m large where it counts, human.” He smirked. I tried to contain a laugh but couldn’t. It came out more like a snort, which would have been mortifying in any other circumstance. But because I wasn’t trying to impress him, it wasn’t the least bit bothersome to me.

“I’m sorry, were you trying to be seductive?” I met his eyes. Against the stark contrast of his pale skin, they were like ice. And intense. Everything about him was intense really. The way he stood just a bit too close, so he could look down on me, the way he held himself like he was better. He suddenly broke into a broad smile. I turned away to finish labeling the vials, and grab my stethoscope.

“Goodness, you’re the super soldier’s woman.” He stepped even closer. I placed my hand on his chest and pushed him back. When I looked up, I was looking at Steve. I shrieked and dropped my stethoscope. I pushed him back into the exam table.

“Stop crowding me.”

“Perhaps my charms will be more successful if I stay like this?” He smiled. It was weird hearing Loki’s voice coming out of Steve’s body. I ignored him and reached into his shirt to listen to his heart. I looked up at the clock while listening and when I looked back, thankfully he’d changed back into himself.

“That’s an interesting talent. Does it change your physiology, or is it just an illusion?” I asked. He tilted his head to one side slightly and smiled more genuinely, with less menace.

“It’s an illusion. You’re perceptive.”

“And can you actually read minds, or are you just perceptive?” I questioned. He didn’t answer. I continued with his vital signs, taking a blood pressure and temperature. Physiologically, so far, he seemed no different than a regular human. I said as much and he scowled.

“I will live 50 times longer than you. I can endure a beating that would kill a mere mortal. I have stamina and endurance that you could only wish for.” He spat. It was my turn to raise an eyebrow.

“I somehow suspect asking you to run on the treadmill to prove it would be beneath you. Remove your shirt and stand with your arms spread please.” I scribbled some notes in the chart. I had to hand it to him, he was compliant. He obviously felt he was just humouring me. Or was so arrogant that he thought I was enjoying the view. I mean, he wouldn’t really be wrong. He did have a kind of bad boy appeal to him. I would probably have been enjoying the view a lot more before Steve came into my life. 

“Tell me, doctor. Is my temperature normal?” He asked. I looked at the note I’d made and nodded, “You should check again.” I picked up the thermometer and did as he’d asked. His temperature had dropped to hypothermic levels. Or what would be hypothermic in a human.

“Can you do that whenever you want?” I asked.

“Frost giant.” He answered, and showed his true form to me. His skin was blue and his eyes had turned red. I was completely intrigued and overflowed with questions for him.

“Your other look, is that an illusion too? Other than the external physiology, are you different in this form? Are those scars or are the ridges normal?” I ran my hand across the marks on his chest, and my fingertips froze. If it was possible to be giddy with discovery, I was. Suddenly, he was no longer the surly prisoner, but a puzzle. Well, he was still the surly prisoner, but the puzzle was more interesting. He shifted back to his Asgardian form and there was a flash of sadness in his eyes. It was quickly replaced by indifference.

“I could not tell you. I was raised in Asgard, and have no more knowledge about what’s inside of me than you do. As to the ridges, no, they are just part of what you called my external physiology.”

“Do you want to find out?”

“Find out what?” He asked.

“What’s inside of you,” I pointed at the MRI at the end of the infirmary, “we can look with that.” He looked curious and for a moment I thought he was going to allow it. But almost as though he remembered something, he suddenly shut down and went back to scowling at me.

“I have no use for your Midgardian quackery. We are finished.” He pulled his clothes back on and completely closed himself to me. It felt as though he had slapped me and I hoped it didn’t show on my face. I regained my composure and closed his chart.

“We are.” I agreed. He stepped in that hair too close again and looked down at me.

“I wonder how your captain would feel about how eager you were to disrobe and examine me.” He whispered. I closed my eyes and shook my head.

“Loki, you are a medical curiosity and I am a physician.”

“But I am also a man. And you are, at your essence, a warm-blooded woman.” He stalked away from me over to the agent who’d been stationed inside the infirmary and offered his hands for the shackles. And that quickly, he was gone.


	12. Chapter 12

I was in the process of finishing my assessment of Loki. I was just printing out the lab values, and I figured I would be done at that point. It was a fairly inconclusive report, but short of an MRI or dissecting him, I wasn’t going to get any more information on him. Steve had popped into the infirmary to say hi and plant a kiss on my cheek ‘just because’, but I could tell he was angry about something. I was settling in to let it worry me, and then realized I just couldn’t buy trouble. Particularly the kind of trouble that Captain Goddamn America could find. I saved the report and attached it to an email to the director, and printed a copy for the infirmary records as well. The afternoon was winding down, and I thought that I could probably let a couple of the nurses go early and cover for them until the next shift arrived. I was due to go off-duty and on-call at 1700, just shortly after shift change.

“Emergency Response Team to Containment Stat.” An announcement boomed into the infirmary, shaking me out of my woolgathering. I looked up at the speaker, as if it would actually give me more info. My cell phone started ringing. I looked down and saw the same message flashing across the screen.

“Okay, Derek, grab your kit, let’s go!” I called to the nurse at the desk, “Protocol 2, Jane. Get the blood bank open.” I called back in to the remaining nurse as Derek and I ran out the door. The helicarrier has multiple floors. And in an emergency, you can’t be standing around waiting for elevators. We ran 6 flights of stairs, across part of the ship, back up 2 flights and past a couple of bulkheads before we made it to containment. It had been less than a minute from the time we were called. I ran in and the first thing I saw was that Loki was gone from the cell. Actually, the entire cell was gone. An agent pointed to my left, and I turned and saw Coulson on the floor, hand on his chest, blood pouring out of him. He was unconscious. There was some kind of comic book gun on the floor beside him. I skidded across the floor on my knees toward him, tearing the Velcro closure of my med kit open. I grabbed a dressing and slammed it onto his chest.

“Get Coulson’s chart out, make sure we have his blood ready! Get all hands in the infirmary, prep for code!” I called over my shoulder to the agent hovering over me. Derek finished sealing the dressing, and we rolled him onto his back to seal the entry wound as well. I checked his pulse. It was barely there.

“We need to get back to the infirmary!” I yelled. A fold down gurney was suddenly beside us. I held my stethoscope to Coulson’s chest. His pulse was slow, and thready. And decreasing. And then I didn’t have it at all. We pulled him onto the gurney and I climbed on top of him and started compressions. Derek put the ambubag on his face and started forcing air into him. The agents on hand picked up the gurney and ran us to the infirmary. I was covered in blood, and the dressing, even though it was occlusive, wasn’t going to hold. Jane met us at the door and took over the compressions, while I jumped off the gurney and ran to the crash cart and pulled the supplies for an IV. I dropped a line into his antecubital for blood and then dropped 2 more lines into him for fluids and meds. Another nurse ran in with her arms filled with blood bags. I punched a bag and threw it into the rapid infuser. We moved Coulson over to a gurney that had a sterile drape thrown across it.

“Maxine, make sure that thing doesn’t run dry. He’s got a shitload of damage in here, he’s going to need everything we’ve got.” I directed another nurse to start code meds, and grabbed a surgery tray. There was a part of my brain that felt like it had separated from the rest of me, and was listening to the nurse and ordering meds. The rest of my brain was prepping for emergency surgery. A nurse’s aide pulled a sterile gown on me and tied a mask on, as I dug for sutures and a scalpel. 

I took a step back from him and watched, just for a few seconds. Long enough to catch my breath and ratchet down the rising panic. 

“It’s a stab wound. It’s a stab wound.” I repeated to myself over and over. It was the first time I’d ever worked on someone I knew and liked, and that was throwing me. I pulled the dressing off his chest and called for suction. We cleared the pooled blood and I took a look. He was a mess.

“Clear!” I backed away so that Derek could use the defibrillator. Coulson’s body bounced up. I looked at the monitor and was astonished to see a weak pulse.

“Okay, I need sterile hands over here. Derek, vent him.” I got to work. Whatever he’d been stabbed with had missed his heart, but it had severed the aorta. And I was not a cardiologist.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!” I yelled. I called for the finest sutures we had and started to repair the vessel. I probably put more sutures in than I should have, but I wasn’t sure it was going to hold. I called for more suction and was relieved to see my work was holding. I checked the other structures around the heart, double checked the heart and started closing the wound. We rolled him and sutured the entry wound up as well. I kept one eye on the monitor the whole time. His blood pressure was just barely there, his pulse was still weak. I had done everything I was capable of doing. I dressed the wounds and pulled off my mask and gloves. The nurse’s aide undid my gown. I was covered in blood. I didn’t think it would ever wash off. 

“Infuse 2 more units on the rapid infuser and then decrease to standard.” I rubbed the back of my hand across my forehead, and took a deep breath. A hand turned me around, and I was face to face with Fury.

“Will he live?”

“You have to get him off this boat. He is in critical condition, and I don’t know that he’s going to make it. He needs a cardiothoracic surgeon to go back in and fix the damage.”

“Didn’t you just fix the damage?”

“I’m not a fucking heart surgeon, Fury! I put a fucking bandaid on it. Like putting duct tape on a crack in a dam. Get him off this fucking boat and get him to a critical care facility!” I yelled. To his credit, Fury didn’t react. He turned to one of the agent that was standing by.

“You heard the doctor, prepare to transport.” I secured Coulson to the gurney, and connected him to a portable monitor.

“I hope you’ll reconsider my request for an additional doctor on staff now, Director Fury.” I said as I followed Coulson to the deck.


	13. Chapter 13

I returned to the helicarrier as soon as I’d given report on Coulson. When we flew off it, there was smoke billowing from around one of the turbines and there was debris all over the deck. The carrier had internal stabilization to such a degree that I hadn’t realized we were in any trouble at all. 

On the return trip, I made sure to look more closely at the damage. We were lucky to still be in the air. Fury met me in the infirmary to debrief me.

“How was he?” He demanded. I took a deep breath.

“He flatlined during transport. We wheeled him in with me doing compressions, and they took him immediately to the OR. I don’t know.” I looked down at myself, and tugged at my scrubs. They were beginning to stick to me, as the blood dried. So much blood. I just wanted a shower.

“We have a lot of wounded from the attack. Are you fit?” He asked. I nodded grabbed the clipboard off the desk. Thankfully, it was all minor wounds. 

“Not a problem, sir.”

“We’ll have sit-down about medical needs when this settles. In the meantime, there are two doctors inbound from the Hub. They’ll be here by nightfall.” He put his hand on my shoulder; “You acquitted yourself like a veteran, Richmond.”

I walked away to see patients, and didn’t let my mind wander from my task for what felt like hours. I finally had a chance to sit down and relax, and I took it, absently thinking I should probably also go take a shower and clean up. My scrubs were completely stiff. Steve strode into the infirmary, in his Captain America uniform. He had a cut over his eyebrow. I hopped up, but before I could run to him, he held his hand up to stop me.

“It’s nothing, Lex. Just a scratch. Are you okay?” He looked around the infirmary as though he was struggling with a decision and then pulled me into his arms. I bit back the tears that had been threatening since I’d returned to my post.

“I’ll be fine. This isn’t my blood.” I buried my face in his chest and held him tight. He squeezed me in response, and looked down at me. 

“Coulson.” He said. I nodded. He shook his head, and looked pained. I reached up and touched his face, traced my fingers along his jaw, and then touched the scratch on his forehead. He winced just enough that I pushed him into a seat and cleaned it up. He gave me a brief rundown on what had happened while I put liquid stitches on the wound, which was much deeper than he’d led me to believe.

“I gotta go.” He rose from the chair. I nodded. He pulled me close again and kissed me. It felt like goodbye.

“Don’t you dare kiss me like that and walk out the door.” I said as I pulled away, “You are Captain Motherfucking America, Steve. Whatever it is you are going to face, you will be back.” I pulled him back to me, and kissed him with the promise of after. He laughed suddenly, breaking our mouths apart.

“You have such a dirty mouth, Lex.” He bit my lower lip and then stood up straight, “Yes, I will be back. Be safe, stay put. It pains me, but trust Fury.” He turned and strode out of the room. I checked in with the nurses and then excused myself for a shower.

When I returned to the infirmary, the new doctors were on deck, and lounging at the desk, talking with the nurses. There was only one person awaiting treatment, so I waved to the new arrivals and saw to the final patient before checking them into the duty roster. They all stood quickly as I approached the desk

“Hi. I’m Dr. Alexandra Richmond. I’m the chief medical officer.” I shook the three doctor’s hands, “I was only expecting two of you.” A short balding guy in a lab coat, who’d introduced himself as Dr. Carson, cleared his throat.

“Fury changed his mind. He asked us to give you this.” He handed over a memo with directions for disaster planning. It was very detailed, and outlined exactly what his expectations of the three new doctors were. Including naming Dr. Carson as the chief medical officer. Which was my job. I furrowed my brow at the last line and looked to Dr. Carson for an explanation.

“You’re to report to the bridge for orders, Dr. Richmond.” He offered. 

Fury was standing looking out the window at a departing quinjet when I walked on the bridge.

“Sir.” I said, and waited for him. He turned toward me and nodded toward a chair. I sat.

“Coulson didn’t make it.” He said it quietly. I felt the air rush out of me, like I’d been punched in the gut. I bit back tears. I’d lost patients before. But I’d never lost someone I knew. Someone I’d spent time with, learned from, respected. Fury put his hand on my shoulder.

“We need you on the ground. Loki is planning on unleashing hell on the city, and there’s going to be a lot of casualties. I’ve contacted Midtown General, and they’ve agreed clear as many beds as they can. They want you to run the ER. It will be our medical command centre.” He explained. I nodded, mutely.

“This is completely off the books. The Avengers deployed on their own to manage this risk. SHIELD is just setting up a response team for the potential injuries.”

“I don’t understand.”

“The Council didn’t approve the Avengers Initiative. They don’t want SHIELD involved. You’re leaving in 30 minutes.” He dismissed me, and handed me an envelope, “This has all the protocols you’ll need to set up medical command at Midtown General.”

I was almost at the door when I stopped and turned back to Director Fury.

“Sir? Why me?” I asked. I was a brand new doctor. He smiled.

“You are field tested for much worse.” He meant New Mexico. I hoped he was right.

XXX

The SHIELD medical corp follows the same general uniform guidelines as the rest of SHIELD, so I was exceptionally obvious in my black scrubs as I walked into Midtown General. They were more fitted than the average scrubs as well, something that had been explained to me as making them more responsive to the needs of fieldwork. I thought that was bullshit, but I did notice I wasn’t constantly pulling at my neckline to make sure my chest was covered, which had been a huge issue in my scrubs during residency. At any rate, I stood out like a sore thumb walking into the ER. 

True to their word, Midtown had cleared as many beds as they could. The ER was deserted. Staff were hustling around setting up triage stations and supply carts. Erica waved me over to the desk.

“Dr. Jameson said to give you the floor.” She hugged me in welcome.

“Thank you, Dr. Smith. I don’t know what we should be expecting, bu-“ The sound of something exploding interrupted me. The room shook, lights flickering, dust shaking loose from the ceiling tiles. We both ran toward the door.

“What the fuck?” There was some sort of hole in the sky above Stark Tower, and there was something flying out of it.

“Is that Iron Man?” Erica pointed at a red blur in the sky. Whatever it was flying out of the hole in the sky started to blow up.

“If shit is exploding, that has to be Stark.” We both stood riveted to the spot. A nurse approached me.

“Dr. Richmond, is there anything you need us to prep?” She asked. I shook my head without looking away from the sky.

“Nope. Just be ready for lots of patients. Make sure distribution is ahead of the game on supplies.” It was absolute, sudden, extreme pandemonium outside. Erica and I just kept watching. The aliens were starting down the streets on their flying chariot things, and they were shooting laser beams out of their weapons. It was unimaginable.

“Oh, this is so much worse than New Mexico.” I mumbled under my breath. Erica grabbed my arm.

“What the fuck is that?” She shrieked and pointed to the sky. I looked back toward Stark Tower, where a giant, armoured, flying snake had emerged from the rift in the sky. It flicked its tail and took the top off a building just a few blocks away from us. 

“Holy shit.” I breathed. The flying snake kept whipping its tail, and taking out floors of buildings, leaving rubble and debris everywhere. A huge piece of the wall of a building crashed down into the ambulance bay. Erica and I jumped back.

“We’re never going to get people in here.” She said. She was still clutching my arm. I pulled her back inside the ER and ran to the nurse’s station. I pulled open the envelope and scanned the list of contacts Fury had given me. I grabbed a phone and started making phone calls, and scribbling notes down on a scrap of paper. We had a plan. I called over the staff and got the head nurse to page all available doctors down to the ER. I climbed up onto the desk so everyone could hear me.

“Okay, here’s what’s going to happen. There’s half a building in our ambulance bay, and we’re the nearest hospital to what’s happening outside. Whenever victims are stable enough, the fire department is going to transport them out of the area to another hospital. Emergent cases are going to come to us. I want the three trauma bays made sterile, stat. We’re going to send three teams out into the street to start sending walking injured in, what’s left of our bay will be the central pick up for ambulances. The three outside teams will take disaster kits out. Triage, treat or send them to safety. Any questions?” I called over the crowd.

“I have combat experience, I was a nurse in Afghanistan,” A nurse stepped forward, “Who should I go with?” Erica waved him over to her. I quickly sorted through the staff and built the three outside teams. We all took radios and disaster kits and prepared to go outside.

“Listen, you are no good to anyone if you get hit. Be mindful of where you are. The cops know we’re heading out, the EMTs know we’ll be out there too. Make sure you are able to go home tonight.” I said to the teams as we headed out the door into the chaos.


	14. Chapter 14

I was glad for all the additional fitness training I’d been doing over the past months. My colleagues were struggling to climb over the rubble to get out of the ambulance bay. I hauled up gear to the top, and then hauled up my team. And then we hauled up the other two teams. The nurse who’d served in Afghanistan was the only other person who didn’t struggle while scrabbling up the debris.

“How are you so in shape, Lex?” Erica gasped from beside me.

“I run 10k a day, amongst other things. Are you going to be okay?” I looked her right in the eye.

“Oh hells, yes. Once I’m not climbing a broken building, I’ll be fine.” She nodded. We slid down the side of the rubble and regrouped on the ground. Looking out onto the street was astonishing. There was rubble and smashed cars everywhere, and where there wasn’t rubble and smashed cars, there were people screaming and running. We quickly decided what direction to go and ran toward the worst of the fighting.

“Write the time and vital signs on the patient’s arm before you send them down to the ambulances. It will help the EMTs to triage.” I handed a sharpie to each of the nurses on my team. We set about treating everyone we came across. There were a lot of cuts and abrasions, but as far out from the fighting as we still were, not much worse. I expected that to change as we made our way up the street. We systematically moved through the battle zone, and sure enough, the injuries started getting worse. A car to the far left of us suddenly burst into flames and became airborne. I looked up. As we’d been moving toward the fighting, the fighting had also been moving toward us. I saw Romanoff fly past on one of the alien craft.

“Heads up! It’s getting dangerous!” I hollered at my team. We regrouped and looked further up the street. There were people everywhere still, and some of them weren’t moving quickly, or weren’t moving at all.

“We’ve got to keep going!” One of the nurses yelled. I nodded.

“Just keep an eye on what’s happening above us!” I agreed. The other nurse suddenly tackled me, and a blue bolt shot across where I’d been standing. From the ground, I could see alien troops heading toward us.

“RUN!” I screamed. I grabbed my bag and we headed to the nearest building and scrambled inside. A red and gold blur flew by, blasting at the aliens, and then waved into the building. Stark had obviously seen us and was trying to help. We headed back out and continued treating people and directing them back toward the hospital. My radio crackled to life.

“Lex! We’ve got a guy pinned under a car about 100 feet back from where you are!” Erica called. I looked back and saw her waving frantically at us. We ran toward her. Between the 6 of us, we managed to rock the car enough to pull the guy out. Fortunately, his leg was only broken and not crushed. We collected our things to leave Erica and her team to it, and as I stood up from grabbing my kit bag, I took the stock of one of the alien weapons to the face. How they had snuck up on us was beyond me. 

I dropped my bag, and took a fighting stance. The alien was obviously not interested in shooting me, but certainly wanted a fight. It figured. I was so entirely screwed. Always sucking at hand-to-hand was one thing, but missing practices while I was finishing med school meant I was worse than I’d ever been. The alien charged me. I deked to the side and it shot past me. It turned and came at me again, and I tried to throw it over my shoulder like Romanoff had taught me. I wound up on my back with its hands around my neck. And then it slumped on top of me, dead. I struggled out from under it and saw Romanoff shaking her head.

“It’s a good thing you’re a good doctor, Richmond!” She yelled as she dashed away. I regrouped with my team, and we moved forward, gaining and losing ground as we found people. As we got to the area where the fighting was centred, we encountered some police officer.

“I’m sorry, the guy with the shield says we aren’t letting anyone past this point.” An older cop held his hand up. I squinted and in the distance could see Steve fighting. I nodded.

“We’re medical, sir. Are there any injured up there?” I asked. He shrugged.

“No idea.”

“You have to let us past then. We’ll keep to the perimeters as much as possible, but if there’s people in there that are hurt, you have to let us past.” I flashed my SHIELD ID. He turned away and spoke into his radio. A moment later he turned back.

“You can go in, but you’re on your own.” He waved us past the barricade of cars. We dashed across the line, and headed to the edge of the nearest building. From where we stood, we could see across most of the worst fighting. I stopped, completely mesmerized by the effortless way that Steve fought. It was inspired. I was snapped out of my reverie by a holler from one of the nurses.

“Holy shit! There’s a kid in that car!” She shrieked, pointing at a cab that was upside down about 40 feet away. I took stock of the situation. The ground around the cab was wet, and there was some sort of heat coming off the ground, causing the cab to look blurry. Gas.

“We’ve gotta get to that kid before the car blows!” I yelled, and ran toward it. I pulled my pocketknife out as I slid to the rear door of the car. I wrenched it open, and cut the seatbelt. The child, a girl no more than 5 years old, fell into my arms, sobbing. I passed her to the nurse beside me.

“Where’s her mom? Take her back, I’m going to look.” I turned back to the car, and saw an unconscious woman slumped across the roof of the car. I climbed into the car and grabbed her arms. I started pulling, and the other nurse reached in and tugged too. With huge effort, we pulled her clear as a pair of firefighters approached. One of them picked up the woman like she weighed nothing and he and the nurse ran to where we’d left our supplies. I pushed myself to my feet to follow.

You know how, in movies, when shit blows up, the people nearby look exactly like they are being pulled away from the explosion by their belt loops? That’s kind of what it feels like too. I pulled free from the cab and started to follow my team, but I stopped and turned around when I heard something that sounded like another child, crying. It wasn’t. It was the engine of the cab igniting the gas around it. I heard the boom, and felt myself fly backward away from the explosion. The heat was incredible, and the sound was deafening. And then, I felt nothing, and my world went black.


	15. Chapter 15

I was gagging. Gagging and choking and desperately trying to get whatever it was that was crammed down my throat out. I felt my arms being pulled away from my face, but I just couldn’t wake up. Instead I thrashed, trying to get away from whatever was holding me down, whatever was gagging me.

“1mg of midazolam will settle her. But we should trial her unvented. I didn’t think she’d recover so quickly.” The voice was familiar, but just as I thought I might be able to open my eyes and place it, I slid back into darkness.

XXX

The next time I woke, I wasn’t choking on anything. I could breathe freely and my arms were unrestrained. I willed my eyes to open, and fixed my blurry vision on the ceiling, waiting for everything to focus. I ached all over.

“Hey, you’ve come back to us.” A nurse rubbed my hand. I turned my head and tried to speak, but my mouth was so dry I couldn’t. She offered me a sip of water.

“Thanks,” I croaked, “What happened?”

“You were injured during that alien invasion.”

“How long have I been asleep?”

“Just a day. It’s remarkable, actually. No one really thought you would wake up for at least a few more days, but you’d only been here in the ICU for a couple hours when you tried pulling your vent out.” She explained.

“It feels like longer.”

“Nope. You were admitted yesterday afternoon at about 1600.” She offered the water again, and then rose from her seat. I looked at the clock. It was 2pm. I hadn’t even been there 24 hours. No wonder I ached so badly.

“I ache everywhere. What is broken?” I asked. I’d been tentatively moving all my limbs but other than being sore, I couldn’t figure out what was wrong.

“Nothing, actually. You’ve got some superficial burns to your hands, and one helluva concussion. They vented you in the field because you stopped breathing, but the doc thinks that was probably the shock more than anything. I’m going to call your doctor and see if we can’t get you transferred out of here to the medical floor.” She excused herself. Steve rushed past her, looking tired and haggard.

“You look like hell, Steve.” I said. He laughed and leaned across the bed to hug me.

“You do too.” He kissed my forehead, “You scared years off my life, Lex.”

“And at nearly 90, you don’t have many left.” I teased. He relaxed with the joke.

“You’re really okay.” It was almost a question. I pushed against the bed to sit up. He sat down beside the bed and took my hand in his. We stayed that way, quietly, until Dr. Jameson came in, which answered my question as to where I was. He quickly assessed me.

“I think you could safely be discharged, but I’m going to keep you overnight just to be sure. You rattled your brain quite a bit.” He said.

“Dr. Jameson, I’m not a medical person, but this is an Intensive Care Unit.” Steve protested.

“I understand that, Captain Rogers. We have a tendency to be overly cautious when it’s one of our own, and I don’t know that Dr. Richmond actually needed ventilation or a stay in this unit. Observation on medicine would probably have been fine.” He explained. Steve nodded.

“So you really think she’s okay?” He asked.

“I wouldn’t sign this order if I didn’t, son.” Dr. Jameson placed his hand on Steve’s shoulder in reassurance. I was moved to the medical unit soon after. Steve insisted on wheeling me down in a wheelchair, despite assurances that I could walk there. Unhooked from the monitors, I was able to make room for Steve beside me in the bed, and he slipped in beside me, and took me into his arms. We both slept.

XXX

I shrieked as I came awake, sitting upright. Steve grabbed me and pulled me back to him and laid my head on his chest. He stroked my hair.

“What?” He asked. I could hear his heart racing.

“Nightmare.”

“Chitauri?”

“Who what now?”

“The aliens.” He explained.

“Destroyer.” I shook my head. He kissed the top of my head and squeezed me. A nurse rounded the corner into the room.

“I heard screaming?” She asked. I nodded.

“I had a nightmare.” I explained. She raised an eyebrow at Steve being in the bed with me, but didn’t say anything. It took a while for us to relax back into sleep, but once I slept, it was thankfully dreamless. I awoke alone to sunlight streaming across the hospital bed. I sat up quickly, looking for Steve. The motion made me very dizzy and my stomach turned. It took a little blinking before my vision came in to focus, and I couldn’t see Steve anywhere. I stood up slowly, and made my way to the bathroom for a shower. I could still feel the grit from the battle on my skin and it had made me crazy all night. I pulled on a clean hospital gown and realized I had nothing with me. No clothes, no toiletries.

Pulling on a pair of those horrible blue paper slippers, I made my way down to the nurse’s station. Dr. Jameson was flipping through a chart and chatting with the nurse at the computer. 

“Dr. Richmond! I was just signing your discharge orders. Your vitals were stable all night, and you look wonderful. How are you feeling?” He asked. I smiled.

“Good. I was dizzy when I got up, but that’s understandable.” I answered. I looked over at the nurse, “I hate to bother you, but do you have any combs? I showered without thinking about toiletries.” She nodded and grabbed a comb from the clean hold. As she handed it to me, Steve rounded the corner with a small gym bag.

“You’re up.” He observed. I raised an eyebrow and he blushed, “I thought I would make it to your apartment and back before you woke this morning. I figured you would want clean clothes and a toothbrush.”

“You’re the most thoughtful boyfriend ever!” The nurse was admiring his shoulders too. I blushed. We hadn’t actually defined what was going on with us, so I wasn’t sure if he would be okay with the term boyfriend. Then again, he was an old-fashioned guy. He was probably fine with it. We headed back to my room so I could change.

“Dr. Jameson just discharged me. We can pretty much go as soon as I have clothes on.” I took the bag from him and popped into the bathroom. I was partway dressed, in my bra and a pair of jeans when he knocked on the door. I opened it a crack, puzzled as to what couldn’t wait. He looked me in the eye, but didn’t say a word. Then he pushed me into the bathroom and against the bathroom wall, flicking the door shut with his foot. His lips pressed against mine in desperation, and his hands tangled into my wet hair. 

“I have never been scared like I was when I saw you flying back from that car.” He murmured between kisses. One of his hands slid across my side. His hands were rough against my skin. I wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned into him, hungry for the comfort of his mouth against mine. A sudden knock on the bathroom door broke us apart.

“Dr. Richmond? Are you all right? Your bathroom call bell is on.” My nurse called through the door. I reached behind me, and flicked it off. Steve smothered a laugh in my shoulder.

“I’m fine, sorry.” I picked my shirt off the floor and pulled it over my head. 

“We should probably get going.” Steve smirked. I threw my patient effects bag into the duffel and pulled on the runners Steve had brought.

“Don’t think I didn’t notice that you brought my sexiest underpants, Steve.” I couldn’t help but smile. He blushed, just a little.

“Yeah, you really scared me.” He said, as though that explained the lacy bra and pants that I’d found in the bag. I laughed and shook my head. Man logic.

XXX

Steve was propped up on one elbow in my bed, tracing my collarbone with his fingertip lazily. He dipped his head to kiss me again, but it was so much less urgent than the kisses in the hospital had been. 

“It’s taking all my willpower to not demand that Fury hide you away in a safe facility for the rest of your career.” He offered. I smiled, and ran my hand down his arm.

“How very modern of you.” I teased. He chuckled softly.

“Well, like your nurse said, I am the best boyfriend ever.” His smile was a little shy.

“How could you not be? You’re Captain Goddamn America.” 

“I don’t think Dr. Erskine’s serum covered good boyfriend qualities.” He was just leaning down to kiss me again when his phone rang. So much for round two. He rolled away to answer it and sat up when he saw the call display.

“Director?” Steve spoke into the phone. He pulled on his pants and paced out to the living room. I sighed, and tracked down my clothes. I put a pot of coffee on while Steve was talking to Fury, and I desperately wanted to listen in, but Steve was mostly just saying yes, no and uh-huh. I tossed his t-shirt and boxers at him and handed him a cup of coffee.

“No, actually, she’s here. She was discharged this morning. I’m at her place right now.” Steve responded, looking up at me. He handed me the phone wordlessly, and finished getting dressed.

“Richmond, are you ready to get back to work?” Director Fury asked me. I sat down on the couch, and closed my eyes. No rest for the wicked, I suppose.

“Sure, I guess so.”

“Good. We have a lot of protocols to readdress in light of this most recent incident. And I need you to do a final assessment on the prisoner before Thor takes him back to Asgard.” Fury was asking me to assess Loki again.

“I don’t think-“

“We need to know about his physiology, Richmond. We need to know how to defeat his kind, should this happen again.”

“Steve said the Chitauri were something different than Loki.” I argued.

“Yes, we have a number of their bodies back at the Hub being autopsied. But Loki can’t be autopsied.” Fury’s voice was somehow gentler than usual.

“I don’t see why not.” I snapped into the phone, thinking about Coulson. Fury barked out a cold laugh in response.

“Thor seems to think facing Asgardian justice will be a harsher punishment. He’s being held at the med clinic at the detention centre uptown.” The line went dead. I passed Steve his phone.

“Can we stop for coffee on the way?” I asked him. He nodded.


	16. Chapter 16

Loki was standing looking out a window with his hands cuffed behind his back. They were pretty fancy handcuffs, and I figured they were probably some kind of magical. I highly suspected a pair of standard issue handcuffs wouldn’t hold him. I turned back to the guard.

“I need the cuffs off.” I ordered. He looked confused.

“But –“

“I can hardly give him a medical assessment with his arms restrained behind his back. And he can’t go through the MRI like that.” I argued.

“I’ll have to get Thor.” The guard sounded dubious. I rolled my eyes.

“Then go get him.” I sighed and looked back to Loki. He had turned to face me, bemusement in his eyes. He also had some sort of muzzle on. The guard was whispering into his radio, and sounded like he was losing whatever argument he was having. I stalked over to him, grabbed his comm and spoke loudly and clearly into it.

“I need Loki out of the cuffs and the muzzle needs to come off too. NOW.” I snapped. Moments later Thor entered the room. I glanced out the window and noticed the sky was clouding over. An arc of lightning shot across the sky. Typical.

Thor entered the room. His presence was impressive. He was taller than Steve, and broader than Steve, and blonder than Steve, and just a whole lot more person than Steve. Obtrusive in a way. In a delicious eye-candy way, but still obtrusive. He glared at me. I raised an eyebrow and pointed at the window.

“Cut the theatrics, Thunderpants. I don’t care how much it pisses you off, you agreed to allow this assessment, and I can’t do it with your brother trussed up like a turkey.” I was cranky. The sky lightened and started clearing. It would suck to have your feelings be so transparent. Loki looked somewhat amused at the way I spoke to his brother.

“I do not think it safe, Lady Doctor.” He argued.

“So stick around. You can drop your plus-10 hammer of immobility on him if he tries anything.” I countered.

“My plus what?” My pop culture reference was obviously lost on him.

“Your hammer. I seem to recall you being the only person who can lift the damn thing. If Loki tries anything, put it on his chest.” I spoke slowly. A smile spread across his face and he slapped my shoulder. I nearly fell over. Dude was strong.

“I understand. When we were children, I took great delight in doing just as you’ve said when we fought.” Thor chuckled. He approached Loki and unshackled him. Loki rubbed his jaw when the muzzle was removed. I tossed a paper gown at him.

“Put this on.” I turned my back.

“I think not.” He responded. I spun around and before I even realized what I was doing, had punched him in the face. His head snapped back and his nose started to bleed. His eyes widened in surprise, and then narrowed with rage. Thor started laughing.

“Put the fucking gown on.” I snapped and turned away. 

“You and the Lady Sif would get on quite well, I would think, Lady Doctor.” Thor’s laugh was, unsurprisingly, thunderous. I tapped my foot impatiently.

“I am ready, Doctor.” Loki’s voice was flat. I turned and fought a bad case of the giggles. Paper gowns were so humbling, even for the most average of humans, but seeing this demi-god reduced to bare feet and a light blue crinkly wrap was almost too much. My mood improved. I pointed to the assessment table.

“Hop up.” I quickly ran over the same assessment as the previous time I’d assessed him, but this time, I knew to ask for him to switch into his Jotun appearance for a secondary assessment. It still puzzled and fascinated me how the shape-shifting could alter his physiology. Thor stood to one side, acting disinterested until Loki took on the appearance of a Frost Giant. Then he couldn’t look away.

“You seem bothered by this form, brother.” Loki met Thor’s gaze.

“It never ceases to surprise me.” Thor responded. I drew some more blood samples. Unsurprisingly, Loki was so cool as a Frost Giant that I was getting goosebumps just from standing near him. I cursed myself for wearing a thin t-shirt.

“You can change back.” I murmured. Loki smirked.

“And if I don’t want to? The view is,” he paused, “titillating.” I crossed my arms over my chest and rolled my eyes. Pig.

“Just change back.” I snapped. He complied. I walked over to the far side of the room, and peeked into the MRI suite to make sure it was empty. 

“I need you to come into this room and lay on the cot.” I motioned toward the MRI machine. Loki walked over and looked puzzled.

“What manner of machine is this?” He asked.

“It’s a magnetic resonance imager. It’s the machine that takes the pictures of your insides. Lay down. I hope you aren’t bothered by confined spaces. I’m going to do two sets of scans, and you can’t move during them. I will let you know when I need you to change into your Jotun form again.” I strapped him onto the board and gestured to Thor to follow me into the viewing room.

“Should I not stay with him?” Thor asked. I met his gaze.

“That’s a giant magnet. You are wearing armour. I’m not saying you’d get sucked into the machine with him, but I’m not willing to take the risk. Sit.” I pointed to a chair right at the door into the MRI chamber. I set the machine to run, and spoke through the microphone at Loki.

“If you need out of the machine for any reason, just say so. The machine has a microphone, so I’ll be able to hear you.”

“I do not fear small caves, Doctor.” Loki was contemptuous.

“Have it your way then.” I flipped the machine on and started the scan. MRIs take forever. Thor was like an oversized child. He fidgeted and wiggled in his chair, clearly bored. I looked into the room. Loki was staying still. I didn’t trust him to not pull shenanigans.

“How much longer will this take?” Thor was swinging the hammer back and forth under the chair like a pendulum.

“This scan will be another five minutes or so. The next one will take as long. Hey, Loki is a master of illusion, right?” I asked. Thor nodded.

“He can be in many places all at once.” 

“So how do we know we got the right copy?” I asked.

“The illusions are non-corporeal. Had you tried to strap an illusory Loki to the bed, your hands would have slipped through him.” Thor waved his hand in front of himself to demonstrate.

“Oh, that’s creepy.” I finished the first scan, and decided I should check on Loki in the chamber. I pulled back the cot and met his gaze. He looked irritated.

“That was insufferably long.” He complained.

“And it’s going to be the same length this time. I just need you to be in your Jotun form.”

“The previous time you assessed me, you had said you would let me know what differences you found in my physiology. I have many questions.” Loki stated.

“Yeah, well, that was before you killed my friend and leveled half my city. I don’t feel quite so obliging anymore.” I turned on my heel and stalked back to the control booth. I waited until I could see that Loki had taken on the blue of his Frost Giant heritage and ran the machine again. Thor was staring at the ceiling, groaning. I tossed a magazine at him.

“Here. Entertain yourself. ADD much?”

“I know not what that means. I am not accustomed to such waiting.” He flipped through the magazine, a look of horror spreading across his face, “Do women here really dress so immodestly?” He held up a photo spread of a bunch of move stars in bikinis. I laughed.

“Really? I thought you were like, a Viking god?”

“Well, yes, the Vikings thought we were gods.” He admitted. 

“The Vikings who pillaged, raided and raped their way across Europe.” I clarified.

“As was the way of war then, yes.” He agreed.

“And you think a woman in a bikini is scandalous?” I asked. He looked puzzled.

“I never knew a Viking woman to dress in so little. She would have frozen to death.” He was so confused.

“I guess I just thought all the Valkyries in Valhalla would be scantily clad sex-kittens.” I shrugged. Thor’s booming laugh filled the room.

“No, Lady Doctor, the shield maidens of Valhalla are warriors, and rightly armoured. These scraps would not guard against any injury!” He chuckled. I felt a little stupid. Then again, I could name every bone in the hand, which I doubted Thor could. Different areas of expertise. 

The MRI started counting down its completion. I sent Loki and Thor back into the assessment room while I looked over the initial scans and frowned. Fury stepped in from the hallway. I should have known he would be lurking.

“Well?”

“So far, I don’t see anything significant, but I’m going to need some time to go over the scans more thoroughly.” I collected the printouts and headed back to the assessment room. Loki and Thor were locked in an epic stare-off. Ugh. Brothers.

“Are we finished, Doctor?” Loki asked. I nodded.

“You can get dressed. I have some questions, but no more hands on stuff.”

“Pity. I so wanted your hands all over me.” He smirked. I rolled my eyes. Thor bristled.

“Loki! You know she belongs to another.” He barked. Loki shrugged.

“But I am a god, brother. And what woman wouldn’t want that?” Without embarrassment, he began to get dressed in front of me. I turned my back. He was evil, but he did have the body of a god.

“Uh, this one.” I informed him over my shoulder, “Did you know, Loki, that early Christians modeled their Satan after you? Women, we’re funny. We love a bad boy. Most of us, however, draw the line at the devil incarnate.” I turned back around, hoping he was fully clothed. He was pulling his top on. He stalked over to me, and put his hand on my arm. I met his angry, green eyes.

“Is not your devil the god of fire? And yet ice runs through my veins. I think your Satan is not so similar to me.” His hand was ice cold against my skin. I yanked my arm away. It tingled and I rubbed where he’d been touching to regain circulation. His touch had been enough to leave frostbite in the shape of his hand on me.

“You’ve given me frostbite, you asshole.” I rubbed at my arm a little more aggressively.

“I have marked you, as you marked me,” he gestured to his bruised nose, “In lesser societies, we would be considered wed now.” I turned my gaze to his brother.

“Is he always like this? Or is this because his awesome plan to rule the world was thwarted?” I asked, still rubbing my arm.

“Unfortunately, Lady Doctor, I think he has grown fond of you.” Thor looked a little disturbed. I whirled back to Loki, who was glaring at Thor.

“Well, I have a boyfriend. I think you’ve met him. Carries a big shield with a giant star on it.” I picked up his chart and pointed at the assessment table, “Now sit.” I ran through the rest of the questions, and while Loki tried to be difficult, Thor was happy to supply as many answers as he could to fill in the silent gaps Loki was leaving. I scribbled notes as quickly as I could.

“So, can you be killed?” I asked. I thought it was a legitimate question, and probably something SHIELD needed to know. Loki and Thor exchanged a meaningful look.

“Yes. We are more resilient, and stronger. But with enough injury we can die.” Thor admitted.

“And your life span?”

“Thousands of Midgardian years.” Loki responded.

“So you’re not actually a god.” I stated. Loki had the greatest poker face in the world, but it showed a slight crack at the statement. Thor nodded.

“No. It would be difficult for a Midgardian to kill us, but it could happen.” He said. I smiled at Loki.

“Good to know. Such a shame you can’t leave your brother for weapons testing, Thor.” I made more notes, “One last question.”

“There are no words to convey my gratitude at that.” If the increased weight of Loki’s sarcasm was any indication, he was more than finished with the interrogation.

“How old are you, Loki?”

“I couldn’t tell you.” He shrugged. I looked at Thor. Thor nodded.

“Truly, Midgardian years pass differently than those in Asgard. I would guess we are both hundreds, if not thousands of Midgardian years old.”

“And we will both live that long again after you are dead.” Loki snapped. He rose and held his hands out to Thor. Thor looked surprised, and looked back to me.

“I’m done. Take him home.” I finished scribbling notes in the chart, and watched as Thor locked the handcuffs around his wrists. He was about to muzzle Loki again when he stepped toward me. He leaned down to whisper in my ear.

“I could have soothed your burns, Doctor.” He breathed. A shiver ran down my spine, and goosebumps flared along me skin. He smiled as he stood back up, “You aren’t so unaffected by me, are you?”

I couldn’t help myself. I punched him in the face again.


	17. Chapter 17

“Thor says the mess of Loki’s face was your doing?” Agent Romanoff asked as she breezed into the infirmary. I had been back on the helicarrier for a few days and was working with Dr. Carson to get the infirmary back online, and develop some new protocols and standards in light of the Agent Coulson incident. I smirked over my clipboard.

“What can I say? I have a great teacher.” I had been expecting her to touch base with me later, but wasn’t opposed to starting my training again right away. She looked me over. I still looked like hell. The burned from the explosion had scabbed over, leaving my bare arms looking like alligator skin. On my left forearm, the handprint of frostbite from Loki was discoloured and peeling. It could have been so much worse, but it was still tender.

“What’s the handprint?” She looked puzzled.

“Motherfucker gave me frostbite while he was trying to come on to me,” I responded, “I think.”

“You think he gave you frostbite?” 

“No, I think he was hitting on me.” I made a face. She burst out laughing.

“Oh my god, I would have paid money to see that, Richmond!”

“It was about as creepy as you’re thinking.” I admitted. She started laughing again, and sat down in a chair, giggling. I tilted my head to one side and gave her a questioning look.

“I’m sorry, Richmond. It’s funny. And there’s been precious little amusing over the last week.” She held up her hand in surrender, “Are mornings or afternoons better for you for training?”

“Probably mornings. I go to the gym to run in the mornings already.” I flipped to the bottom of the clipboard and checked the schedule, “in 2 weeks we might need to change to afternoons though, as we’re starting to run a doctor’s night shift. I’m scheduled for the first rotation.” She nodded as I spoke, and then flipped open her phone and flicked across a couple of screens.

“Okay, I’ll plan to meet you every morning. I’ll text you if I’m not onboard. But for the time being, I think Fury wants all of us sticking around. He’s also ordered complete physicals for everyone that was on the ground, so be expecting that. Stark is pissed, and wants his usual doc to submit a report. Fury wants them done by SHIELD docs here.”

“Awesome.” I sighed. The last thing I needed was my first real encounter with Stark to be spent locking horns over a physical. I kind of felt I’d earned a freebie because of Loki, but I’m reasonably sure Director Fury wouldn’t see it that way. 

XXX

SHIELD was calling it ‘The Battle of New York’. To me, that sounded like a professional wrestling extravaganza, but I wasn’t the one naming battles. I would have called it ‘The one where I got blown up and the world found out about aliens and superheroes all in one day”, which was quite a mouthful. Probably a good thing I wasn’t in charge of naming the battles. At any rate, the result was that the training for non-agent SHIELD staff had become more rigorous, and the gym was now busy all the time, and not just with remedial learners like myself.

Romanoff stepped onto the treadmill beside me during my last kilometer, and ran along side me. 

“How is your shoulder?” She asked when I stopped. I took a long drink from my water bottle.

“Surprisingly good, actually. They replaced the tendon with a cadaver tendon. I had full range of motion within days. And New York didn’t wreck it, amazingly.” I admitted. I stepped off the treadmill and did some stretches.

“You gonna get your tat fixed when the burns heal?” She asked. My national team tattoo had been a ‘Battle of New York’ casualty. One of the burns covered half of it. I shrugged.

“Depends on the scarring. I’m hoping the scarring won’t be bad, they aren’t deep. It’s really only like a really bad sunburn; I don’t think I’d even qualify them as second degree. Anyhow. It depends on how tender the tissue is. In short, vague response is vague.” I offered. She smiled.

“You’re pretty fucking tough, Richmond.” She walked over to the mats. I followed.

“If you’re going to compliment me like that, you can call me Lex.” I winked. 

“Then maybe you could start calling me Natasha.” She countered. We spent the next hour working on the basics before hitting the showers and heading our separate ways. 

Dr. Carson was waiting for me in the infirmary when I walked in. He was funny, in a particular and quirky way. Fortunately, we were mostly on the same page, so as weird as he maybe seemed, I found working with him to be refreshing because he could almost read my mind. He had a stack of charts on the desk and was looking annoyed.

“We have a pile of physicals that Fury wants done, and some of these agents have either never had them done before, or haven’t had them done in ages. There’s a Captain Rogers who is due for a physical and dude is almost a hundred years old. Or there’s a typo in his file. I’m going with a typo in his file.”

“It’s accurate, actually. That’s Captain America, the guy they dug out of the ice a few months ago in Russia.”

“Was this in some sort of memo?” He looked completely baffled.

“Not really. I guess you kinda had to be here. He’s had a physical though; I saw the report on it when he first was found. The nurses on board can do a lot of the assessment, to be honest.”

“I’m not comfortable with that.” He cut me off. I raised an eyebrow. It was the first time we’d disagreed. While I’d been working as a nurse, we’d pretty much run the infirmary.

“These nurses are trauma trained, and have advanced physical assessment skills.” I countered.

“They are nurses.” He sounded finished. I was not finished, however.

“Oh hell no, you did not! I’m sorry, but I worked in this exact infirmary as a nurse. I know the nurses here and I know what they are capable.” I argued, getting angry. He shrugged.

“I’m still the Chief Medical Officer, so get used to my rules. You can take care of these assessments. Fury wants them done by Friday. Apparently some of these are going to be tricky. I hear Romanoff is scary.” He shuddered. I smirked and wondered how his last hand-to-hand exam had gone. I took the pile of charts from him and sat down to sort through them. I decided to track people down instead of phoning or messaging them. Agent Romanoff had led me to believe they were all still on board. And at the very least, I knew she and Steve both were. 

I headed to the bridge first, and waited for Fury to finish giving orders to a couple of agents before stepping forward.

“Sir. I’m looking for Stark, Barton and Banner to book their physicals. Any recommendations?”

“Stark and Banner are in the lab. Barton is probably on the range.” His answer was a dismissal.

“Sir, Dr. Carson noted that it’s been over a year since your last physical. He was hoping to personally take care of that for you.” I smiled and walked off the bridge. Fury cussed under his breath. If Carson thought Natasha was scary and he hadn’t met her yet, he wasn’t going to enjoy my impression of a woman scorned. I made my way up to the lab and scanned myself in.

“Dr. Banner, Mr. Stark. We met before, well, before. I’m Docto-“ I started. Stark approached me and cut me off.

“Call me Tony.” He shook my hand. My mouth dropped open. Dr. Banner approached me and also shook my hand.

“Bruce, please. I’m afraid I don’t recall meeting you.” He introduced himself again.

“This is Cap’s girl, the one who won that big archery wager against Barton.” He explained. Bruce looked frustrated. 

“Dr. Alexandra Richmond.” I offered. He smiled and released my hand. Tony stepped back behind a table and started flicking his hands across the computer console. Holographic screen popped up around the table. My jaw dropped. We could seriously use that tech in the infirmary.

“We’re doing science, Dr. Richmond. Wanna play? What’s your pleasure?” He offered. I turned to take in more of the displays.

“This is incredible. We need this in the infirmary. Could you program it to overlay an MRI on a person? Give a full sized view?” My mind had taken off with all kinds of applications for the technology that Stark was so casually using.

“Kid’s play, Richmond. Can I call you Alex? What does Cap call you? Not your bedroom name, but you know, if he sees you in the hallway.” Tony really was exactly like the hyperactive child he’d been described to me as. He bounced from thought to thought with a dizzying speed.

“Uh, Steve calls me ma’am when he sees me in the hallway. Lex is fine. Not Alex.” I was having a hard time keeping up. In the moment that had passed since he’d asked me about my name, he’d brought up an MRI on a full size holographic screen. I walked over to it and reached out. Amazing.

“So this is patient X, who was recovered from the scene of a car exploding during the Battle of New York. She is approximately five foot eight, and 155 pounds, 27 years ol-“

“Oh my god, how did you get my MRI?” I tapped the air where the scan of my brain was and it moved out into another window, zoomed about ten times. I reached forward and turned the scan sideways, and then pushed along side the image of my ear, breaking into my brain. Amazing. I could see the swelling of the brain, and what part was damaged by the concussion. I noticed a small area of swelling in the occipital lobe and turned to Tony.

“Can I get deeper into this?” I asked him. He smiled and came around the table to stand beside me. He flicked his hand so quickly I couldn’t tell what he was doing, but before I could blink, the area I’d spotted was isolated and magnified. 

“Shut up,” I breathed. I moved my hand to turn the image again, “No wonder my vision has been blurry.” I turned to Tony absolutely gobsmacked. His grin was like a maniacal child hopped up on candy on Christmas morning. He just nodded.

“You picked that up fast. I’ll talk to Fury about trialing it in this infirmary.”

“So cool,” I shook my head, “That’s not why I’m here though. I need to schedule your physicals.” Bruce rolled his eyes and went back to the computer console. Tony laughed.

“I have a doctor. I’m fine.” Tony dismissed me.

“Yeah, I know. But Fury is insisting. Look, if you come by first thing in the morning, I can have you in and out in 20 minutes top. Just a tiny bit of bloodwork and a quick look over.” I offered.

“Will it be you doing the assessment, Lex?” Bruce looked up.

“Yes. The new Chief Medical Officer is insisting I personally take care of you all.” I confirmed with a bright and very false smile. Bruce looked resigned.

“I could just forward you all my previous research?”

“That would be awesome for a baseline, but I need to post-battle assessment too, unfortunately.” I apologized. He nodded.

“Just you then. Maybe get Tasha to come too, just in case.” He agreed. I nodded and made a note in my schedule app. Tony grabbed my phone from me.

“This isn’t Stark tech,” He gave me a look, “All agents are supposed to have Stark phones.”

“I’m not an agent, I’m a doctor.” I took my phone back, “And when will you be joining me?” He made an unhappy face, took my phone and booked himself in. I flipped through the week and nodded.

“No poking around my heart.” He said.

“I promise.” I excused myself and headed toward the range. Barton was practicing with a handgun, but had his fancypants quiver strapped on, and his bow was lying across the counter in front of him. I sat down and waited. I knew he hadn’t missed me coming in, so I took the opportunity to catch up on my emails while I waited. He took his time.

“Looking for a rematch?” He teased.

“I know I was lucky.” I laughed. He sat down beside me and yawned. 

“I heard you had surgery on the shoulder.” It wasn’t really a question.

“Yeah.” I said, and we slipped back into silence. We sat that way for what felt like hours, but was probably only a few minutes. I turned to face him.

“Fury has ordered a physical on each team member who was on the ground.” I cut to chase. I didn’t know Barton really well, but I had figured out he wasn’t a big talker and he didn’t like to dance around things.

“You around this afternoon? Around 1500?” He asked. I nodded, amazed. I thought he was going to be so much harder to convince. I knew Steve and Natasha were going to be easy to schedule. Squaring away Barton put me on top of the world.

“Thanks, Agent Barton.” I stood to leave. He put his hand on my arm. I flinched a little as his hand grazed the frostbite.

“Clint. I heard you messed up Loki’s face. You’re my new best girl.” He winked. I smirked and headed back to the infirmary, wondering if Dr. Carson realized that asking me to take care of the heroes of New York was really not a hardship.


	18. Chapter 18

I’d just finished assessing Agent Barton when the curtain flew open. Dr. Carson stood there, red-faced. You could almost see the steam coming out of his ears. Clint was sitting there in his briefs, and reached over and flipped the curtain shut. Dr. Carson snatched it open again and shot Clint a wordless glare that I guessed was supposed to make him behave. Clint rolled his eyes, stood and grabbed the curtain.

“I’m sorry. Dr. Richmond isn’t finished my assessment yet, and I don’t need the whole infirmary staring at me.” He slowly pulled the curtain out of Dr. Carson’s hand and pulled it shut. Dr. Carson sighed deeply from the other side of the curtain, and shuffled his feet.

“Dr. Richmond, you can pass off the rest of this assessment to Derek. I need to speak to you.” His words were terse. I met Clint’s eyes and tried not to giggle.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Dr. Carson. You said the nurses weren’t able to do assessments. I couldn’t possibly neglect my responsibilities.” I replied, “I’ll be a bit. Why don’t you wait at the desk?” 

I watched as Dr. Carson’s feet retreated out of view. Clint turned around and started pulling his clothes on. He sat back down on the cot and looked at his watch.

“What did you do?” Barton whispered. My smile was guilty. 

“I may have told Director Fury that Dr. Carson wanted him down here for his assessment stat.” I am sure I looked completely guilty of mischief.

“And the doc didn’t want that?” He asked.

“Nope. He wanted me to take care of all the assessments, and he was kind of a jerk when I suggested that the nurses here have been doing the forever.” I explained.

“Is he the CMO?” Barton looked confused. Which was understandable, as I’d previously been in the post.

“Yeah, since before New York. So he was flexing his muscle, and being an ass about it. Don’t disrespect the nurses. Besides, turn about it fair play.” I smiled. Clint shook his head.

“Remind me not to piss you off.” He shuddered, “Between you and Tasha, who needs the rest of us?”

I laughed. Clint pulled the curtain back and gave me a little wave as he walked out of the infirmary. I looked over at the desk. Dr. Carson was seething. His arms were crossed over his chest and his jaw was so squared that I could practically hear him grinding his teeth. I smiled and walked toward him. He turned, grabbed a file and thrust it at me when I got to the desk.

“Would you care to explain why the director just gave me hell for asking for a physical on him?” He demanded. I flipped open the chart and glanced through the paperwork.

“He’s due for a physical.” I stated, pointing my finger at the date marked on the chart. Dr. Carson snatched the chart away from me and threw it down on the desk. He stared at me not saying a word. I think he was actually so angry he was scared to say anything. He pointed at a curtained assessment bay and then walked out of the infirmary. I sighed and headed over. I pulled open the curtain. Director Fury was sitting on the bed with a blue sheet over his lap. I bit the inside of my cheek to prevent myself from giggling.

“Director.” I acknowledged him as I drew the curtain shut again.

“Where the hell did Dr. Carson go?”

“Not sure, sir.” I answered honestly. I started the assessment and worked through it quickly, leaving the blood draws until the end. Fury said nothing, other than to answer questions when I asked them. The contrast between his assessment and Barton’s was astonishing. Barton had bantered back and forth with me during the entire physical. The tension that Fury was throwing off was nerve-wracking. I excused myself to collect the phlebotomy tray, and when I came back, Fury was dressed. He rolled up his sleeve silently. I almost wished he would yell at me for involving him in my power struggle with the new CMO, but he said nothing. His stare was unsettling. I put a cotton ball over the draw site and taped it.

“That’s all, Director.” I offered and moved to open the curtain. He put a hand on my shoulder to stop me.

“Sit.” 

I sat.

“Stark came to me this morning after you spoke to him, and said that you were interested in the tech he is using in the lab.” It was a question. I nodded.

“The applications in a medical environment are countless. He was able to pull up an MRI of my concussion and blow it up so big that I was able to see exactly what part of my brain had been affected. It could be groundbreaking, particularly in the treatment of head and internal injuries. But honestly, it’s limitless. So cool. I looked at my brain, blown up in 3D. I could have stood inside it.” I admit, I was excited and talking a mile a minute. Fury looked intrigued. It was the first emotion I’d seen since I’d drawn the curtain.

“How do you feel about a lateral promotion?” He asked. I gave him a questioning look.

“Sir?”

“Stark says he needs a medical doctor to work on the project with him. You’re the one who saw the potential.” He acknowledged. I’m pretty sure my eyes did that cartoony thing where they pop completely out in surprise.

“I would love to work on it.” I would like to say I was speechless, but I’m not one of those people who is stunned into silence. I get stunned into excited babbling. I was doing my level best to restrain the urge.

“Excellent. Finish up the physicals I asked for, and report to the lab as soon as you’ve got them cleared away.” He pulled back the curtain and headed to the exit. 

“Yes, sir.” I answered. He stopped and looked back when he was near the desk. 

“Dr. Carson, can you explain to me why we are wasting a talented resource like Dr. Richmond on physicals when our nurses are trained for exactly such tasks?” He inquired. Dr. Carson blanched.

“I felt tha-“

“Familiarize yourself with the policies for medical personnel on the helicarrier. I’ve asked Dr. Richmond to finish the physicals I requested, as a favour to me. But I’m not giving you another opportunity to waste a talented resource like her.” Fury was short. I was used to the abrupt way he addressed people, but based on the flush creeping up Dr. Carson’s neck, he wasn’t.

“And congratulations on the promotion, Dr. Richmond.” He shot Dr. Carson a look of contempt and disappeared out the door. Carson came stalking toward me. I restrained the urge to roll my eyes and instead waited for the tirade I was sure was coming.

“You made me look like an ass. Fury came in here for a physical, said I was insisting. Do you have no self-preservation instinct?” He snapped. I didn’t say anything as I walked to the desk to begin charting on the assessment.

“And yet, had you just allowed the nurses to take care of this, as policy dictated, it wouldn’t have been an issue.” I replied. He made a noise that I thought might be a growl of frustration and stomped away. 

XXX

Steve opened the door to my bunk and peeked in. I was sprawled across my bed, just reaching the climax of a singularly trashy romance novel and giggling at the description of the hero, and dropped the book in surprise. And maybe a little embarrassment. He picked it up and looked at the cover before handing back to me.

“Captivated by His Conquering Sword?” He asked. I blushed.

“It’s a trashy romance novel.” I dismissed.

“A what?” He grabbed it away from me again, and started reading. This was not going to end well. His eyes widened as he read on. He looked up at me in surprise and then back to the book, sucked in completely by what he was reading. I sat up and tried to grab the book back, without success.

“Basically, it’s like a-“

“This is pornography!” He exclaimed, “And this? This sounds incredibly uncomfortable.” He pointed to a passage in the book. I glanced at the passage and stifled a giggle. I could tell he was torn between continuing to read and interrogating me. I was pretty flattered that he put the book down, to be honest.

“There is a plot in there somewhere.” I excused weakly. He laughed.

“I’m going to have to ask Thor if the Vikings actually did that type of thing next time he’s around. I’ve gotta say, Lex, I’m a little surprised that you would read that type of book.” His grin reassured me he wasn’t offended. That was something. I figured it could have gone either way.

“I find the sex scenes a little far-fetched. And this one in particular was a bit too much.” I admitted. He just shook his head and flipped a few pages further. He read a few sentences and burst out laughing.

“The author just compared Olaf’s penis to Yggdrasil. Isn’t that the tree that binds all the realms together? Thor definitely needs to see this. That’s a scary penis.” Steve was laughing so hard there were tears streaming down his face. My embarrassment vanished and relief washed over me. He was actually okay with the book. It could have gone either way, really. 

“Yeah, that kinda wrecked the mood for me, to be honest.” I giggled. Steve put the book down and kissed me. In a totally not-trashy romance novel way, thank god.

“Let’s go for a run.” He pulled me to my feet. I pulled him back toward me and ran my hands up his chest.

“I’d rather visit the nine realms with you,” I leered. He laughed and pulled me close.

“I’m not doing that uncomfortable thing.” He whispered as his lips met mine. I laughed again, breaking away from him. He nuzzled my neck, and started tugging at my scrub top.

“That’s fine, I’m not that flexible.” I admitted. He struggled with my scrub top for a couple more seconds and gave up, tearing it down the front and then down my arms and off. He dropped it on the floor and pulled his own shirt off and threw it in the same corner. He pushed me toward my bunk, unbuckling his belt and dropping his pants on the way. I shimmied out of my scrub pants and tugged him down onto the bed. He lost his balance on the way down and smacked his head into mine. I saw stars.

“Oh god, are you okay, Lex?” He cradled my head between his hands and looked down on me in concern. I nodded and pulled him back down to kiss him again. He tried to reposition his arm, and managed to scrape my arm against the wool blanket, tearing at some of the scabs from my burns. I shrieked and pulled away, and in the process, kneed him right in his Yggdrasil. He gasped and rolled off me.

“Shit, Steve, I’m so sorry!” I gasped.

“Maybe we should just go for a run.” He suggested. I cringed and kissed his forehead.

“I think you might be right.”


	19. Chapter 19

Steve had a quirky and amusing distrust of treadmills. He’d been remarkably quick to pick up technological advances. He could text like he was born doing it, ran a computer with the same level of incompetence I did, had figured out Netflix without a second tutorial and had actually superseded my abilities in the stereo surround sound department. I think because he was so intelligent, the desire to catch up to the modern world had been very strong. Every new thing he learned was adding to an arsenal of knowledge that put him above the average person, and helped him regain his place as the super soldier he was. 

But he was seriously and profoundly terrified of the treadmill. The first time we’d gone to the gym to run, I’d helped him program it on a random hills setting, thinking that would be closest to what we’d run when I was finishing med school. When the treadmill started to rise for the elevation change, he’d shrieked like a 12-year-old girl and leaped off it. My response had been to laugh so hard I lost my gait and shot off the back of the treadmill like an idiot, which didn’t help at all. He’d alternated between glaring at me giggling on the floor, and glaring at the two treadmills as they ran through the hills setting.

Since then, whenever we ran together, it was through the cargo bay and hangar. I enjoyed it because every day the course we took was different, so I didn’t get bored. I found I cheated as much as possible on the treadmill just because it was so monotonous. 

Steve was pushing harder than usual while we ran. I was feeling a certain amount of frustration myself, and was hoping a hard run would exhaust me enough that I was able to concentrate on something other than the way the sweat beaded on his forehead while he ran, or how nice his backside looked if I just fell behind a couple of steps. Despite the distraction of sweaty Steve’s sweaty running hotness, I pushed to keep up, hoping we’d run hard enough that I would forget about the failed attempt at intimacy in my bunk.

It didn’t work, and when Steve walked me back to my bunk, I hauled him inside, and shoved him against the door as it swung shut.

“That didn’t help.” I balled my hands in the front of his shirt and pulled him to me, tasting his sweat as our mouths met. His arms slid around my waist and one of his hands raked down my hip. I pulled him toward the bathroom, stepping on the heels of my shoes to take them off as we went. We pulled apart in the bathroom long enough to drop our workout clothes in a sweaty heap on the floor before slamming back into the wall trying to get back to one another. I reached into the shower to turn the faucet on without breaking the kiss. I turned away to check the temperature and he nuzzled the back of my neck, wrapping his arms around me from behind. I turned into his embrace and pulled his face back to mine, our mouths meeting with desperate need. I backed into the shower and he pushed us under the spray.

XXX

I woke up snuggled under Steve’s arm, my leg pinning his to the bed. He was obviously awake, absently combing his fingers through my hair. The shower had been a little too hot, and we’d been distracted. As a result, my skin was feeling tight and stretched thin. I kissed Steve’s chest and ran my fingers through the soft patch of hair between his pecs. 

“See that clear bottle on my nightstand? Can you pass it to me?” I asked. He reached across and grabbed it.

“What is it?” He asked.

“Vitamin E for the burns. It helps the healing, and hopefully will minimize any scarring. The skin on my arms is feeling tight.” I reached up to take the bottle. He was holding it just out of my reach.

“I’ll do it.” He offered. He poured some oil into his hand and tentatively rubbed it onto my arm. When I didn’t flinch, he spread his hand across the rough skin, gently massaging the oil in. He stopped at the pale handprint, and I saw his jaw clench.

“Is that ever going to heal?” He was more careful of the skin where the frostbite was, but stayed in the one spot massaging the oil in for longer. 

“I don’t know. It’s not like regular frostbite. Maybe because it’s supernatural?”

“You know, I’ve never wanted to kill anyone. But for Loki, I might make an exception.”

“Aw, thanks.” I stretched up and kissed his nose. He smiled and shook his head before going back to his task. It was such a comfortable setting, so very domestic, and despite the reality of being crammed into a single bed on the helicarrier, I felt comfortable and safe and very loved. I stretched and laid my head back on his chest while he worked away on my arm.

“You know, Steve, if you aren’t careful, I might just fall in love with you.” I murmured through a yawn.

“You say that like it would be a bad thing.” He teased. I shrugged.

“It would leave you holding all the cards.” I replied. The thought of falling in love terrified me. Steve must have sensed it.

“I’m very good at poker.” He offered, “Sometimes you think I’m completely collected, Lex, but I just have one helluva poker face.”

“What do you mean?” I was confused. He stopped working the vitamin E into my skin.

“I had to keep up a front during the war, so that my men wouldn’t see how affected I was by a lot of things. I learned how to keep my team and myself safe. They meant the world to me, so Hydra couldn’t find that out.” He explained. I sat up, waiting for more.

“Okay, “ I said. He shook his head.

“Lex, what I’m trying to say is that I –“ He was cut off by an overhead announcement.

“Dr. Richmond to the infirmary, stat. Richmond, infirmary, stat.”

As quickly as the announcement came, our moment was over. I dragged my fingers through my hair and tied it back, pulled on some clothes and headed to the door. I looked back and saw Steve, looking sad, alone in my bed. I ran back and kissed him on the cheek.

“See you tonight?” I asked. He smiled and pulled me back for a proper kiss and a slap on the ass.

“Go. Text me when you’re done.”

XXX


	20. Chapter 20

I expected at least a little excitement to greet me as I strode through the infirmary door. Instead, Derek and Jane were sitting at the desk sharing a National Inquirer, and Dr. Carson was nowhere to be seen.

“I was called stat?” I directed the query to the nurses. Derek looked up from the tabloid and nodded toward the curtained bay.

“That one thinks he’s super funny. Sorry, Doc. He did something to the comm and we couldn’t cancel the page.” A flash of irritation crossed his face. I sighed. Stark was days early for his physical. I should have known he wasn’t intending to come when he’d been booked.

“Stark, you better be here for your physical, or I swear to god-“ I flipped open the curtain and shrieked. He was sitting on the exam table, naked as a jaybird. I threw the chart across his lap and turned around.

“I could have sworn you were a doctor, Richmond.” He taunted me. I threw a blue paper sheet over my shoulder at him.

“Doesn’t mean I need to see your junk. Jesus, Tony.” I heard the paper crinkling and judged it safe to turn back to him. Without another word, I went to work, and made quick work of the initial assessment. Tony was filled with smart-ass remarks, trying to break my composure again, but I set my jaw and ignored him. Finally, I took a quick look at his chest.

“So tell me about this arc reactor in your chest.” I peered at it while I listened to his heart. His heart was a mess. It sounded off, just a little. Like it wasn’t quite beating properly. There were limitations to how I could assess him though. He couldn’t have an MRI because of the electromagnet and the shrapnel in his chest. 

“It powers the electromagnet that keeps the shrapnel from penetrating my heart.” He was suddenly all business.

“And we can’t get the shrapnel out?” I asked. He shook his head.

“I’ve seen a few doctors now about it. They all say this is it.” It certainly explained his fatalistic approach to life.

“Have the symptoms of the palladium poisoning ceased?” 

“Ages ago. No further issues. Is all that in this chart?” He pulled the folder from my hand and started flipping through it, settling into the progress notes from previous SHIELD doctors.

“You probably shouldn’t be reading-“

“Stark is a PITA with narcissistic personality disorder. I know what narcissistic personality disorder is. That’s probably a good diagnosis, actually. But what the hell is a PITA? I mean, other than a bread envelope?” He looked at me expectantly. I coughed to cover a laugh and tried not to blush.

“It’s medical shorthand.” I cringed.

“For?”

“Pain in the ass.” I bit my lip, trying desperately to hide my amusement. Tony looked at me, looked back in the chart, flipped a couple more pages, and then looked back up at me.

“This isn’t your writing. Do you agree with the diagnosis?” There was a hint of a smile in his eyes, and I grinned.

“I haven’t worked with you enough yet, Tony. But I suspect that Dr. McTavish was probably spot on the money.”

He laughed, and stood up, the blue paper sheet dropping on the floor. I spun around again to avoid seeing him in the altogether.

“No ill effects from the fall?” It was awkward and weird to continue the assessment with my back turned, but I wasn’t going to give in to his weird game.

“Nothing.” His answer was too quick. He was lying. That was interesting.

“Nightmares?” I guessed.

“You and Cap are well matched.” He avoided my question. I restrained the urge to turn and question him.

“Oh?”

“You’re both insufferable prudes.” He smacked my ass with his chart, “It should be fun to break you – I mean, work with you.” I turned around and took the chart, and then took a good long look at him. All of him. I had to hand it to him, he wasn’t shy or ashamed, and he really had no reason to be. Despite not being the oldest of the Avengers, as both Steve and Thor had him beat by decades, he was physiologically the oldest of the group. He was in pretty amazing shape. Still had a 6-pack, nicely defined pecs, excellent shoulders. It struck me that really, all the Avengers were quite delicious. I let my gaze roam as my mind wandered, trying to call Tony’s bluff. It didn’t work. He just stood there, naked, letting me stare. I picked up his pants and tossed them to him.

“Neither of us is as uptight as you’d like to think.” I turned and left the assessment bay. I was sitting at the desk writing up my notes when he left. He stopped at the desk briefly.

“There’s more to you than I initially thought. I’ll see you in the lab.” He winked at Jane as he left the infirmary.

“What’s that about?” Derek asked.

“I’m going to work with Stark on some med tech. It’s super cool.” I sat down and explained about the MRI I’d looked at and all the different ways I thought we could use it. Dr. Carson might not have been onboard, but by the time I left the infirmary, the nurses all were. 

XXX

I was poring over the information Dr. Banner had given me about the Hulk with absolute fascination. His reports were really thorough and detailed, but they were only about the Hulk. There was nothing about his own medical history in them. I tried to search the SHIELD database, but hit a wall there too. Nothing on Bruce Banner, but endless reports about the Hulk. It was frustrating. I had just made a frustrated noise when Dr. Banner stepped into the infirmary.

“Physical?” He looked nervous. I jumped up.

“The first assessment bay. There’s a blue sheet on the table, strip down and cover yourself. I’ll be in as soon as I grab your chart. Did you still feel Romanoff should be here?” I pointed to the bay where I wanted him. He nodded. I quickly paged Natasha and sat back down at the desk to wait. Bruce was worried for nothing. He was the model patient. Natasha waited just beyond the curtain, but she really wasn’t necessary.

“Bruce, we don’t have any medical records on you.” I was wrapping up the assessment. He furrowed his brow.

“I sent over all my research.”

“Which is all on the Hulk. None of it is about you. There must be medical records on you somewhere, Bruce.”

“Somewhere, yeah.” It was pretty non-commital, as responses go.

“Look, Bruce, I’m not going to pretend to try to understand what your life must be like. You’ve got a Jekyll and Hyde thing going. But I’m not as interested in Hyde as I am in Jekyll, okay?” I offered. Bruce’s head snapped up, his eyes narrowed.

“How can you say that?” He demanded.

“Because you’ve given us all the data on the Hulk, Bruce. But we have nothing on you. How can SHIELD give you ongoing support if we have no idea of the baseline of health for the regular guy who is normally around?” It seemed pretty straightforward to me. Bruce shook his head.

“But it’s the other guy who is important to SHIELD.” He stated. I sighed and put down the chart. I sat down on a stool facing him.

“Okay, maybe. But Bruce Banner is pretty important to the other guy, right? So I need to know how to take care of Bruce Banner.” I met his angry gaze and stared him down until it softened.

“I’ll forward my records to you. But you, Lex. Not that dipshit CMO.” He conceded.

“Deal.” I held out my hand to seal the agreement, and Bruce shook it.

I had no sooner finished Dr. Banner’s physical than Agent Romanoff offered to have hers done. Dr. Carson appeared out of nowhere as I was preparing.

“I’ll do this one.” He attempted to take the chart from me. I raised an eyebrow and refused to hand it over.

“I don’t think so.” I snorted. It wasn’t terribly ladylike, but I’d come to view Natasha as a friend. I wasn’t going to let Dr. Carson take advantage of his position to ogle her. He took the chart from my hand anyhow.

“Regardless of how much you may think Director Fury prefers you, I am still the CMO, and I will do Agent Romanoff’s assessment.” He snapped. He must have forgotten her reputation for being terrifying. I wasn’t about to remind him. I retreated to the desk and finished charting my assessment of Dr. Banner. There was a suspicious silence from behind the curtain, and I couldn’t help but look up, even though I knew I wouldn’t be able to see anything. I could hear, however, and soon enough I heard what sounded like a slap, followed by some cursing and then a loud snap.

Natasha pulled back the curtain, wearing nothing but a hospital gown and looked pointedly at me.

“I just broke his radius and ulna. You’re going to need to set and cast him. A few rounds of cyproterone acetate wouldn’t hurt either. I’ll wait for you over there.” She gestured to the other side of the infirmary, and stole the tabloid off the nurse’s station before stalking away. I smothered a giggle and headed over to Dr. Carson. He was clutching his arm and cursing. Jane followed with the cast tray. I quickly assessed the injury and sure enough, could palpate clean breaks to the radius and ulna. I gave a quick tug to set the bone. Dr. Carson screamed.

“Jesus Christ, Richmond! What kind of fucking barbarian are you? Get me some goddamn pain control, you stupid bitch!” He yelled. I ignored him and wrapped the first layer of felt around his arm. Jane held the arm straight while Dr. Carson continued to berate me. I rolled the plaster over the felt, and smoothed it out, blocking out Dr. Carson’s vitriol. As I completed the cast, I ordered some pain control and dismissed Jane to get it. 

The curtain opened, and I was expecting Jane with the pain meds. Instead, Director Fury glared down at Dr. Carson and myself. Natasha stood behind him, hands on her hips, looking satisfied.

“Dr. Carson, sexual harassment is taken very seriously at SHIELD.”

“I’m sure I don’t know-“

“Don’t start. If Agent Romanoff said you were sexually harassing her, it’s time for you to pack your bags. SHIELD no longer needs your services.”

“Are you firing me?”

“On termination, your contract becomes void. SHIELD will no longer be responsible for the payment of your student debt.” Fury continued, ignoring Dr. Carson.

“Are you kidding me?” He stood up and stepped into Fury’s personal space. Fury sat him back down.

“Your record will be submitted to the licensing body where you opt to set up practice. Please have your things packed and be ready for transport to the Hub in 45 minutes. Dr. Morrison will assume the position of acting CMO effective immediately, until Dr. Richmond finishes the project she’s been seconded to.” Fury took Dr. Carson by the arm and escorted him out of the infirmary. I met Romanoff’s eye and fought the urge to giggle. She winked and nodded toward the assessment bay.

“What did he do?” I asked as I drew the curtain.

“You don’t want to know. It was vulgar.” She looked disgusted. I shook my head.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have let-“

“Don’t. He needed to go. I was happy to show him the door.” She held out her arm to me so I could draw her blood. Natasha was all business, and offered information for her chart before I could think to ask for some of it. She had a rather complex medical history, so it took longer than I’d expected, but I got the impression I was the first doctor she’d trusted with some of it. 

When she left the infirmary, I flopped down in a chair to finish my charting. I only had Steve left to assess and I could pretty much do that from memory, if I wanted to. In fact, I almost felt as though it would be smarter to do that, than have the temptation to ‘play doctor’ take over during an assessment.


	21. Chapter 21

It probably looked like I was the most boring person in the world, but I was stretched out with my legs up on a chair in the lounge studying up on advances in MRI technology. It may have made me the most boring person in the world because I was actually finding it really interesting. I wasn’t doing it because I was boring though, but because Tony Stark’s enormous brain intimidated the hell out of me, and I wanted to ensure I would actually be able to contribute to this project I’d been assigned to work on. So I was immersed in a textbook on medical imaging, and giving off the impression to the other employees hanging out in the lounge that I was married to my work.

I looked up when a large steaming mug appeared beside me with a plunk. Coffee. I turned around, trying to figure out who’d brought it. I had been so focused on my research that I hadn’t noticed. I smiled when I recognized Steve across the room, pouring a second cup. He made his way back over, and lifted my feet off the chair before he sat and dropped them into his lap. He pulled off my shoes and started to rub them. Heaven.

“No Olaf today?” He teased. I grinned.

“I wish. I’m feeling a little overwhelmed by this new assignment.” I took a drink and savoured the rich flavour. Steve made an amazing cup of coffee. You could always tell when he had been in the lounge; it was that much better than everyone else’s. He kept rubbing my feet; it was as though he’d figured out I’d been run off them all day.

“Feel like you need to study hard and impress teacher?” He asked. I nodded.

“Don’t tell Stark that though. He’s arrogant enough without the extra flattery.” I leaned back and closed my eyes.

“Well, I think you should put the book away and come watch a movie.”

“What’s playing?” I asked, tempted.

“Barton said to tell you that my television education is lacking, and I need to see Firefly. He loaned me the DVD.” He pulled the case out of the side pocket of his cargo pants. I pulled my feet off his lap and closed my textbook.

“If you come in first thing for your physical tomorrow, it’s a deal. And you’d better have popcorn.” I collected my things and finished my coffee.

“Have I ever failed you in the popcorn department?” He stood and took our cups to the sink and washed them up.

“Never.”

XXX

I jolted awake, screaming. I was sitting on the floor, in the dark, but the image of the car exploding was burned into my retinas. I took a deep breath, and closed my eyes, willing the picture to go away. I kept feeling my body hit the ground, over and over again, and could feel the panic rising in my chest. My arms itched and ached, and I rubbed them to remind me that the scabbing was all healed.

I was totally disoriented. I wasn’t in my bunk. The room was almost completely black, but there was an eerie blue glow casting across the room. I closed my eyes again, and forced myself to breathe. I nearly jumped out of my skin when a hand reached out and touched me. I recoiled and crabwalked away from it, bumping into something. I heard things falling over, and let out a tiny squeal. Arms wrapped around me from behind and pulled me close.

“When did the nightmares start again, Lex?” It was Steve. I let out a sigh of relief and relaxed into his embrace.

“They’ve never stopped. It’s the explosion now.” Relaxing against him had allowed my body to process the fear, and suddenly I was weeping. I rubbed the back of my hand against my nose, and sniffed, grateful for the darkness hiding the ugly cry face. Steve pulled me closer, rocking me in his arms.

“You are safe with me, Lex. I’ll talk to Fury about shared quarters.” He murmured. I stiffened.

“No.”

“Why not? Lex, you only sleep when we are together. You can’t continue on like this.” He argued.

“We can’t live together.” I was determined.

“Who’s old-fashioned now?” He exclaimed. I pulled away from him, and groped across the table for the light. I stared him down when it came on.

“I will not share quarters with you. Not because I am old-fashioned. Because I don’t want to hear whispers about how the only reason I’m around is because I’m Captain Fucking America’s girlfriend. I am not going to lose my identity to you through the convenience of a shared bed.” I blurted. Steve’s expression closed off.

“I didn’t realize it was such a hardship to be with me.” He sounded defeated. My heart broke.

“That’s not what I’m saying.”

“Then what?”

“Steve, you don’t get it. When you and I are together, we are just us. You’re a guy named Steve, I’m a girl named Lex. Neither of us is part of SHIELD, you’re not a superhero, I’m not some fancy ass trauma doc. We’re just two people who rub along really well. As soon as there’s anyone else around, you are Captain America, and I’m just the infirmary doctor who is sleeping with Captain America.” 

“Who cares what anyone else thinks?” It would be exactly what I would have said, were our situations reversed. I knew I was being insane, and yet, somehow, couldn’t stop myself.

“What happens if we split?”

“I don’t see that happening.” He shrugged. My eyes filled with tears again.

“But if we do. You still get to be Captain America. I get to be your cast-off.” I found it very hard to admit that particular insecurity.

“Are you breaking up with me, Lex?” Steve’s eyes widened.

“Oh my god, no! I just, I’m scared we’re moving too fast.”

“I’m not asking you to marry me, Lex. I’m suggesting you might get some much needed rest if we share quarters.” The statement knocked the wind out of me. I backed away again.

“Wow. That’s kind of cold.” I knew I was being an idiot, but I said it anyhow.

“What the hell, Lex? You don’t want to share a room with me because people might talk, but you’re going to get your feelings hurt because I said it’s not about marrying you? Jesus, do you want me to propose, just so you can get a good night’s sleep?” Steve raked his hand through his hair and shook his head. His voice was raised, and in the dim light I could see that he was angry.

“I don’t know!” I cried, and the tears finally fell, “Everything about our relationship confuses the hell out of me. I never know how long we’re going to be together, I worry constantly that you’re going to get killed, I’m terrified people think I’m only with you because of who you are. I never tell you these things because I’m convinced you would think I’m completely insane because I don’t even really know what we’re doing. I’ve just been stamping down all my insecurities and enjoying the time we have because I enjoy you so much.” I was rambling. And crying. And there was enough light that he could see my ugly cry face now. I heard Steve sigh, and then was gathered into his arms.

“Lex, I love you. Does anything else matter?” He kissed the top of my head.

“Pardon?” I was dumbfounded.

“I love you.” He tipped my face up to his and wiped away my tears, “I love you, so why does the other stuff matter?”

I couldn’t think of a single answer.

“You love me?” I asked, stupidly.

“I love you.” He nodded.

“I didn’t think that-“

“Old-fashioned, remember?” He smiled. I leaned up into his arms and kissed him.

“If that’s old-fashioned, then I am too.”


	22. Chapter 22

I collected up the pile of files and resisted the urge to skip up to the bridge. I had finally squared away Steve’s physical, and was happy to turn over the personnel files on all the Avengers to Director Fury. Fury was in quiet head-to-head conversation with Maria Hill, so I waited at the computer console for him to finish. He noticed me and broke away from the conversation.

“Dr. Richmond. I presume that pile of files is completed physicals?” He asked. I nodded and handed them over.

“Sir, if you have a moment, I have some recommendations for medical.” I stated. He nodded, prompting me to continue.

“Sir, we don’t e-chart, and I think we should be. A paper chart is only as good as the information in it, and in emergency situations, if the personnel needing medical attention are not where their charts are, it can mean the difference between life and death. I know that sounds dramatic, but if we’d been able to pull a chart on Coulson electronically as soon as he was injured, maybe we could have done more for him.” I suggested. Fury nodded, the hint of a sad smile flitting across his features.

“I will admit, Dr. Richmond, the way SHIELD medical services runs is largely a mystery to me. I don’t want to recommend you to a management position as you are far too valuable an asset in the field, but if there is something we can trial here, and work out the kinks before instituting across SHEILD, I am in full support. Did you have a specific plan?”

“Everyone on board runs around with tablets. There are tons of hospitals running their charting on tablet technology these days. I can do a little research, and talk to Stark about what the he can recommend or provide. A paper copy of personnel charts can be kept where necessary, but a file that can be transferred from location to location is just so much more helpful. And won’t take up the same kind of space. We have a 12 by 16 room in the infirmary entirely dedicated to personnel charts archives.” I explained.

“Read Stark into your idea, and use the time you’ve been given with him to work on this project as well then, Richmond. You’re starting with him today?”

“Yes Sir.”

“See me on Saturday and let me know how you are progressing.” He dismissed me. I turned to head to the lab for my first day working with Tony Stark. My stomach was tight and I have no problem at all admitting I was nervous as hell. The man was brilliant. Attention span of a gerbil on crack, but brilliant regardless, and the thought of working with him made me a little dizzy. I was, in all likelihood, horrifyingly outmatched by Stark. I was med school smart, which wasn’t stupid, but Tony Stark was a genius. A wave of nausea hit me and I wished I hadn’t had the bagel I’ll wolfed down.

“Richmond, wait.” Fury stopped me as I reached the bridge door. I turned.

“I received a request from Captain Rogers this morning regarding accommodation.” He disclosed. I nodded, a flush creeping up my cheek.

“Sir?”

“I’ve approved it, conditional to you resuming counseling sessions. Captain Rogers has all the information you will need for the transition to your new quarters.” He dismissed me again. A few crewmembers on the bridge had stopped what they were doing and were obviously listening in. I fought back the flush on my cheeks and nodded before dashing from the bridge. 

XXX

I walked into the lab and it was like walking into a nightclub. Stark had done something to the lighting and it was flashing and pulsing along with rhythm of the music blaring through the room. He was standing at his heads up display, with his back to the door, dancing in place while he flicked through some complicated blue prints. The bridge of the song swelled and he stopped working, did some fancy arm flailing and spun around on one foot. I thought he might stop when he saw me, but he just nodded and kept dancing. I stood there, rooted to the spot. I shouldn’t really have been surprised, and honestly, he looked like he was accomplishing a lot, so it’s not like I didn’t approve. It made me feel more comfortable to be working with him though, knowing he was so relaxed. 

He did another spin and saw that I hadn’t moved and danced over to me doing some weird step that looked like it had come out of Saturday Night Fever. He grabbed my hand and spun me over to the console, and then bumped his hip against mine, waving his arms in the air. I couldn’t help but laugh, but wasn’t quite relaxed enough to join in the fun. He shook his head, and made a gesture in the air. The music stopped.

“Richmond, there is a mandatory morning dance party in this lab. You must dance. I can’t work with you if you can’t follow lab protocols.” He deadpanned. I laughed.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t aware.” I took my lab coat off and draped it over a chair on the far side of the room.

“And you can’t wear scrubs in here. I hate them. If you’re going to be one of Stark’s Dancing Girls (trademark pending), you have to dress sexier than that.” He teased. I rolled my eyes.

“Right. I’ll make sure I wear a bikini tomorrow.”

“Make it really inappropriate. I work better in those conditions.” His grin somehow became broader. Probably in relief that I wasn’t as uptight as he maybe suspected.  
“Good to know. Skanky latex peekaboo bikini is standard lab protective protocol.” I nodded. He laughed again.

“We can’t start working until you dance, Richmond. Let’s go, we don’t have all day.” He waved his hand and the music started again and then he crossed his arms and rocked back on one hip, waiting. I rolled my eyes and sighed. 

“You asked for it.” I stepped away from him and stretched. I cracked my shoulders and met his gaze. Without cracking so much as a hint of a smile, I busted out into the ‘running man’. He cracked up.

“Wait, was that enough? How about a little sprinkler?” I popped my arms up and waved my one arm across in front of me, “Or the lawn mower?” I leaned over to ‘start the mower’ and Stark broke. 

“You have to stop! No more dancing!” He turned away. Damn good thing he broke when he did, I had very little left in my ‘weird dance’ repertoire. He cut the music.

“Please say no more morning dance parties.” I begged, and sat down on a stool across the table from him. There’s something about the Tony Stark smirk that makes you really not want to trust whatever he says next. Like some sort of mischievous child up to no good, but promising to behave because he knows that’s what you want to hear. He gave me the smirk, and nodded. I cringed inwardly, dreading what might greet me the next morning. I walked over to the coffee maker and poured myself a cup.

“The MRI lacks functionality in a lot of ways, Richmond. I think we could build a better imaging unit that would complement what we’re trying to develop more appropriately. I looked at some of the scans in the database and they aren’t fantastic for 3D imaging. We can definitely do better.” He changed gears immediately when he decided he was done screwing around. 

“Oh, we’re working now?” I returned to my stool and sat down. 

“Unless you wanted to dance some more?”

“Work it is.” I opened the Medical Imaging textbook I’d been studying and we started discussing what improvements could be made to the imagine technology we had access to. Tony’s brain was a masterpiece. I would never say it to his face, but the speed at which his mind moved was astonishing to me. I would say ‘wouldn’t it be cool if?’ and he would be halfway through figuring out how to make it happen before I could finish my sentence. It was really no wonder he could be so wild and unpredictable. I don’t know that I would particularly enjoy living in his brain every day.

Steve popped in at lunch with sandwiches, which was random and kind of sweet. We sat down and ate quietly, which was apparently highly offensive to Tony.

“Don’t you two speak to each other? How can you be revoltingly romantic without words?” He pulled a stool up and took a bite out of my sandwich. I caught Steve’s eye and winked.

“And people say I’m naïve.” Steve teased. Tony raised an eyebrow.

“What’s that, Cap?” He asked.

“Do you talk all the time when you’re alone with your best girl?” Steve’s question was pointed. Tony furrowed his brow and said nothing, his look of confusion spreading.

“Steve is too much of a gentleman, but what he’s getting at is that most people don’t talk when they’re busy in the bedroom.” I filled in. Tony’s eyes widened and then he laughed.

“This is lunch, not some illicit assignation. Unless it was supposed to be? Oh god, I just ate part of your sandwich. Are we having a threesome?” He stood up and faked a full body shiver before heading back to his computer console. Steve smiled and said nothing as he finished his sandwich.

“Fury told me you’d spoken to him about quarters.” I stated, my voice low. Steve nodded and shot a look toward Tony.

“Yeah. Did he tell you he approved it?” He asked. I nodded. He collected our garbage and kissed me on the forehead, “I’ll move your stuff this afternoon.” He headed out of the lab. Tony looked up.

“You guys are boring.” He stated.

“Oh?” 

“You’re boring. You eat sandwiches. And you run together. And watch movies. You’re boring. I get that he’s a 90-year-old man, but you are a young woman. Live a little.”

“I’m touched that you’re so concerned.” I replied dryly. 

“Seriously, Lex. You are what, 25-“

“29, but who’s counting?”

“Okay, 29. When was the last time you were out partying and woke up in a strange country with a guy name Sven rubbing your back?”

“Considering I’m not a billionaire? Never.” I laughed. 

“We need to remedy that.” He determined.

“We don’t. I’m good.”

“When was the last time you were in Vegas?” He demanded.

“Never?”

“You’ve never been to Vegas? Have you ever drunk a beer? Kissed a boy? Had sex somewhere other than a bed? Partied with the Maxim girls?”

“Never been to Vegas. Wouldn’t want to party with the Maxim girls.” 

“Wait, does that mean –“

“Tony, enough. I am happy. I love Steve.”

“You were recruited to be an agent, right?” He changed topics.

“Why?”

“I just think someone with the temperament to be an agent shouldn’t be babysitting Cap.”

“I’m not babysitting, Tony. And I didn’t have the temperament to be an agent.”

“Sure you did. You just wrecked your shoulder. By the way, that’s been fixed. How long do you think until Fury pulls you from medical to work as an agent?” He asked. 

“I’d refuse. I like my job. Besides, SHIELD is out a med school education if they turn me into a field agent. And there’s a greater need for docs now that we’ve had all the shenanigans of the last couple of years. And with that, can we talk about the e-charting system we need to develop? I would like to get started on it, and I have an appointment at 1400.” I sent up a silent prayer that Tony would take the damn hint and stop dissecting my relationship with Steve. It was making me nauseated and uncomfortable.

“Sure.” He flipped open a paper chart and cringed. 

“I would like to use tablet technology for charting and maintaining employee health records. Is that feasible?” I asked.

“Easy. We’ll just need to develop a health management program and then install it. I’ll need a list of headings for charting info to go into, and we’ll have to merge some database management software into it.”

“We’ll need mainframe access to lock into various servers for information of medical records.” I explained.

“What about Barton? He’s nice, single.”

“Tony! Enough!” I snapped and pointed at the chart.


	23. Chapter 23

I was dripping with sweat and face down on the sparring mat. Natasha had her knee in my back and was giggling. 

“You are improving, Lex.” She lifted her knee and allowed me to roll onto my back.

“Doesn’t feel like it.” I complained as I pushed myself to a sitting position. She laughed again and looked around the gym. Her eyes focused on someone over on the treadmills. Before I could ask what she was up to, she was off and headed toward him. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know what was going to happen next. She hopped up on the console of the treadmill beside him and started talking to him, swinging her legs back and forth and twirling her hair with her fingers. I strained to hear what she was saying, but it was no use. Whatever she was up to, she was playing to the lowest common denominator, leaning in when she spoke so that he couldn’t help but stare down her top. She nodded in my direction and he suddenly smiled. I waved and offered a weak smile from my spot on the floor. He stopped running, toweled off and headed toward me. Natasha broke into a huge grin behind his back, hopped off the treadmill and followed along.

“Hey sweetheart. Your friend says you’re having some issues with take downs.” He leaned over to offer me a hand. I took it and let him pull me to my feet. 

“This is Mike. Mike says he’s really awesome at hand-to-hand, and he can help us figure out what we’re doing wrong. Isn’t that awesome, Lexy?” Natasha was speaking with what I could only describe as a bimbo voice. I gaped at her.

“Natalie says you guys are both lacking in upper body strength and aren’t quite sure where to start?” He asked. I was actually speechless. Natasha winked from behind Mike’s shoulder. I decided to play along.

“Uh, yeah. Totally.” I hoped I sounded as hopelessly lost as I actually felt. He grinned.

“I don’t get why Fury wants secretaries to be worried about hand-to-hand, but I’ll help you girls out. Why don’t you head to the centre of the mat, sweetcheeks?” Mike nodded his head toward where he was asking me to move. I turned to go, and he smacked me on the ass. I turned around and without even thinking, grabbed his arm, twisted and threw him over my shoulder. He let out a grunt as he landed on his back. I brought my foot down across his throat and held him down.

“See, Richmond? I told you that you were improving. Don’t doubt me next time.” Natasha laughed and clapped me on the shoulder.

“Jesus, Romanoff, you could have warned me.” I lifted my foot, and Mike sat up, rubbing the shoulder I’d twisted to throw him. His eyes widened.

“Romanoff?” He exclaimed, “Romanoff Black Widow Romanoff?”   
“That’s the one.” I nodded. He looked over at me.

“Who the fuck are you then?” He glared at me as he pushed himself back onto his feet.

“Me? I’m the doctor.” I smiled. Natasha laughed even harder. Mike stormed back to the treadmill. When he saw we were still watching him, he flipped us the finger. We both dissolved into laughter. I felt much better about myself thanks to Natasha’s little object lesson. 

“I think we’re done for the morning, Lex. I’m sure Tony is anxiously waiting your arrival in the lab.” Natasha dismissed me. I hit the shower and headed to work.

I wouldn’t say Tony was anxiously awaiting me, but he had definitely been doing some work in my absence. When I walked into the lab, he tossed a tablet at me. Luckily, I caught it. There were a number of little medical icons in the menu, all with ridiculous names. I touched the icon that said ‘Lexy’s Big Adventure’. 

The app opened to a full monitor. Heart rate, blood pressure, temperature, oxygen saturation – it was all there, and was already monitoring someone. I looked at the ECG trace and tilted my head toward Tony.

“Where are the leads attached?” I asked. He flipped his shirt up. There were six wireless electrodes on his chest. I walked toward him and adjusted the placement of one of the electrodes and looked back at the tablet. The wave started looking a little more normal.

“Well?” He asked. I nodded.

“This is awesome. When did you come up with this?” I replied.

“I was thinking about all the other applications of tablet technology, and figured wireless was the tech we should be working toward.”

“Can multiple patients be monitored on each tablet?”

“Any patient being monitored can be pulled up on multiple tablets.” He nodded. I closed the app and opened the next one. It was the e-chart I’d wanted. I sat down and flipped through it, nodding.

“You can use the stylus to write orders directly on the tablet, and it will interpret the writing and give a written order for you to confirm. One of the nurses in the infirmary said one of her peeves is trying to decipher doctor’s orders.” He offered. I nodded, and wrote a test order on the screen. It easily translated it into typeface and asked me to confirm the order.

“My writing is quite neat. Can it do really bad writing?” I asked.

“It’s a little hit or miss right now. But it’s adaptive, and can learn to recognize a specific hand, so will go through past orders to attempt to transcribe it more accurately. Ultimately, that’s what the confirmation step is there for though. To ensure the doctor is checking the order accuracy before posting it to the nurses.” Tony explained. It was actually a brilliant idea, unsurprisingly. I swiped through the rest of the charting app, nodding appreciatively.

“This is brilliant, Tony. I can’t believe it only took you a couple of days.”

“I am a genius, Doc.” He shrugged. I laughed.

“Right. How’s the MRI tech coming along? Or are you finished all that too?” 

“No, that’s something I’ll need more of your input. So let’s get at it, shall we?” He pulled up a number of holographic displays and started breaking windows out. I was confused and lost. After such a triumphant morning in the gym, I was feeling like a failure again.

XXX

I dropped a stack of tablets on the nurse’s station desk and called over the on-duty staff. I passed a tablet to each staff member.

“Here’s what Stark and I have been working on. Each staff member will have a tablet, regardless of whether they are on or off duty, and each one will be locked with a password specific to the staff member. So you are responsible for your tablet at all times. You can access anything that you have clearance to access in a chart. Labs, radiography, doctor’s orders, any progress notes, it’s all in there. Each patient chart is linked with their permanent chart, so you can also access historical reports for comparison. You can write directly onto the tablet with your stylus, so if you are leaving orders, or charting progress, just write like you normally would, following the lines, and the software will transcribe what you’ve written and ask you to confirm it. It will stamp the chart with your electronic signature once you’ve confirmed your charting. Because this is all in beta, if the tablet senses a mistake, it will open a report form for you to fill out, so that Stark and I can work out the bugs. If you find something you don’t like about the performance of the software, there’s a little cranky face at the bottom left corner of the tablet. Clicking that will allow you to submit a report on that incident or item you are unhappy with. We are the only medical services using this tech, so we get to shape it to how we would like to see it work. Director Fury is allowing us to be the beta and development team. It’s pretty cool.” I explained. We worked through the test charts that were on the tablets and I spent the rest of the afternoon answering questions and showing the tech off. The staff were very excited by it. Dr. Morrison was positively giddy. 

“Can we put games on this?” He teased.

“Actually, this is a proprietary piece of equipment, developed by Stark Industries for SHIELD use. So there’s no Angry Birds yet available for it.” I laughed, “Although Stark is talking about an Iron Man game. And for some reason, Galaga.”

“How’s the MRI project coming?” Dr. Morrison asked.

“It’s actually way more work than I think either of us thought. He wants to redevelop how MRIs work, and his theory is actually awesome. So now, first, we need to develop a better MRI. Then we start working with the holographic imaging. We should have beta software for the existing MRI by the end of the month though. Just what we’re developing is going to work better and faster.” I explained. I stayed purposefully vague, as Start frequently lost me in the details. I knew what I wanted the machine to do. He knew how to make that happen, but frequently forgot I wasn’t the same caliber of brainiac that he was. Morrison nodded, looking impressed. I excused myself and headed back to the lab.


	24. Chapter 24

I awoke with a start, my heart racing. I could feel Steve’s heart beating under my hand, and his slow even breathing told me he was still asleep, so I had at least not wakened screaming. But my heart was racing, and I couldn’t catch my breath. I couldn’t remember what I’d dreamed about either, which was unusual. As my breathing returned to normal, my head started to throb, like it was being crushed in a vice. I sat up, and gasped. And I still couldn’t catch my breath. 

I staggered to the bathroom and splashed cold water on my face. The pain in my head was getting worse, and I tried to think if I’d done anything in particular to cause it. I heard Steve stirring in our bed. 

“You okay?” He mumbled from the dark.

“Headache.” I managed the one word before I forced myself to lie down on the cold tile of the bathroom floor. I heard Steve make his way toward me, and then drop to his knees suddenly.

“Hey, are you sure you’re alright?” He ran his hand down my back and then tried to push my hair off my face. I cringed away from his touch when he neared my forehead.

“I don’t know.” I admitted. He ran a washcloth under the tap and pressed it against my forehead. The cold was searing and painful, then soothing. I sighed, frustrated.

“Do you trust the new CMO?” Steve asked, rubbing the small of my back. I nodded weakly. He lifted me into his arms, and carried me out of the bathroom. He paused long enough to slip on his runners, readjusting me in his arms, and carried me toward the infirmary. The motion made my stomach turn, and I gagged on the bile rising in the back of my throat. 

The infirmary lights were so bright that I turned my face into Steve’s chest and whimpered. He walked directly to the nearest bed and laid me down, drawing the curtain and dimming the examination lights so that I was able to tolerate the brightness. 

“Can you get Dr. Morrison?” Steve asked Derek, quietly.

“What’s going on?” Derek asked.

“She said she has a headache, and I found her on the floor in the bathroom. She’s barely responding to me. She got that concussion in New York.” Steve was brief. He sat down on the edge of the bed and kept rubbing my back. I could hear Derek talking quietly to someone on the phone. 

“Okay, Lex. I’m going to start an IV. Kevin will be here in just a minute. We’re going to test drive all that new charting software on you, starting with labs and an MRI. Did you have any follow-up after your discharge from Midtown?” Derek was efficient, speaking as he ran through the initial assessment.

“No. I was supposed to have a second MRI last week, but I got busy with this project with Stark.” My voice was whisper quiet. I tried to sit up and was immediately hit with such a huge wave of nausea that I laid back down. Steve put another cool cloth across my forehead. I tilted my head to smile at him, but couldn’t focus my vision. I could tell he hadn’t stopped to get dressed though. I could make out the blur of his plaid pajama bottoms slung low across his hips.

“You must be cold.” I placed my hand on his chest. He bent down and kissed my forehead.

“Don’t worry about me. I’ve been colder.” There was more than a hint of irony in his tone. I smiled weakly. Dr. Morrison pulled back the curtain.

“Let’s get you into the MRI, Lex.” He flashed a penlight across my eyes. I flinched again. Kevin motioned to Derek to help me down to the MRI, but Steve waved him off and picked me up again. I was in too much pain to protest. He laid me on the MRI cot and stepped out of the room.

“You know the drill, Lex. Hold still. We’re just going to scan your head so it shouldn’t be long.” Kevin’s voice came through the speaker.

“Focus on my occipital. There was quite a bit of swelling there from the concussion, maybe we missed a bleed.” I mumbled. The machine roared to life around me. I closed my eyes again and focused on breathing as the cot moved forward for the scan. When the scan was over, Steve carried me back to the exam room, and Derek gave me something for pain. I slipped back to sleep.

XXX

Steve was sitting at the bedside, head down on the bed, snoring lightly. He was still in his pajamas, and despite his facetious comment about having been colder, there were goose bumps playing across his shoulders. I closed my eyes and then looked at him again. My vision was clear, and he was in focus. I reached over and ran my fingers through his hair. He stirred, and sat up. When he saw I was awake, he smiled in relief.

“Welcome back.” He squeezed my hand. I returned his smiled and then looked past him and noticed there was a window. And I was looking across the New York skyline.

“What happened?” I asked. My head felt heavy and I was exhausted.

“You were right. You had a bleed in your occipital. Thankfully small. Dr. Morrison sedated you, and transported you to the Hub for emergency surgery.” He explained.

“How long?” I asked.

“You’ve been in and out for the last week.”

“And you haven’t got changed yet? Has my sense of smell been affected? You should reek.” I stated. Steve laughed, the look of relief so palpable it was alarming.

“I had a shower before I came up this morning. I just had a feeling I shouldn’t waste time this morning, and didn’t bother getting dressed.” He touched my face and looked so sad, “I thought I’d lost you.”

“I’m right here.” I put my hand over his, and closed my eyes. I was so very tired. I felt his forehead touch mine, and he kissed me gently. Someone at the door cleared her throat. At one point in our relationship, we probably would have pulled apart like we’d been burned, but Steve was slow to withdraw his touch. I looked over at the doctor waiting at the door.

“Dr. Richmond, you’ve given Captain Rogers quite the scare.” She admonished. I smiled weakly.

“Keeps him young.” I squeezed his hand, and he shook his head, smiling.

“I suppose you want the straight story, no sugar coating. Your colleagues suggest you are the kind of person who doesn’t waste words when they aren’t necessary. I am Dr. Jane McAndrews, and I am the head of neurosurgery for SHIELD. You had a bleed in the occipital. I understand you actually diagnosed it?” She paused.

“No, I just suggested that was where to start looking, based on my MRI after my concussion.”

“At any rate, we needed to surgically decompress the site. I irrigated and cauterized the vessel. You’re lucky it was a small tear and slow bleed, or you could be dead. As it was, the clot was quite large when we opened you up. Your recovery has been unremarkable. I expect you’ll need a few weeks of rest, with no exertion. Physio will be in this afternoon to assess you, and ensure there has been no long-term damage. All our neurological tests so far have suggested you will have a full recovery.” She explained.

“Thank you, Dr. McAndrews.” I nodded. I struggled to push myself up to sitting. Steve leaned over and helped me, and then elevated the head of the bed to support me.

“So she should be fine?” Steve asked. He was pale and looked exhausted. I didn’t think it was possible for him to get exhausted. The super soldier serum should have negated that and allowed him to get by on much less sleep. That was the first sign I had that I might not be getting the full story about my injury.  
“I’m cautiously optimistic that there will be no ill-effects. We’ll see what happens with physio this afternoon.” Dr. McAndrews was fairly non-committal. I glanced at Steve and back to the doctor.

“Steve, can you get my a glass of water?” I asked. He nodded and slipped out of the room. I turned my gaze on the doctor.

“What aren’t you telling him?” I demanded.

“We lost you a number of times during surgery. Quite frankly, I’m astonished you made it through the surgery, let alone woke. It will be a long road to recovery, and I’m hesitant to suggest that you will ever practice medicine again.” She spoke quickly and quietly, glancing toward the door with every phrase. My heart started to pound.

“What do you mean?” I could feel the panic rising in my chest. I couldn’t imagine what I would be without my career. Would SHIELD even have a place for me? Where would I go? What would happen? Would Steve still want to be with me, if I was an invalid?

“Time will tell, Dr. Richmond. I don’t want to dash your hopes, but I also want you to remain realistic. You’ve had a serious head injury. We won’t know how badly you’ve been injured for months. For what it’s worth, I am the best in the country. My technique is precise and my part of the surgery was flawless. How is your vision?” She glanced over her shoulder again.

“Clear, in focus.” I answered honestly. She nodded.

“That’s a good sign. The bleed was contained in the occipital, so I’ve high hopes that nothing else should be affected. But Director Fury knows you won’t be back to work for a long while, if ever. You should anticipate a visit from him soon, now that you’re awake.” She stopped speaking abruptly, and Steve rounded the corner into the room moments later. 

“Thank you, Doctor.” I hoped she understood that I’d dismissed her. She collected my chart and left the room. Steve sat down beside me, and handed me the cup. He waited until I was drinking before he spoke.

“She doesn’t think you’ll work again.” It was a question.

“You heard everything, didn’t you?”

“I’m not stupid, Lex. I knew why you sent me away.”

“What happens if I’m sidelined forever?” My words were a whisper. Steve pulled me into his arms.

“You’re too valuable to sideline. Fury will find a use for you, one way or another.” He almost sounded angry with that. I leaned into his arms.

“And you?” I asked. He buried his face in my hair and sighed.

“I’ve cast my lot. I love you, Alexandra. That won’t change.” I felt a tear slip down my cheek and leaned into his embrace, relieved.


	25. Chapter 25

Steve was stretched out beside me on the hospital bed when the physiotherapy team came in to assess me. He slipped off the bed and out of the way quickly. The physiotherapist moved a few things around the room, and brought in a walker. He set it against the wall.

“I’m Matt, and I’m your physiotherapist. Have you been moving at all, Alexandra?” He was to the point, and had this clipped British accent that made him sound so officious. I appreciated it.

“Not really. I only woke up this morning. I can move around in bed okay though. I’d kill to get up to a toilet and get rid of this catheter.” I complained. He smiled.

“Motivation is an excellent thing. Can you sit up at the edge of the bed?” He stood close to the foot of the bed, ostensibly to help me if I couldn’t. I scooted over and sat up. He placed the walker in front of me, and gave me directions on how to use it. I smiled and nodded. I knew the directions by heart; I’d said them so many times with my own patients. I put my feet down on the floor and pushed off the bed, to standing. I held the side rail of the bed until I was steady, and then put my hands on the walker. I was a little dizzy, but I felt that was to be expected. Matt adjusted the catheter bag so it was hanging on the walker, and not the bed.

“Shall we go for a walk, love?” He asked, and placed his hand behind me, not quite touching the small of my back. Steve kept watch from the end of the bed. He looked like he was ready to jump across the bed and Matt to help me, if necessary. I took a tentative step forward. I felt weak, but not incapable. I took another step. And another. And soon, I was at the bathroom door. I wanted to scream for joy, and get the nurse in to remove the catheter right away. I knew I’d have to wait until Dr. McAndrews gave orders though.

“Want to try without the walker?” Matt asked. I nodded.

“Yes!”

“Captain Rogers, can you come along side of Alexandra here? If she decides she’s not strong enough to walk, you are better equipped to catch her than I am.” Matt smiled. Steve bounded over and stood at my side. I could tell he wanted to hold me up and was restraining himself. I pushed the walker away and took a small step. Again, I took another. My legs were so weak and I was so tired, but I pushed myself to make it to the bed. Steve pulled me into a fierce hug when I put my hand on the side rail of the bed.

“You are amazing, Lex.” He kissed my forehead.

“Why?”

“You’re a fighter. Don’t think I didn’t see how hard that was. We’ll walk again later.” He helped me get settled back in bed.

“I think I need a good meal and a nap first.” I laughed. I desperately wanted a steak, and said so. Steve suddenly broke into a wide smile and dashed out of the room without saying anything. Seconds later, he ran back in, kissed me and told me he’d be back in a couple of hours, and disappeared back out the door. Matt looked impressed.

“That’s a good man you have, Alexandra.” He offered. I smiled.

“Of course he is. He’s Captain Motherfucking America.” I winked. Matt let out a belly laugh. He made some notes in my chart and flipped the folder shut. I thought about the charting program I’d been working on with Tony Stark and hoped we’d got far enough before I was knocked out of commission. Matt took his leave and I laid back to rest. Director Fury and Tony Stark entered the room a few minutes later.

“You’d do anything to get out of morning dance party, Lexy. Bad form.” Tony teased. I laughed, and ignored the nickname I found so irritating.

“Oh, I will totally dance party your ass off. Just give me a few days. I’ve got some serious moves hidden away.” I threatened with a grin.

“Better than the sprinkler?” Tony did the move. Director Fury rolled his eyes.

“How are you feeling, Richmond?” Fury asked. I shrugged.

“Like someone dug a blood clot out of my brain.”

“McAndrews says you may not be able to go back to medical.” He stated. I nodded.

“She’s trying to let me down easy, sir. I won’t go without a fight.”

“No question in my mind about that. How did physio go?”

“Well. I can walk. I’m weak though. To be expected after a week in bed and a major brain surgery. My vision is awesome though, and considering it was the occipital that was affected that suggests I’m in good shape.” I offered. Tony threw a tablet down on the bedside table.

“I uploaded your chart. I thought you might like to see how some of the changes you suggests work. And the team on the helicarrier had some recommendations after beta-ing it on you.” Tony opened my chart and brought up some holographic images. I leaned back and squinted. The holograms were fuzzy.

“That’s weird.” I said, and waved my hand in front of my face.

“What?” Tony asked.

“Those aren’t supposed to be out of focus, are they?” I responded. He shook his head.

“No, they’re pretty crisp. Could your depth perception have been affected?” He asked. Fury took a seat beside the bed and watched Tony and I interact.

“Entirely possible. You wear reading glasses, don’t you?” I asked. He blushed and pulled them out of his pocket. I took them and put them on. The images cleared a little. I waved my hand across where I thought the image of my MRI was, and managed to close the window instead of working with it. Tony pursed his lips and pulled another pair of glasses out of his pocket. He handed them to me.

“Try these. Before you call me an asshole. Just try them.” He suggested. I held them up. They were movie 3D glasses. I raised an eyebrow and met his gaze. He looked insistent.

“Why do you have these?” I asked as I slipped them on. I handed Tony back his reading glasses.

“I came from seeing the new Pixar movie.” He admitted. I snorted and looked back to the hologram. I tried to interact with it again and didn’t overshoot the image this time. I flipped through the layers of my brain and looked at the damage and the repair Dr. McAndrews had done. I zoomed into a small area and nodded. Fury and Tony both looked lost. I pulled the section away and enlarged it again.

“See this spot here? It’s compressed.” I said, pointing to a spot that looked a little like a smudge.

“What about it, Richmond?” Fury asked.

“I think that might be what’s affecting my vision still. If it is, that should resolve in a few weeks. Is Dr. McAndrews around?” I hit my call button and waited for the nurse.

“How can I help?” She poked her head into the room quickly.

“Is Dr. McAndrews around? I want her to look at this.” I pointed to the image floating above the bedside table. She nodded and disappeared. Dr. McAndrews came in soon after. 

“Dr. Richmond, you shouldn’t be working. Director Fury, I’m stunned you would allow this.” She admonished. To his credit, Director Fury looked a little embarrassed before he regained his cool demeanor.

“Dr. McAndrews, see that funny smudge? That’s a compression in my brain. Could that be affecting my vision?” I pointed to the spot on the MRI.

“I thought you said your vision was fine?” She accused.

“I’m not wearing 3D glasses because I think they’re cool.” It was snarky, but to the point. She looked up at me and suddenly laughed. She looked back at the MRI.

“Can this be made bigger?”

“It will start to lose some of the resolution, but yes. We were working on developing an MRI with a higher resolution picture when someone decided that a brain bleed was a good idea.” Tony offered and made the cutaway larger again. McAndrews stepped closer and peered in. She pulled the 3D glasses off my face and put them on, looked, took them off and handed them back. She gestured for the image to be turned. I twisted it for her and she cocked her head to one side.

“This will heal. You’re right, it’s where the clot was sitting when I decompressed the area. It may be what is affecting your vision. But the 3D glasses are cute. Since I’m here, let’s check your neurovitals.” She ran through a quick assessment before excusing herself. She came back a few minutes later.

“What is that tablet?” She asked, her curiosity getting the better of her. Tony smirked.

“Richmond doesn’t think she’s a genius. She developed that though.” He offered.

“It’s an e-charting system that Mr. Stark and I were working on when…” I trailed off. She nodded.

“It’s brilliant. That’s exactly the kind of project you need to ease you back into work if you’re going to be able to work again. Light duties, at a desk. In a few weeks, when I discharge you, of course.” She gave a meaningful look to Director Fury. He nodded. Tony picked up the tablet and flipped a few things across the screen before handing it back.

“I have to run. I’ve set this tablet up with internet and email. Netflix, I know Cap likes it. No porn.” He winked and left. I turned to face Director Fury.

“There were a lot of knowing looks between you and Dr. McAndrews, sir. You aren’t holding anything back?” I wasn’t asking so much as demanding. He smiled.

“I wouldn’t tell you if there was. However, no. I told her after your surgery that I had no doubts that you’d pull through. She disagreed, and didn’t think you’d wake. We had another conversation this morning. She figured you wouldn’t walk and your vision would be permanently impaired. So far you’re blowing her theories out of the water. And you shouldn’t be breathing. Given what we know about the world now, she’s understandably suspicious.” Fury explained. I was confused. I must have looked it too because before I could say anything, he continued.

“Look, you’ve had a lot of interaction with a lot of remarkable beings. She expressed some concern before I came in that you may have suffered some genetic corruption at some point in the last few months.”

“Genetic corruption?” I was astonished. Fury moved his chair closer to the bed and lowered his voice.

“You were in close proximity to the Chitauri during the Battle of New York, and your burns were contaminated with Chitauri remains. Loki laid that frost burn on you. And you’re sleeping with a super soldier. Any one of those things could have done something to alter your DNA.” His voice was so low I had to strain to hear it.

“Run a DNA test.” I suggested.

“We are in the process of doing exactly that. Will you be able to handle to outcome?” He asked. I sat back. My heart was racing and that familiar feeling of welling panic was returning to my chest. I forced myself to breathe in through my nose, and out through my mouth. I closed my eyes and thought of nothing. My heart rate started to slow to normal, and the panic ebbed. I opened my eyes and fixed my gaze on Director Fury.

“I think I’ve proven on more than one occasion that I can handle anything SHIELD chooses to throw at me.” I replied. Fury smiled.

“Work on getting better. Let’s see if you can’t make Dr. McAndrews’ head spin.” He patted me on the shoulder and left. I finally got to lie back and take a nap, but my brain didn’t want to slow down. I kept going over Fury’s comments about genetic corruption. I rubbed absently at my arm, fighting off an itch while I tried to relax. My blanket seemed extra scratchy, and I picked at where it had been rubbing as I wrestled with the potential of what may have happened over the last few months.

I finally fell asleep and blissfully had no dreams. 

XXX

The scent of a grilled steak woke me. I opened my eyes and realized I still had Tony’s ridiculous 3D glasses on. I pulled them off and rubbed my eyes. Steve was fiddling with something across the room. He turned around and presented me with a plate. A huge, perfectly grilled steak, with asparagus and potatoes were artfully laid out on the plate. My mouth started to water. I reached out to get my cutlery. Steve nearly dropped the plate in shock.

“What the hell happened to your arm, Lex?” He carefully put the plate down on the over-bed table and grabbed my arm. I looked down and gasped. I hadn’t noticed the frostbite from Loki in ages. It had healed not long after the burns had, and hadn’t been bothering me at all. Now the handprint was back and was an angry red. I hadn’t realized it, but it was what had been itching me before my nap.

“Oh shit.” I whispered.

XXX


	26. Chapter 26

Physio had me on a treadmill down in the gym, walking slower than molasses during a cold spell. I tried to sneak the speed higher, but Matt smacked my hand and dropped the pace again. I shot him a glare.

“You don’t scare me. Who do you think helped the Widow learn to walk again?” Matt asked, as though I knew what the fuck he was talking about. I continued to glare, plodding along like an old woman after a hip replacement. I scratched absently at my arm, and then dropped my hand, remembering not to touch. 

The DNA test results had not come back yet. SHIELD apparently kept a dermatologist on staff at the Hub though, and he came to take a look at me. He’d concluded that it was frostbite. And other than that had largely been completely useless. Between the lack of answers about what was going on with my body and the over cautious treatment of my in physio, I was so frustrated I wanted to scream. I looked down at my arm. It was still red, but had started to peel in large flakes. So gross. 

I tore my gaze away from the mess on my arm and focused on the monitor. My heart rate was steady and low. I’d been on the treadmill for fifteen minutes and wasn’t even close to feeling like I was exerting myself. I growled under my breath.

“Hungry?” Matt asked, glancing up from the tablet he was charting my progress on. 

“Bored out of my mind. Please. Let me run. I was running 10k a day. I know I can run. I feel fine.” I complained. Matt sighed and pursed his lips.

“Push it up until you’ve doubled your current speed.” He consented. I bumped my speed up, but was still only walking briskly. I kept at that pace for five minutes and looked up at the monitor. My heart rate had barely moved.

“I’m going to run now.” I told Matt, and pushed the speed on the treadmill up to my usual running pace. He stood up and perched cautiously beside me, I guess thinking to catch me if I suddenly collapsed. I honestly expected to feel winded after five minutes, but I was feeling great. I glanced at the monitor and saw that my heart rate had finally started to rise, but it was still lower than it should have been. I found a spot on the wall and kept running, setting the treadmill for ten kilometres. I stared at the spot, focusing on it instead of the itching in my arm. After twenty minutes, Matt stepped back from the treadmill. He stayed standing by me, but wasn’t as guarded. At thirty minutes, he had relaxed. By forty minutes, he was sitting back in his chair, watching me keenly and making notes in my chart. The program cycled down and stopped after I’d been running for about an hour. I was tired, but not any worse than before the surgery.

“Stretch out and then sit. I want to assess you.” Matt ordered me. I worked through a cool down and then sat in the chair he’d vacated. He checked my vital signs manually, then checked them a second time.

“I feel pretty good.” I offered. Matt nodded.

“You shouldn’t though. You shouldn’t be able to do what you just did.” He was dumbfounded. 

“But I did. And until Fury gets some answers on the tests he’s having run, we just need to listen to my body.” I shrugged. I was much calmer about this genetic corruption than I should have been. I should have been freaking right out.

“I feel rather stupid requesting you sit in your wheelchair to head back to the unit, but it is protocol.” Matt motioned toward the wheelchair. I rolled my eyes and sat. Matt pushed me back to the elevator and then back to my room. I moved from the wheelchair to the bed and laid back, suddenly tired.

“You overdid it. You’re exhausted.”

“I have always loved a nap after a run. I’m sure you’ll hear if there is ill effects from today’s experiment.” I smiled and closed my eyes. I drifted off to sleep. I wasn’t dreaming about the Destroyer or New York anymore, but instead had dreams of snow and mountains. They weren’t unpleasant dreams, but confusing. The snowcapped mountains I saw in my dreams were like none I’d ever seen at home, and I’d really never seen any mountains that compared to the Canadian Rockies. The mountains in my dreams were jagged, and larger somehow. I awoke cold, goose bumps tracing across my skin. My arm tingled painfully.

Director Fury was sitting in the chair beside my bed, reading a romance novel that Steve had brought me. The look on his face was priceless. He was completely engrossed, yet looked completely disgusted. I cleared my throat and he snapped the book closed.

“Interesting choice in literature for a doctor who finished with distinction.” He commented as he put it back on my bedside table. I smiled.

“Can’t always be medical journals.” My laugh was unashamed. Fury leaned back in the chair and stared up at the ceiling.

“Matt says you’re progressing at an unnatural speed.” He didn’t make eye contact with me. I nodded anyhow, forgetting that he might not notice the gesture with his bad eye facing me.

“I feel good.”

“We have preliminary results on the DNA samples we took from you.” He clicked into the lab results section of the tablet he was carrying, and handed it to me. They’d taken a sample from my mouth and a sample from my arm. The lab app showed all my results. Initially they looked fine. But then I noticed there were discrepancies between the two samples.

“These have been messed up.” I stated. Fury shook his head.

“No. I personally took them to the lab, and sat with them for the initial processing. And compared to the results we have on file for you, there’s some disparities.” He started.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, Richmond, that your first sample, your historic sample, the one we took when you were recruited, is enough different from your most recent swab that you don’t even qualify as related to yourself anymore.” He explained. The tablet slipped from my fingers, landing with a dull thump in my lap.

“That isn’t possible.”

“It is possible. You are sitting here as proof of that. The lab is currently cross-referencing your sample against other known samples. They were able to rule out exposure to Captain Rogers immediately. Some of the nucleotides in your DNA strand have never been seen before in a human.” Fury explained. He was somehow softer than he usually was, which made me think he had more bad news. And really, the reality was that Director Fury didn’t interact like this in every SHIELD employee’s life. He got involved for big stuff only. The amount I’d seen him over the past year should have been setting off warning bells long before now.

“So this genetic corruption didn’t come from Steve.” I made that logical leap. It was really more of a tiny logical shuffle in one direction. He nodded.

“No. The Captain is not at fault here.” Fury agreed. 

“Wait, you said the nucleotides had never been seen in a human. But they’ve been seen somewhere?” My head was spinning.

“A quick and dirty reference pool matched one of the alien nucleotides in our database.”

“To whom?”

“You’re not going to be happy about this, Dr. Richmond.” Fury was avoiding giving over the information. I scratched absently at my arm, frustrated. And then I stopped scratching because I knew.

“This fucking frostbite. Loki.” I breathed.

“It is only one nucleotide of eight.” Fury offered.

“There are only four nucleotides that make up human DNA.”

“Well, you have eight at play now.”

“And one of them matches Loki.” I could feel myself growing so very angry.

“Yes. The extra four probably all do, Richmond.”

“I will kill that motherfucker with my bare goddamn hands.”

“I hope to someday give you that chance, Doctor.” Fury stood, and picked the tablet up from where I’d dropped it on the bed.

“When can I be discharged?” I asked.

“I don’t follow.” Fury replied.

“I ran 10 kilometres today and barely broke a sweat. I don’t need physio. I could be set up for outpatient check ups at any hospital with a neurology department. I know I’m not supposed to be back to work for a while, but I’d rather be at home. Back to some sort of routine that doesn’t have me languishing in an uncomfortable hospital bed.” I explained. Anything would be better than a plastic mattress. Fury nodded.

“I’ll see what Dr. McAndrews has to say.”

XXX

It was a beautiful, warm, sunny afternoon, and there was just nothing that felt quite as good as a run through Central Park. After a battery of testing to make sure my brain was decompressing properly, Dr. McAndrews acceded that I could be discharged to outpatient services at Midtown General. I would be going for neuro check-ups every other day, and was to check in with physio once a week. The freedom felt so good.

My apartment was dusty and in need of airing, so I’d flung open the curtains and windows and decided a run was in order. The feel of my feet against familiar pavement was refreshing after months on the helicarrier. It felt solid, and real. There was some serious joy welling in my chest, and I picked up my pace on the back five kilometres of my run. I checked my timer when I ran up the stairs of the apartment and was astonished. My time was four minutes faster than my previous record, which was when Steve and I were running every day. I stared at the red handprint on my arm and wondered what else was going to come up as result of this DNA corruption Loki had inflicted on me.

The hot water of the shower streamed down my body and as I lathered my hair, I felt the stitches in the back of my head, and admired how little of my hair Dr. McAndrews had needed to shave for the surgery. If there was anything I was prideful about, it was my hair. Long, wavy and an auburn red that usually defied categorization, it had always been my best feature. I rinsed the shampoo out and conditioned before deciding to shave my legs.

I didn’t hear the guy come into the bathroom, but when he pulled back the shower curtain, all the extra work with Natasha that I’d been doing before my surgery paid off. I stood over the intruder, my knee in the centre of his chest, and arm cocked back, ready to punch. There was soap in my eyes, and I tried to blink it out before he got the upper hand. And then he started laughing.

“For fuck’s sake, Steve! You scared the shit out of me!” I stood up and hopped back into the shower, chilled. He quickly stripped down and joined me. He kissed the back of my neck and wrapped his arms around me.

“I was aiming for pleasant surprise. I’m impressed. Obviously the work with Natasha has paid off.” 

I rinsed off, and grabbed a towel. Steve came out into the living room with a towel around his waist as I was pulling a t-shirt on. He pulled me into a close hug and just held me for a few minutes. I relaxed into his arms.

“How long are you here?” I looked up at him. He smiled.

“Long enough to move us into a 2 bedroom on the fourth floor. Before you pick another fight with me, Lex, hear me out. We’re both permanently stationed here in New York. You can have your own bedroom, we can say we’re roommates if you are uncomfortable with the idea of living together. That’s the reason I requested a 2 bedroom. It means that when we are both on leave we actually can spend time together. We won’t always be working in the same places.” He spoke quickly. I smiled.

“I wasn’t going to pick a fight. I thought Stark was planning residences in Stark Tower?” I asked. Steve nodded.

“He’s calling it Avengers Tower these days. I’m not quite reading to move in there. Are you?” He asked. I laughed and extricated myself from his embrace. I sat on the couch. Steve walked over to my fridge, opened it, made a disgusted noise and closed it.

“I’m not the Avenger.” I answered.

“You’ve been home for a day and you haven’t gone shopping yet.” He changed the topic.

“I was going after my run.”

“It’s a good thing you have me to take care of you, sunshine. Let’s go get some groceries while the movers get started.” He disappeared back into the bathroom to get dressed. As if on cue, there was a knock on my door. I let them in and Steve gave them instructions for my apartment and his, and handed over keys for both of them and the new place.


	27. Chapter 27

“I can’t believe you eat that crap.” Steve criticized as I tossed a box of macaroni and cheese into my basket. I raised an eyebrow.

“Kraft Dinner is a Canadian institution. I crave it about once a month.” I explained.

“It’s repulsive.” He countered. I rolled my eyes.

“You’re just mad because you never had it with a ketchup smile before.” I sighed. He looked confused. 

“That sounds horrifying.”

“Well, I’m sorry, but I am patriotically required to eat Kraft Dinner once a month.” I snarked. He laughed.

“Right. Truth, Justice and the Canadian way?” He teased.

“Actually, Peace, Order and Good Government. But who’s counting.” I smiled, “Come on, let’s go find healthy and nutritious things to counter my one lonely box of Kraft Dinner.” He shot a look of disgust down into my basket and led me into the produce aisle.

XXX

“This is exactly as disgusting as I thought it would be.” Steve flicked his Kraft Dinner around his plate. I laughed and tucked into my bowl. 

“You should have trusted me about the bowl and the ketchup smile. Mmm. So good.” I took a big forkful.

“I can’t believe I share a bed with you. Such questionable taste.” He made a disgusted face again. I slid my hand up his thigh.

“What does that say about you, sweetheart?” I kissed his cheek. He chuckled and kissed me back, his mouth finding mine.

“Oh, you taste like it now. Yuck.” He pulled away and rose from the table.

“You know, I’ve watched you eat hot dogs.” I commented.

“Once or twice a year, they aren’t bad. I just prefer my food to come from something I recognize.” He shrugged.

“Says the man who has a cupboard full of microwave popcorn.” I quipped as I put my dishes in the dishwasher. He shook his head.

“For watching movies only, Lex. Brush your teeth. Let’s go to bed.” He kissed my forehead and smacked my bum. 

“Careful. I’ve hurt men for less.” I teased. He pulled me into an embrace.

“I’ll take that risk.” He smacked my bum again and backed toward the bedroom, waggling his eyebrows. I laughed and finished loading the dishwasher before joining him.  
My alarm rang early. Steve reached across me and turned it off.

“Why it that even set? You’re on medical leave.” He complained as he snuggled up beside me. I leaned back into him, enjoying the warmth of his body.

“Morning run, and I need to go for my first neuro consult at Midtown.” I stretched and got up. My arm wasn’t as itchy, but I was still rubbing it out of habit. I looked down and noticed that most of the dry skin had finally flaked off, and now I had a red outline of Loki’s hand on my arm. The interior of the handprint was a paler colour than my skin usually was, and the flesh was cool to the touch.

“Stop picking.” Steve moved my hand away and kissed my neck before sliding out of bed and getting dressed. I followed suit and soon we were running through the park in silence. I kept pace with Steve easily, and on the way up the stairs, I checked the timer on my phone. We’d shaved another couple of minutes of my personal best. I didn’t really think about it until I was in the shower.

I came out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel, scrubbing at my hair with another one.

“What happens if I turn into a frost giant?” I asked Steve. He was standing in the kitchen drinking a glass of water.

“We save money on ice cubes?” He asked. I smiled, appreciating that he wasn’t terribly concerned.

“Really though. If I suddenly turn blue and get all ragey and cold?” I asked. Steve put his cup in the sink and kissed me as he walked toward the bathroom for his shower.

“I don’t think you should borrow trouble, Lex.” He recommended.

“Steve, in the last 2 days, I’ve shaved 6 minutes off my personal best time for 10 kilometres. I know you probably wouldn’t notice because you keep pace with me usually because I’m slower. But today I kept pace with you. And I bet if you pushed tomorrow, I could still keep pace. I shouldn’t be this healthy after a major cranial surgery. I should still be getting rehab and physio. I should be relearning how to talk and eat, and walk. I don’t think it’s borrowing trouble to wonder what the fuck Loki did to me, and wonder how it’s going to impact my life.” I was rather more calm about the situation than I thought I should have been, but along with the dreams of mountains, I found I was feeling more serene in general. Steve was standing at the bathroom door.

“I don’t think you’re going to turn blue, Lex. And trust me, there’s not a lot of disadvantages to being genetically enhanced.” He winked and went for his shower. I got ready for my consult at the hospital. I leaned into the bathroom while he was shaving to kiss him goodbye.

“You’re back to the raft today?” I asked.

“I thought I could stick around for a while. I don’t technically work for SHIELD.” There was something so incredibly sexy and domestic about him, standing there at the mirror, shirtless, shaving. I wanted to skip my appointment. I wanted to so badly. But I didn’t. I kissed him goodbye and headed over to the hospital.

XXX

I had been sitting in the Neurology Clinic waiting for the better part of an hour. I’d read every Reader’s Digest joke page in the place, and was starting to get desperate when I saw a tabloid with a photo of the shield on it. Unable to stifle my curiosity, I picked it up and flipped through until I found the photo of Steve, in full Captain America kit, standing on the roof of a car during the Battle of New York.

“Who is Captain America’s Mystery Woman?” The caption across the photo read. There was an inset of Steve and I running together, and another of us eating hot dogs in the park. Both the photos were of poor quality, and you couldn’t really see my face in either of them. You couldn’t really see it was Steve either, but he’s got a much more recognizable figure than I do. I delved into the article and chuckled as I read. The author’s ‘sources’ claimed to know us and suggested I was a struggling actress. I was suddenly glad we kept a fairly low profile when we were in the city. I flipped back to the front of the tabloid to check the date. It was from shortly after the battle. How the photographer had managed to get photos of us together when we’d only been in New York for a few days before heading back to the helicarrier was beyond me. I flipped back to the story and finished reading it, restraining a few chortles at the speculation about me. 

I didn’t realize the woman in the chair beside me was reading over my shoulder until I flipped the page. She sighed heavily.

“That Captain America is sex on a stick.” She offered. I smothered a laugh and looked at her, surprised.

“I’m sorry?” I asked.

“He’s delicious. I saw him, you know, during the invasion? He helped me. Well, he helped a bunch of us. He saved us.” She explained. I smiled blandly.

“Is that so?” I murmured, not really willing her to go on, but still kind of curious. I took a sip from my coffee.

“He’s tall. Broad. Nice ass. I bet he’s a wildman in the sack.” She speculated. I choked. I really should have seen it coming. She pounded me on the back.

“Thanks.” I gasped. 

“Sure. Do you suppose that girl gets it?” She asked. I quirked an eyebrow.

“Gets what?”

“That she’s with Captain America?”

“Well, it’s not as if his identity is exactly a secret if the Weekly World News is publishing pictures of him out running with her.” I offered.

“No, I mean, do you think she gets that she’s with the most eligible bachelor in the country? That women would literally line up to take her place?” She asked. I laughed.

“I wonder what Tony Stark would have to say about that?”

“I think Captain America is much more appealing.”

“I’d be willing to bet he still puts on his pants one leg at a time.” I commented.

“Alexandra Richmond?” The nurse called me up. I offered the magazine to the woman and rose. The nurse ran through a preliminary assessment and then left me to wait in the small room for the doctor. He arrived moments later, which relieved me after the excessively long wait in the waiting room.

“Dr. Richmond! We met at the convocation party. I’m Dr. Patrick Ward. I’ve had a look at your file. You’re a bit of the miracle, aren’t you?” He smiled as he flashed a light across my eyes. He reassessed me, and then took a look at my surgical site. 

“Can you take the sutures out? They itch.” I asked. He poked and prodded at the back of my head a little more.

“I certainly can. Site looks great. I understand you aren’t having any issues with mobility or vision?” He asked and reached for a suture removal kit off the counter.

“Actually, my vision is still a little wonky, but every day it’s better. It’s mostly when working with computer screen and 3D imaging.” I explained. I could hear him snipping the sutures. They felt weird coming out.

“Mobility though?” He asked.

“Shaved 6 minutes off my 10k over the last 2 days.” I bragged. He sat back and looked me straight in the eye.

“That’s not a smart move.” He was direct.

“I understand if you disapprove, Dr. Ward. But there are other factors at play that are allowing me to recuperate faster than average. As you aware, SHIELD has some of the most advanced medical personnel in the world. I was cleared for activity by the neurosurgeon and physiotherapist before discharge.” I explained. He shook his head and looked down at my chart.

“You are to be in for assessment every other day. I will schedule a session with physio for your next visit. We have no emergency contact for you right now other than your employer. Is that correct?” He asked.

“You could add my boyfriend.” I gave him Steve’s phone number. It was a split second decision but considering that I’d wakened to find him at my beside every time I’d been injured since we’d met, he’d be angry if he wasn’t added.

“I think that’s all then.” He dismissed me. I rose and turned before I left.

“I won’t make my Wednesday appointment next week, I have a medical follow-up at SHEILD that I need to go to, and your scheduling person was unable to make Friday work. When would you like to see me instead?” I asked, trying to show him I was a team player.

“Ask her to reschedule you for Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday, please. I’ll see you on Friday, Dr. Richmond.” He handed me a slip of paper to give to the scheduling receptionist. I stole the tabloid on my way out.


	28. Chapter 28

“What is this?” Steve picked the tabloid off the coffee table after noticing his shield on the cover. I smiled and patted a spot beside me.

“About a third of the way in. You’ll laugh.” I leaned against his shoulder when he sat. He wrapped his arm around me and flipped through the tabloid. He stopped on the page with his photo and read in silence. I stole a glance at him. His jaw was set, and he looked highly irritated. He sighed heavily and closed the paper.

“Is this really a thing now?” He asked. I looked up at him, puzzled.

“Is what?” I asked.

“People actually care who my girlfriend is?”

“Why Captain, you’re famous. You’re a hero who, along with some other amazing people, prevented the complete destruction of New York city. That’s big stuff.” I explained with a smile.

“That’s fine, I know that people feel gratitude, but why would they want to know about my private life?” He was totally lost.

“The same reason people wanted to know about Bing Crosby or Jimmy Stewart in the 40s. They feel a kinship with you. I think it comes with the fame.” I shrugged.

“Why me? This is more up Tony’s alley.”

“Have you looked in a mirror and really taken inventory since you had the serum, Steve? You are astonishingly handsome, honey. I mean, Tony is a good-looking guy, but you are tall, and blonde, and have these incredible shoulders. You’re what the term ‘All-American’ was coined to describe.” I admitted. Steve still looked uncomfortable.

“Are you okay with this? If anyone finds out who you really are?” He queried. I shrugged.

“Let’s cross that bridge when we have to. Right now everyone thinks I’m some unknown actress. I can live with that.”

XXX

I was beginning to feel like I’d seen the inside of more doctor’s offices in the past week than I had before I’d been hurt. I was sitting in a cold exam room in the Hub, waiting for someone to come discuss my DNA results with me. I was grateful that I wasn’t being examined. The office was really cold. I was holding out hope that nothing had come from my tests, and there’d been some weird contamination of the sample. I was pretty sure that wasn’t the case, based on the ridiculously fast recovery I was having, but I was still hopeful things would turn out for the better.

When the doctor came in, he was accompanied by Director Fury. My heart sank. It was still bad news. The doctor sat, but Director Fury stood near the window, staring out into the interior compound, watching agent trainees running an obstacle course.

“Dr. Richmond, we have your results. We’ve gone over them a few times to make sure they were correct because they were so odd.” The doctor offered. I think his name was Murphy. I knew he was a geneticist, at any rate. I nodded for him to continue, and started picking at my cuticles.

“You have 4 alien nucleotides in your system. They have replaced some of the human nucleotides at random points on the DNA strands. How familiar are you with advanced genetic analysis, Dr. Richmond?”

“I just finished med school, Doc. I’m not a specialist.” I admitted. He nodded and continued.

“Without going into too much detail, there’s a variety of corruptions happening at various places along both strands of DNA. The alien DNA hasn’t overwritten all of the human DNA, so you aren’t going to magically mutate into an alien life form, but you certainly are a blend. A mutant, as it were.”

“Fan-fucking-tastic. What does that really mean, though?” I asked.

“Well, we aren’t sure. You’re obviously healing at an accelerated rate. Your baseline temperature has dropped by two degrees Fahrenheit, which has you just above hypothermic, but there’s no damage occurring to you on a cellular level. Given the nature of what creature corrupted your DNA, I wouldn’t be surprised to see some further decrease in your temperature. And increased strength, healing and endurance. Your assessment of the prisoner who did this was quite thorough, by the way.” He complimented me. I felt sick.

“Uh, thanks. Am I finished mutating? Can you tell?”

“We’re going to want to follow you with regular DNA testing over the next six to twelve months, just to be sure, but from the samples you gave us, it looked like the synthesis of the nucleotides into your system was mostly complete.”

“Do you think this will affect my ability to work as a doctor?” I felt a tightness in my chest and tried not to panic. He shook his head.

“If anything, it would appeal that your abilities all around are going to be increasing. You may find it easier to specialize, if your processing skill increases along with your other abilities. If you have any other questions, I’ve forwarded you my initial report on the internal server. You can contact me any time. I believe Director Fury would like to discuss this matter privately with you. It was a pleasure to meet you, Dr. Richmond.” He shook my hand and excused himself. Director Fury turned away from the window.

“How are you feeling about this?” He asked.

“If I knew where Loki was, I’m pretty sure I’d be testing the strength of my fist on his face.” I admitted.

“We’re trying to figure out a way to contact Thor, but in all honesty, I don’t think he’ll have any insight. Nor do I think he’d hand over Loki to mentor you.” Fury’s voice was dripping sarcasm. I smiled in resignation.

“You’re probably right.” My sigh was from the bottom of my lungs. I was so frustrated.

“We want to do some physical testing on you. Just to find out what you are capable of.” He stated.

“I’m not comfortable with that, Director. I made my choice when I finished med school. I don’t want to be thrown into the agent pool.” I declined. He nodded.

“That’s fair. For now. Understand that wasn’t a request. You will undergo trials. But I am willing to give you some time to get used to the idea. Testing doesn’t mean you’ll be pulled from medical. It just means you are a more versatile member of our team.”

“Understood.” I could feel my cheeks turning red. I didn’t like the idea of being used, no matter how good the pension and benefits were.

“On your return to work, you will be assigned to the Avengers Initiative until further notice. You are familiar with the medical history of everyone on the team, and they’ve all expressed their preference quite soundly.” He continued. I stood, to protest.

“Sir, the MRI project-“

“Stark is part of the Initiative. You can continue your work with him when you return to duty.” He cut me off, “Dr. Richmond, don’t think for one moment that we don’t have your best interests at heart. SHIELD has assessed the risk involved with your genetic corruption and feel that you are best suited to an environment where other unique individuals can be around to aid you in your transition.”

“SHIELD seems better served by that decision, sir.” I muttered. He raised the good eyebrow.

“SHIELD needs to protect its assets, Richmond. You are now an unknown variable in a complex experiment. You need to be in a controlled environment with people who can deal with you should things begin to go badly. It is for your protection, and the protection of the unaltered humans on the SHIELD payroll. Dr. Banner in particular should be of great help to you.” Fury sounded like he was being completely honest. I was used to a lot of what came from on high at SHIELD being couched in ambiguous wording. This felt true at least.

“Yes, sir.” I was resigned to doing as I was ordered. No matter how much it made me feel like a naughty child.

“Dr. Ward at Midtown has been in touch. He wants one final appointment with you before he releases you from his care. He says you should be cleared to return to work after that, provided we give you ongoing weekly medical follow-ups for six months. Had he spoken to you about that?” He asked.

“I pushed for it, Sir. I’m physically better than I was, and my eyesight is almost completely normal now. I’m glad he agreed with my assessment.” I admitted. Fury nodded.

“As far as I am concerned, as soon as you have the letter in hand, you can report to Avengers Tower. I understand Captain Rogers isn’t interested in living on site right now, but perhaps this assignment will change his mind.” Fury commented.

“Sir, if you are trying to force his hand by putting me on the project, I don’t think you will be successful.” I argued. Fury tipped his head and raised a shoulder in a ‘who knows’ gesture. I collected my things and looked back up at him, waiting to be dismissed.

“Have a good afternoon, Richmond.” He waved me away and went back to watching the trainees in the compound.


	29. Chapter 29

I had probes stuck to me everywhere. There was an oxygen mask on my face, and a blood pressure cuff on my arm. And they asked me to just ‘act like it’s your normal morning run’. Except it was on a treadmill, in a lab, with no windows. And I was facing a wall. I jogged along on the treadmill, reciting lab values to stay focused. There were a couple of lab rats hovering around the computer that was monitoring me. They were whispering quietly enough that I couldn’t quite hear what they were saying. One of them finally turned to me. He looked so young I had a hard time believing he was old enough to be working as anything other than a mailroom clerk, but apparently he was a biochemistry expert with a background in human kinetics. I think his name was Simon.

“Alexandra, go ahead and take it up to as fast as you can run, and sustain that for as long as you can, please.” He requested. I increased the treadmill speed until I felt I was going my fastest and got used to the new pace. While I stared at the blank white wall, I imagined throttling Loki. Natasha said my hand-to-hand was drastically improved with the increased agility, strength and speed my body had gained from the genetic corruption Loki had caused. When I had my annual target recertification, I was still fairly uncomfortable wielding a handgun, but I my scored were better than ever, and my aim had always been excellent to begin with. Director Fury had seen those results and immediately ordered the full physical assessment that was given to “unique assets” upon their discovery. So much for giving me time to adjust. I’d been told this was to establish a baseline to track for further improvements, but I didn’t believe it for a minute. 

Lost in my thoughts, I didn’t notice the passage of time, until the lab rat came and pressed stop on the treadmill. It slowed and I stepped off. I took a towel and wiped the sweat from my face. He was shaking his head.

“Are we done?” I asked. He looked at the computer print out and back to me.

“This is unreal. You were at a full sprint for 16 minutes and 43 seconds. And your heart rate is barely elevated.” He pointed to a spot on the printout, “Right here? You sped up. After 11 minutes. Running as fast as you can. You were running as fast as you can, right?”

“I think so.”

“Can I ask a really unprofessional question?” He asked. I shrugged. I couldn’t see why not. I already felt freakish enough. 

“Sure.”

“Do you have any superpowers?” It came out in a rush. I laughed.

“Like what?” It was the best question anyone had asked me since the whole fiasco had started.

“I don’t know. Can you rematerialize and rematerialize somewhere else? Or start fires with your mind? Fly? Emit a scream at such a high frequency that it liquefies the brains of your enemies?”

“Dude, have you ever read the Old Norse Eddas? Those gods and demi-gods don’t really have superpowers. They have super strength, and endurance, and intelligence, and sometimes magic weapons, but they don’t have magic powers.” I had being spending all my free time reading whatever I could get my hands on about the Viking gods. 

“I have, actually. And Loki is a sorcerer, with powerful magic. Haven’t you seen that footage from Germany? He made copies of himself. And there really isn’t a lot of info about these Frost Giants. Maybe if you think about it, you could shoot icicles or something.” He was so eager and interested, I felt bad disappointing him.

“Nothing so exciting, Simon, sorry. I’ll tell you what I have noticed though. Even though my baseline temperature has dropped, I am always freezing cold. You would think I wouldn’t notice the cold as much because I am colder. That I couldn’t feel cold unless it was super cold. But I notice the slightest chill in the air. I owned one sweatshirt before this. It’s starting to get worn out. Even when I’m running, I am cold.” Almost as if on demand, a wave of goose bumps raced across my shoulders. He tapped at his tablet for a moment and looked back up.

“Will you try something for me?” He asked. I suspected this line of questioning was completely off the books, so I agreed. He poured a cup of coffee and set it down on the table beside us. 

“Okay, it’s coffee,” I observed. 

“Pick it up, and focus on the coffee in the cup. Think about it getting cold. Put the same amount of energy you put into your run into thinking about that coffee freezing into a big ice cube.” He said. I sat down at the table, and put my hands around the coffee cup. I stared into the cup and focused my thoughts on freezing the coffee. I felt like an idiot, and pretty soon my mind wandered to work stuff, and then over to Steve, and the weirdness of life as the chief medical officer of the Avengers Initiative. Simon snapped his fingers in front of my eyes. I snapped out of my thoughts and blushed.

“Sorry, my mind wandered.”

“I caught that when you started chuckling. Try again.” He demanded. I adjusted my position in the chair and focused on the coffee cup again. I was staring so intently at it, that I got that weird tunnel vision and stopped actually seeing the coffee cup, but was still intently focused on making the coffee freeze. Simon stuck his fingers in front of my face and snapped again.

“That is totally rude.” I cocked an eyebrow in distaste.

“Well, you weren’t answering me either time. It was snap my fingers or slap your face.”

“Duly noted. Look, Simon, I’m sorry. This isn’t working.”

“Look at the cup, Alexandra.” He said. I let go of the cup and pushed it away.

“My mind is just not on this today.”

“Look at the cup, Alexandra.” He pushed the cup back toward me. I pushed it back, feeling more frustrated with every passing moment.

“I’m sorry to disappoint you with the whole superpowers thing.” I pushed my chair away from the table, readying myself to leave.

“Look at the goddamn cup, Alexandra!” He pushed it back toward me. I held my hands up in surrender and grabbed the coffee cup. The coffee was frozen solid.

“The fuck?” I breathed. I held the cup upside down. It was really frozen. Simon jumped up and got another cup of coffee.

“Do it again.” He demanded. I took the cup and focused on it. I kept my eyes alert and on the coffee swirling around in it, until suddenly little veins of frost started spreading across the surface of the liquid. I gasped and dropped the cup. It smashed on the floor and a slurry of slushy coffee spread out around the shards of porcelain.

“Holy fuck. I have superpowers. I gotta go.” I stood up and stared down at the mess on the floor, and back up at Simon. He was pale and his eyes were the size of saucers.

“Sure, we can finish this up another time. I’ll send you a reschedule notification.” He nodded, not looking up from the slush. I turned and booked it out of there before he changed his mind. It felt like it took me forever to get back to Avengers Tower. 

I stepped of the elevator and directly into Stark. He caught my arms as I bounced back toward the elevator and started laughing.

“How’d the testing go? Did they make you go ice-skating? Maybe play hockey? Eat ice cream in a blizzard? Something else to prove you’re turning into an ice monster?” He teased. I stepped out of his grip and gave him a dirty look.

“Frost Giant. And not funny.” I snapped. I needed to find Steve. Or Dr. Banner. Preferably Steve. Tony put his hand on my arm to stop me from walking away.

“They did something to you, Lexy. What did they do to you? Come on, tell Uncle Tony.” He winked. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I felt him let go of my arm. When I opened my eyes, he was looking at his hand. He looked back at me, a million questions written on his face.

“Have you seen Steve?” I asked. He shook his head.

“What did you just do, Lexy?” His words were slow and deliberate, which wasn’t something that was common to Tony Stark. I turned away to go look for Steve, heading toward the lounge. He was probably watching TV, if he had nothing else going on.

“I hate when you call me Lexy.” I called over my shoulder as I walked away without answering him. Steve, fortunately, was in the lounge. He turned off the TV when he saw me come in, and came to give me a quick kiss.

“Hungry? I’ve been trying out a new pastry recipe, and have a rhubarb pie that’s ready to eat.” He offered. I nodded, and let him lead me toward the kitchen. Despite the amazing smell coming from the pie, no one had followed their nose in yet, and we were blessedly alone. I poured myself a cup of coffee. Steve pulled plates out of the cupboard and was rustling around in the cutlery drawer for forks. He was whistling as though it were any other day. 

“Steve, I have to show you something.” I turned him to face me. He immediately became serious, and put on his Captain America face. 

“What happened at your assessment?” His eyes were concerned. I led him over to the table and made him sit. I sat down across from him and put the coffee cup between us.

“Watch.” I said, and put my hands around the cup. I focused my thoughts, just as I had in the assessment, and sure enough, moments later, tracks of ice began to spread across the top of the coffee. Steve was awestruck.

“Well, that’s going to interest Fury.” It was the understatement of the year. I pushed the cup toward him, and watched as he touched the surface of the ice, tipped the cup upside down, all the same things I’d done.

“I need to know what else is going to come from this.” I said. Steve nodded.

“Fury says there’s no way to reach Thor, but I’ve been reading that book of Norse mythology you left beside the bed. Most of it is just that, mythology. But based on what I know about Thor, and what I learned about Loki while he was here, it doesn’t take much to read between the lines and get the gist of how life works in Asgard.” He offered.

“You know how to call Thor?” I was dumbfounded. 

“Well,” He hesitated, “I don’t know if it will work. But that Heimdall guy, he’s the guardian of Asgard, and can see all the nine realms, according to the book. So why can’t we try getting his attention? I just don’t really know –“

“I do.” I stood up and headed out onto the balcony and climbed the stairs to the roof. It was surprisingly windy, and I felt unsteady on my feet. I stayed the middle of the roof and took a deep breath. I looked up at the sky. 

“Heimdall!” I yelled. My voice was swallowed by the sound of the breeze. I tried again.

“Heimdall! Heimdall! If you truly watch all the worlds, then you know what has happened in mine. I need to talk to Loki. Or Thor. But preferably Loki.” I yelled as loudly as I could, “I need to know what is happening to me!”

It wasn’t that I expected something to instantly happen, but I really wanted something to instantly happen. Nothing happened. I yelled my message a couple more times before succumbing to the chill of the wind and heading back inside. Steve handed me a plate with pie on it when I arrived in the kitchen. I ate without speaking, disappointed that nothing had magically and instantly happened. Steve sat beside me, silently eating his slice of pie. I collected our dishes and washed up, trying unsuccessfully to avoid marking time since I’d yelled myself nearly hoarse on the rooftop. I kissed Steve goodbye and headed over to the lab to work with Tony on the MRI project.

XXX

I couldn’t sleep. I had been alternating between staring at the ceiling and the back of Steve’s head for what felt like hours, but my watch assured me was actually only 45 minutes. I decided to go back to the tower and work. 

An hour later, I was sitting staring at the image in front of me, trying to figure out how to modify the 3D imagery. We’d resolved the improved resolution issue weeks ago, but now it was a matter of making the holographic images tear away more cleanly. I was on a fool’s errand. I didn’t have the expertise to figure out what I was staring at, but I felt more productive sitting and staring in the lab than I did lying in bed and staring. So it was something. I pulled up my most recent MRI and was swiping though it, admiring how well my brain had decompressed and healed over the past weeks. I pushed back the image until it was my entire body. We worked on my MRIs a lot, since the permission to use them for research was easy to acquire. We worked on all the Avengers’ MRIs a lot too, for the same reason

“Dr. Richmond, there’s someone approaching the lab.” J.A.R.V.I.S. announced from a speaker over my head. I didn’t really pay attention, Tony frequently spent all night in the lab. Maybe I could get him to explain all the theory behind the computer code that ran the simulation again. I pulled out the reproductive organs and tossed them into another holographic window. I turned toward them and starting investigating them more thoroughly. I’d had a stunning moment of revelation when I froze the coffee that had been bothering me even since. With all the mutations that had happened within my DNA, I was likely going to be unable to have children. It bugged me because Steve was so old-fashioned that if we got actually serious, I was worried he’d be devastated if I couldn’t conceive. I got lost in that thought while I was enlarging an image of my ovaries, and completely forgot about the visitor to the lab.

“Dr. Richmond.” The accented voice came from behind me. I whirled around quickly.

“Thor!” I gasped. It had worked.

“Heimdall thinks you are very intelligent.” He offered.

“It was Steve’s idea.”

“The captain has great insight, but you were the one to put the idea to action.” He acknowledged.

“I need some answers.” I cut right to the chase.

“You’d requested Loki. I’m afraid our father would not allow him to be released. Particularly not to Midgard.” He offered.

“You know, that’s totally understandable. He gave me a frost burn.” I started.

“I recall that well, Dr. Richmond.”

“He infected me. With himself.” Thor wasn’t stupid, but I had no idea what his understanding of medicine was. He took my arm in his hands and traced a finger along the faint outline of Loki’s hand.

“That mark will stay with you forever. I cannot change that.” He was apologetic.

“That’s not the issue, Thor. When he burned me, he transferred some of his DNA into me. My body absorbed it, and has mutated.”

“You’ve absorbed part of Loki?” Thor was confused. I picked up the glass of water I’d put on the table, and handed it to Thor. I place a single finger on the rim of the glass, and froze the water. Thor looked horrified.

“How can he have done this?” Thor was, for lack of a better description, floored. I shrugged.

“That’s why I needed to see him. I need to know what is going to happen. I need to know if this is going to kill me, or make me sterile, or make me taller, or whatever.” I explained. Thor nodded.

“I will seek out answers for you, Dr. Richmond.” He was so formal.

“You can call me Lex, Thor. Everyone does.”

“Of course, Lady Alexandra.” He smiled.

“Or you can keep calling me Dr. Richmond.” I decided. He smiled and excused himself. Part of me wanted to follow him, if for no other reason than to see the Bifrost open, and see if it really was a rainbow. I stayed behind, and was suddenly so exhausted that I went up to the lounge and crashed on the couch.


	30. Chapter 30

“I’m blaming you for this.” Tony held a cup of coffee beside my head. I inhaled the rich aroma and opened my eyes slowly.

“What?” I asked, sitting up and taking the cup. He stood on the other side of the coffee table, eyebrow quirked.

“There is a huge knot burned into the roof.”

“What? Tony, you need to make sense.” I complained.

“Was Thor here? Because there’s also an empty box of pop tarts in the kitchen.” He questioned. I felt the realization break across me like a wave. I still wasn’t awake, but at least I knew what he was talking about.

“Yes.” I took a sip from the cup. Swill. Obviously Steve wasn’t in the building yet, and Tony’d had to make the pot himself. I was surprised he hadn’t invented a robot to do it for him.

“He was. And?”

“He said he was going to try to get some answers for me. He’s not back yet.” I thought that was pretty obvious, from the lack of tall, blonde and muscled in the room.

“You fighting with Cap?”

“Huh?”

“You slept here, on the couch.” Tony pointed to the indent my head had left on the cushions. 

“No. I was obsessing. I thought I’d come play with the MRI proj-“

“You did not. Tell me you didn’t wreck it.” He interrupted with what appeared to be a genuine look of panic on his face. I couldn’t help but smile. I would have even drawn it out and teased him, were I not certain I could have been target practice the next time he was testing a new suit.

“It became obvious very quickly that I am not as brilliant as you are, and I spent most of the night just playing with my MRI. It was better than staring at the back of Steve’s head.” I held my hands up in surrender. Tony nodded.

“Wanna tell me about the lab tests?” Tony had obviously been to the lab before searching out coffee and me. I shook my head.

“Not really.”

“Am I glad I have no idea what any of those abbreviations mean?”

“Probably. Who would’ve thought biology would be your downfall?” I pondered. He rolled his eyes and headed to the bar. He couldn’t seriously be considering a drink at seven in the morning. He fiddled with something behind the counter for a few minutes, and emerged with ‘Heroes of New York’ action figures. He was playing with a Captain America and Hawkeye figure like a child.

“So you and Cap are fine?” Tony was unusually curious, waving the Captain America figure at me. I nodded.

“Sure.”

“When is he planning on moving into the tower? You’re welcome, of course. If you do decide to find a younger guy, we can find a place for you on one of the lower levels. Or you could just shack up with the Hawk already.” He babbled, and emphasized his point by thrusting the Hawkeye action figure toward me.

“What is with your obsession with Barton?” I asked, incredulous. I pushed the toy back toward Tony.

“He’s a young guy. He’s non-committal, so if you aren’t having fun you can just end things without complications. Cap is, well, in a word, old. He was friends with my dad, for Christ’s sake. He probably only knows the missionary position. You’re young, you’re a doctor, you have advanced biological knowledge. Let your freak flag fly, sweetheart. Barton is very flexible, I saw that during Loki’s little picnic.” He tried to make the action figure do something bendy but had no luck.

“Okay. One, his body was in suspended animation. He’s really the same age as me. Two, he’s adapted beautifully to the modern age. That includes knowing more than the missionary position, not that it’s your business. Three, Barton is lovely, but he’s not my type. Four, because why not a fourth item? Barton’s relationship with Tasha is just way too complicated for me to want to wade into that, even if he was my type.” I counted my points off on my fingers. Tony’s eyes grew wide on my last point.

“Barton and Natashalie? When did this happen?” He looked lost without a Black Widow action figure to thrust into the Hawkeye figure’s arms. He dropped both toys on the coffee table in disgust.

“Are you fucking blind? Have you never watched them interact?” I exclaimed. I rose and headed to the coffee maker to top up my cup. Swill it may be, but it had caffeine in it. Tony followed.

“More important than Hawk and the Widow, Cap does more than missionary?” Tony needled.

“I’ll be in the lab, Tony. Don’t make me get J.A.R.V.I.S. to lock you out.” I grabbed an orange from the fridge and walked away.

XXX

I flipped through a bunch of pages of lab results on the monitor in front of me, comparing my lab results from the blood I’d drawn during the night with my previous labs. It was interesting reading, but wasn’t actually giving me the information I was looking for. I decided I needed to make a visit to my friends at Midtown to see if I could get some information off the SHIELD records.

I stopped at the admitting desk in the Emergency Room and asked after Erica, hoping she was on. The nurse at the desk was just telling me that she was in the OR when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around and Jamie pulled me into a hug.

“Lexy! It’s been ages! How are you doing? How is work?” He asked. His smile was warm and welcoming, and as he let go of me, it faltered just a little.

“I am great. I just needed to see a doc off the books. You up for a quick chat?” I asked. He nodded, and steered me into a private trauma bay, shutting the door behind us.

“You are cold, Lexy. Have you been sick?” He ran the back of his hand across my forehead and cheek, frowning.

“Yeah, about that. Remember the alien invasion?” I asked. He nodded.

“I got an infection. This goes no further than you and I. I don’t want to say what I’m going to tell you could get you killed because I doubt that, but it could ruin your career if you start talking.” I began.

“Do I want to know?”

“Medically unique and extraordinary. You decide.” I shrugged. He nodded and leaned against the supply counter.

“Okay, hit me.”

“My DNA was corrupted by the alien that infected me. I’m not worried about my health at all, all the testing that’s been done between then and now has proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am just as healthy, if not healthier. But my menstrual cycle has been weird.”

“Are you pregnant? Did you finally start shagging that hot blonde who looks like Captain America?” He asked and I could tell he was curious from a medical standpoint as well as because he wanted the gossip he could share. I laughed.

“I am not pregnant. I ran that test already. I need to know if this infection has wrecked my reproductive system.” I blurted. He looked thoughtful.

“Have you had any bloodwork?” He asked.

“I’ve done thyroid, prolactin, estrogen, testosterone, FSH, and LH, as well as a standard E7.” I handed him a few pages of lab results. He looked them over quickly and looked back at me.

“These are all normal. Why are you concerned? Have you been trying to conceive?” He asked.

“God, no! No, I just, it crossed my mind and I’d rather know on my own terms than be slapped with this down the road.” I explained. He looked over the results a second time.

“Well, let’s pretend you are trying to conceive, and go ahead with an ultrasound.” He offered.

“Can this be a Jane Doe?” I asked. I really didn’t want this pinging on SHIELD’s radar. 

“Sure. Let’s go to the ultrasound suite.” He opened the door and walked out. We caught up on the short walk to the ultrasound, and I learned that Loki’s invasion had changed a lot of policy regarding the operation of the hospital. Jamie was alive with excitement about everything that was going on. We turned the corner to the ultrasound suite and entered quietly. It was very sneaky in that way the kids are sneaky when they are trying to get away with something but their parents are around. We were all stage whispers and giggles.

I got prepared and sat up on the gurney. Jamie conducted the ultrasound in as professional a manner as I could expect from a former colleague, which I appreciated. There was no inappropriate commentary or awkwardness. He was straightforward and business-like. He turned the monitor so we could both see it. He progressed through all the images silently, knowing I knew just as well as he did what we were looking at. My reproductive system was a mess.

“Check out your ovary,” He pointed at the image on the screen, “That one is totally blocked.” I could see the outline of what appeared to be a fibroid cyst or something. He continued to try to get better images before finishing the test. He left the room so I could get changed, and then came back in.

“I’m a mess.” I said quietly. Jamie put his hand on my shoulder.

“I’m sorry, Lex.”

“No, it’s okay. I didn’t know that I wanted kids.”

“We can treat this, Lexy. If you want babies, we can treat this. Don’t assume it’s off the table.” His voice was compassionate. I sighed and looked at my feet, blinking back unbidden tears.

“No. My job, it’s not just a job, it’s a lifestyle. I can’t bring kids into that mess. This just means I don’t have to worry about it. It’s better that way.” I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. In my days as a student, I’d seen women fall to pieces over this very information. I’d always felt compassion for them, but never thought I would understand enough of what they were going through to feel true empathy. I got it now. Even without the desire for children, this was a blow at the very thing that made me a woman. It was about more than just babies. 

“Are you sure, Lexy?” Jamie placed his hand over mine, and I realized I was rubbing my abdomen, right above my uterus. I dropped my hand.

“I will be. I’ll be sure. I just need some time.” I admitted. He squeezed my shoulder.

“And Captain America? Do you need help telling him?”

“What do you mean?” I hadn’t thought Jamie had realized who Steve was. He’d let me believe he didn’t know who Steve was.

“He sat at your bedside after New York in the uniform, Lexy. He wouldn’t leave, not even to let us treat his wounds. You have to tell him. That man looks at you like you are his white picket fence house in the suburbs.” He lectured me. I felt my chest tighten, and the prickle of fresh tears at the corners of my eyes.

“I don’t think-“ I was going to deny how Steve felt, but Jamie interrupted me.

“I saw him, Lexy. This won’t change how he feels, but he still deserves to know.” He was firm. I nodded, and rose to collect my things.

“Thank you for doing this, Jamie.” I stopped at the door. Jamie nodded.

“Anytime, Ms. Doe.” He smiled. I threw my arms around him and hugged him. He rubbed my hair and gave me a squeeze before holding me at arms length.

“You’re going to be fine. Your superhero isn’t going to dump you.”

“Thanks.” 

“Put in a good word for me with Black Widow, will you?” He teased. I laughed and left the room.

XXX

I found Steve reading a book about the Vietnam War in the lounge at Avengers Tower. I sat down beside him, and he snaked an arm out and pulled me close without looking up from his book. We stayed that way, quiet, for about ten minutes before Agent Barton came in. He waved and headed to the kitchen.

“Tony is trying to hook you two up.” Steve was so blasé about it, I wanted to laugh. I did laugh, actually.

“I know, he won’t let it go. I think he wants a ‘Dr. Lex’ action figure so he can make them make out.” I complained.

“He says I need to let you go. That you are young and have your whole life ahead of you. That you will eventually want to settle down and have kids and live in the suburbs.” His voice was steady and even, but I could feel his heart thumping harder than usual.

“I didn’t sign up for a house in the suburbs when I joined SHIELD, Steve, and that was before you.” I kept my voice calm too. He leaned over and kissed my forehead.

“I don’t know that I’ll ever want kids. I don’t know what the serum did there, but I don’t know that I want to bring kids into this world. I barely cope some days.” He admitted. I squeezed his thigh.

“You cope just fine.” I reassured him.

“I don’t know that I should marry, either, Lex. If it got out, you would be used against me.” He said. My heart constricted.

“You say that as if I was who you would marry.”

“Who else would I marry?”

“I just came from Midtown General.” I changed the topic. He sat up and untangled himself from me. He took my hand and looked right at me.

“What’s wrong?”

“Why do you think something is wrong?”

“Why would you go to a public hospital when SHIELD has the best medical care in the world?”

“I wanted some tests run off the radar.” I admitted. Steve leaned closer.

“And?”

“I’ll never have children, Steve. Loki broke my reproductive system.” I blurted it out and burst into tears. Steve pulled me into his arms and rocked me, shushing me like you would a small child. I let out all the tears I’d been holding in, going all the way back to the Destroyer. Steve rubbed his hands up and down my back, soothing me. My nose started running, and I tried to pull away to get a tissue, but Steve just held me close. I figured if he didn’t care about the state of his clothing, I wouldn’t either.

“Lex,” Steve started, but couldn’t quite grasp my attention, “Alexandra.” I looked up at him. He kissed me, ugly-cry face and all. I took a great hiccupping breath in, and tried to settle myself. I was only marginally successful.

“I’m sorry.” I managed. He shook his head.

“Don’t be. You’ve put up with a lot of shit, and this baloney with Loki is just one more thing.”

“I am broken.” I whispered. He took my head in both his hands and looked me in the eye.

“You are not broken, Alexandra Richmond.” He was firm.

“My ovaries are-“

“Are they still there?” He questioned.

“Well, yes.”

“Are you going to suffer any ill health from the revelation you got today?” 

“Not as far as I could tell.”

“Are you still progressing and becoming superhuman?”

“I think so.”

“You are not broken, Lex. You just live in a different paradigm now. Like me. Gives us one more reason to stick together.” He kissed my forehead again and gathered me into another hug. I felt my heart lift, and was reassured that nothing had changed. I wiped my tears away, and took a deep breath. No matter how many cups of coffee I could freeze solid, and no matter what happened to my guts, nothing had changed.

“I love you, Steve.” I spoke into his chest. 

“I love you too, Lex.” His voice rumbled in his chest. He held me in his arms like that for most of the afternoon while we watched movies. By nightfall, despite all my heartache, I felt like it was just another day. I didn’t know when Thor would be back, and really, I doubted he’d have any really useful information for me. So, while Steve and I ate dinner with the rest of the crowd at Avengers Tower, I resolved to just carry on. 

We were washing dishes together at the sink after dinner when Steve leaned over and kissed my cheek.

“You look better. Do you feel okay?” He asked.

“I do.”

“You in an okay place?” He pestered.

“Can’t think of anywhere I’d rather be.” I kissed him and started putting away dishes.


End file.
